Our Divorce Mediation Blog

The Hot-Button issue of Alimony

10/27/2017

Alimony is often a hot-button issue in divorce mediation, and the discussion can get very emotional. In many cases, one spouse feels that he or she deserves more money for a longer period while the other wants to pay less money for a shorter time. Also, while the goal is to even things out for some period of time to reflect the lifestyle of the marriage, the couple may also disagree on what kind of lifestyle they had. For example, if this past year was particularly good or bad, how should that factor into the calculation. Luckily, in divorce mediation, we are used to difficult discussions. And we can guide divorcing couples with somewhat competing interests to reach an agreement.

Determining the amount and time period of spousal support or alimony requires a balancing of factors – the length of the marriage, the parties’ age, health, income and ability to earn, etc. Because there is no one set formula, divorce mediators can help couples come up with creative solutions. For example, for our clients at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we sometimes create a plan where the amount of spousal support changes over time, giving the receiving person some opportunity to establish himself/herself financially. Also, in our financial plans, we balance spousal support with the distribution of assets and debts to come up a fair allocation for both people. Alimony has tax consequences and also impacts child support, so it’s important to have a financial agreement that works for the whole family.

Coming up with a plan for alimony that makes everyone feel comfortable can be tricky, but it is doable. For more information on spousal support or divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

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why choose mediation?

1/20/2017

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With the new year comes a reminder post – what makes divorce mediation a better option than divorce litigation?

The short answer is -- divorce mediation is faster, cheaper, more private, and less stressful than litigation.

In divorce mediation, divorcing couples work together with one mediator to create an agreement on parenting and financial issues. Working with one neutral mediator, instead of two lawyers makes the process move more quickly. And, paying one person instead of two reduces the costs dramatically. Divorce mediation is confidential, unlike the court process which is public record. Finally, divorce mediators, like the ones at Westfield Mediation, LLC, are trained to work closely with couples to help them arrive at a fair and equitable agreement that makes sense for their particular family situation. We break down the divorce process into manageable steps. This personalized approach reduces stress and leads to an agreement that both spouses are more likely to follow.

For more information on divorce mediation, , please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

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Mediators or Lawyers – Why pay more?

6/21/2011

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Often, a person will call us hoping to schedule mediation. The next day, he’ll call back to say that his wife has hired a lawyer, so they aren’t doing mediation anymore. Yet, as we explain to these callers, it doesn’t have to be “either/or” – litigation and mediation are not mutually exclusive. In fact, even for divorcing couples who have some areas of disagreement, the best approach -- that is, the approach that saves the most money and provides the best result for family relationships -- is to limit litigation to only those issues that remain unresolved after mediation.

Our mediators are doubly knowledgeable – we know family law and we know how to work with people to come to a fair agreement. We can help divorcing couples reach agreements on parenting, division of assets and/or spousal support. In some cases, parties can’t agree on one or two distinct issues in mediation, and they may decide to resolve those remaining problems through their lawyers. This targeted approach is less expensive and time-consuming than trying to complete the entire divorce in court.

Attorneys typically charge by the hour, with fees ranging from $300-500 an hour. If each spouse has his/her own attorney, the costs quickly add up. For example, a simple parenting issue of deciding how to get the children from one home to another can generate bills of $1,000 for husband and wife, because each spouse must speak to his/her own lawyer and then the two lawyers need to communicate with each other, and then report back to their clients. Yet, in mediation, husband and wife are in the same room, paying a single lower fee, and working together. Similarly, if a couple can work together with a mediator to devise a parenting schedule, why bring that issue to two attorneys who charge high hourly fees to meet with you and negotiate with each other, instead of one lower-priced mediator? The end result, the parenting plan, can be the same whether you use a mediator or litigation, so why pay more for the same result.

Think about what you do in other areas of your life -- when your child has an ear infection, you go to the pediatrician, not the ENT. Only when the child has an unresolved problem do you go to the specialist. Why? Because you know your pediatrician has the skills to handle it, and because it saves you time and money. You can handle your divorce the same way – go to the mediators, and use your lawyers, only as needed. Limit the amount of time and money spent with lawyers.

In addition, by limiting the issues on the table after mediation, there is less gamesmanship – why argue about matters on which you mainly agree? Arguing just for the sake of arguing hurts everyone – husband, wife, children and extended family. By finding areas of agreement through mediation, divorcing couples improve their post-divorce relationship, which also minimizes the stress for your children.

As we tell our callers, tell your spouse that it isn’t true that the best results require high-priced lawyers. At Westfield Mediation, LLC, clients benefit from the knowledge and experience of mediators with backgrounds in law, marriage and family therapy. As graduates from the most prestigious universities in the country, we learned from leaders in our fields. We offer legal and mental health expertise, and have access to the highest quality resources. Divorce through mediation, or through a combination of mediation and litigation, is the best way to go.

Randi M. Albert

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The Hot-Button issue of Alimony

why choose mediation?

Mediators or Lawyers – Why pay more?

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