Are we all doomed? If Brad and Angelina can’t make it work, then how can we? While no one ever truly knows what goes on behind closed doors and what is happening inside a marriage, due to their fame we get reports on what is happening with their divorce. While other famous couples, such as Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, managed to quickly and privately work out the terms of their divorce in mediation, Angelina and Brad are being splashed all over the headlines on a daily basis. It seems that it is getting more contentious every day, with Angie filing for sole custody of their kids and Brad counter-filing for joint custody, which reportedly Angie will contest. Each thinks s/he knows what is best for his/her kids.
Who suffers the most in these situations, when both parents think s/he is right and fights to the bitter end to “win”? Sadly, it is the children. Studies have shown that it is the amount and intensity of the parental conflict that has a negative effect on children and not the divorce itself. If parents continue to have intense disagreements before, during and after the divorce then people assume that the divorce damaged the kids. But this is not the case at all. Kids are shown to become relatively well-adjusted to their post-divorce life when their parents are able to have an overall amicable relationship.
During divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help couples go from a parental unit to co-parents. Throughout the process of mediation, parents are building a post-divorce relationship in which each can communicate with one another about the kids. Even after you are divorced, you are not done dealing with your ex-spouse if kids are involved. You may have to communicate more often post-divorce than perhaps you did towards the end of your marriage. You will always be Mom and Dad even when you are no longer Husband and Wife. And, your kids will be better off with less conflict. Maybe Tom and Katie should have a quick chat with Brad and Angelina.
For more information about divorce mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.
Who suffers the most in these situations, when both parents think s/he is right and fights to the bitter end to “win”? Sadly, it is the children. Studies have shown that it is the amount and intensity of the parental conflict that has a negative effect on children and not the divorce itself. If parents continue to have intense disagreements before, during and after the divorce then people assume that the divorce damaged the kids. But this is not the case at all. Kids are shown to become relatively well-adjusted to their post-divorce life when their parents are able to have an overall amicable relationship.
During divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help couples go from a parental unit to co-parents. Throughout the process of mediation, parents are building a post-divorce relationship in which each can communicate with one another about the kids. Even after you are divorced, you are not done dealing with your ex-spouse if kids are involved. You may have to communicate more often post-divorce than perhaps you did towards the end of your marriage. You will always be Mom and Dad even when you are no longer Husband and Wife. And, your kids will be better off with less conflict. Maybe Tom and Katie should have a quick chat with Brad and Angelina.
For more information about divorce mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.
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