Our Divorce Mediation Blog - Westfield Mediation, LLC

The Housing Market and Divorce Mediation

3/16/2023

Are higher mortgage interest rates a good reason to postpone getting divorced? We have been hearing from a lot of potential divorce mediation clients that they want to move forward with their lives but they are afraid that they won’t be able to sell their home and/or afford a new one since the mortgage rates are up from their pandemic lows.

Yet, while it is true that the housing market is somewhat unsettled right now, and interest rates are higher than they were over the past two years, it is important to keep in mind that from a historical perspective they are not that high. Still, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we understand that for most people, their home is their most significant asset, so these financial concerns are not unreasonable.
In divorce mediation, we work with divorcing couples to come up with a plan for selling or keeping the house in light of current economic conditions that takes the family’s needs into account and works for both parties now and into the future.

We also realize that there is always going to be some possible reason to delay taking action. As mediators, we find that it is common for people considering divorce to wonder at any time whether this is “the best time” to move forward. In reality, change is hard. There is never going to be a perfect time, and the future is always going to be unpredictable. What’s important to remember, is that for every obstacle that arises in this divorce process, there are workarounds. And that’s what we come up with in mediation. Plus, there are a lot of sound emotional reasons for moving forward. The relief and mental health value of moving ahead for couples considering divorce should not be underestimated. Through mediation, our clients recognize that it is important to focus on the benefits of improving their day-to-day lives instead of getting stuck on the reasons for staying put.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Dividing the Assets in Mediation

2/17/2023

You can still use divorce mediation even if you and your spouse have a big difference in income. In fact, this is a pretty common scenario for our clients at Westfield Mediation.

There are several possible reasons for a big difference in income. Sometimes, one spouse was the primary earner, while the other was the primary parent. In other cases, one spouse earned more than the other because of their field of employment, their work history or their job choices over time.

As part of our drafting a financial plan in divorce mediation, we go through the couple’s assets and debts to work out a fair way to divide them. Generally, the assets accrued during the marriage are considered both spouses’ property regardless of which party was the main breadwinner and regardless of whose name is on the account. Some couples in divorce mediation understand this concept right away and are prepared to work together on a plan for equitable distribution. For others, it is hard to wrap their heads around the idea that the monies that one partner earned while working are going to have to be divided and shared with the lower-earning spouse.

In divorce mediation, we work with clients to develop creative financial solutions. Part of the process may involve addressing one or both parties’ concerns that each spouse did not contribute evenly to the household’s financial needs. We find that addressing these emotions helps prepare clients for compromise. At the end of the day, everyone has to understand that the family’s assets and debts are jointly owned and will have to be shared. Rather than offering a forum to rehash old arguments, divorce mediation is future-oriented. We provide a place to create a fair plan for the equitable distribution of assets and debts that allows both spouses to move ahead with their lives.

For more information on financial plans and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Divorce Mediation for Small Business Owners

9/23/2022

Many of our divorce mediation clients at Westfield Mediation, LLC are small business owners or self-employed. Oftentimes, the business finances of these clients are intermingled with their personal finances. While this may make things a little tricky, it should not be seen as an obstacle to moving forward.

For example, these clients may have some credit cards or bank accounts that they use for work and some for home expenses. Or they may have used their family home as collateral for the business. So, when they are getting divorced, it takes a little time to figure out the value of their business and how to divide it, as well as what assets and debts go with the business and what belong to the family.

While it may seem overwhelming at first to make these distinctions, in divorce mediation, we break the process down into small manageable steps. We try to ensure that everyone is being open and transparent about their accounts. In some cases, mediation clients want to use an accountant who specializes in business valuations to provide an objective analysis of their business, and we provide them with a list of local specialists.

According the Courts, the division of assets and debts in divorce must be fair and equitable. We use this same standard when working in divorce mediation with small business owners or self-employed clients.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

QDRO AND RETIREMENT ACCOUNTS

2/11/2022

When you go through the divorce mediation process, you cover all the areas of your divorce agreement. You come up with a custody arrangement with your parenting plan. You figure out all the financials like who is keeping the house, what is happening with your joint credit cards and bank accounts, how are you dividing your retirement accounts, etc. You figure out if alimony, now known as spousal support, is a factor. And you calculate a child support payment. All of that is done within the process of mediation. And it is a lot to accomplish in four to six one-hour meetings.

But then there is the execution of these agreements that is done outside of mediation. You have to go to the bank and close/change the joint account. You have to call the credit card company. And so on and so on. One very important task is to file a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) if needed to divide your pension or retirement fund. This document will be filed with the court and becomes a court order that directs your retirement fund plan administrator to now direct funds to you and your ex-spouse, not just you, in accordance with your divorce agreement. You should always double check with your retirement plan administration to see if a QDRO is needed if you are dividing up any of a spouse’s retirement monies. The QDRO is a multi-step process and should be done by a professional to avoid any mistakes, which can be financially costly. In the mediation business you hear urban legends of the spouse who DIYed a QDRO and it cost them hundreds of thousands of dollars in taxes and penalties.

The mediators at Westfield Mediation, LCC, have helped hundreds of people successfully address their new futures. And while we do not help with the creation and filing of a QDRO, we can direct you to qualified people who do help. This is not a detail that you want done incorrectly or overlooked all together. While you can get a majority of the steps of your divorce resolved in divorce mediation with the support of your divorce mediator, there are some things that only you can do outside of mediation.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Moving Out During Divorce

1/28/2022

Generally, during the divorce process, at least one person moves out of the shared home. Sometimes both spouses agree to sell the house and move; and sometimes one stays while the other relocates. The upheaval that comes with changing one’s living space can be stressful at the best of times. These days with Covid concerns, there are also additional factors to consider including the tight real estate market and the fact that so many people are working from home. In divorce mediation, we anticipate these stressors, and help couples develop flexible, practical plans for going forward with their lives.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, a neutral mediator helps each couple work together on a plan for moving on. The spouse who is leaving needs a new home, possibly one that can serve as an at-home office and accommodate the children during his/her parenting time. If one person is staying and one leaving, we sometimes devise a plan for the parties to continue to own the home together for a designated period of time – e.g., a set number of years or perhaps until the kids finish high school. In addition, we make arrangements for getting the person who is leaving their share of the equity in the home so that they have the resources they need to find a new place to live.

We often counsel people that their first new home after leaving the marital residence may just be an interim stop. They may need some time for their schedules and finances to stabilize. At that point, they will be better situated to find a more suitable choice for the long-term. Indeed, this need for an interim housing plan may be even more common now when there are fewer homes available for rent or sale in some markets. For many people, recognizing in mediation that their first home post-divorce is not necessarily their last makes the move feel much less overwhelming.

For more information about housing plans or other aspects of divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Learning More about Your Family Finances Before Divorce Saves Time and Money

10/16/2020

As divorce mediators, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we have seen that in many families, married couples are reluctant to discuss money issues. Sometimes one person handles all the financial decisions, pays the taxes and the bills. In other homes, the spouses keep most of their expenses and accounts separate, and don’t really share information about their assets and liabilities.

Recently, the coronavirus has created shifts of income and expenses in many homes, inspiring articles about how both spouses need to learn more about their finances in case one partner gets sick and can’t work or pay the bills. We have found that these same concepts about the importance of shared financial knowledge apply to divorcing families as well. Moreover, for divorcing couples, sharing information eliminates any suspicion of hidden assets or debts which reduces stress and helps you work together to create a fair agreement.

In divorce mediation, we help divorcing couples make sense of their financial picture. As part of that process, we go through their financial statements together to create a workable equitable plan. In divorce mediation, we tell our clients that it’s important to know a few basic things about your financial situation before you get divorced.

First, where are the important documents? You should both have log-in information for all savings, investment, and retirement accounts. You will both need to know what is out there to make a fair division of your accounts and debts. Secondly, whose name is on the accounts, the mortgage, the car title, etc. Who is the beneficiary of all your investments and life insurance policies? In our experience, starting with some simple fact-gathering upfront makes the process much easier and productive for everyone, saving time and money, and minimizing arguments down the road.

For more information about financial plans in divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

What to do about the house When getting divorced

11/1/2019

When couples are considering getting divorced, one question that often causes great stress, is “where are they going to live after the divorce?” Generally, people are emotionally attached to their home, and worried about the impact of moving on both themselves and their children. In addition, for most people their house is both their biggest asset and their biggest expense, so coming up with a plan for selling it or keeping it has to factor into any future financial plan.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we always ask our divorce mediation clients to get a market valuation of their home from a realtor to determine how much equity they have in their house. We go over together how much they pay for their mortgage, property taxes, home owners’ insurance and other house maintenance. Then, we consider what would make the most sense financially, and for the emotional needs of the family.

Some options include selling the house, refinancing it in one spouse’s name or continuing to own the house together for a set period of time. Sometimes, divorcing couples are in a hurry to sell so that they have the cash they need to move forward. Other times, the couple wants to wait before selling so that they can fix up the house for maximum profits or just to adjust more slowly to the change in their circumstances. For some clients, rather than sell the house right away, the divorcing couple decides that one parent will remain in the home with the children until they finish high school or college. Such an approach may minimize the stress on the kids, by allowing them to stay in one familiar place.

In any case, the divorcing couple must decide how they will continue to pay for the house expenses, including the mortgage, taxes, home insurance, and potential repairs, until the house is sold or refinanced in one person’s name. The family also will need to allocate enough funds so that the parent who moves out can maintain his/her own separate household. Finally, the couple has to decide how they will divide the proceeds from the house once it is sold. At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we know that each family has its own specific financial and emotional needs, and through divorce mediation, we can help create a plan to fit them.

For more information about dividing assets in divorce mediation or divorce mediation in general, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

More About Divorce and Taxes

4/26/2019

While tax filing day has passed for this year, taxes are still an important issue for couples going through divorce. There have been some changes to the tax code this year that specifically affect divorcing couples. During divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we always talk about the tax implications of any financial agreement, and we encourage our clients to speak to their accountants as well.

The big change this year affected alimony (spousal support). Until 2019, the paying spouse got a tax deduction for alimony payments and the receiving spouse was taxed on the income. Starting this year, the rule reversed so the paying spouse is taxed on the income and the receiving spouse is not. As a result, a new calculation is needed to get to the same amount of alimony paid and received. Another tax change that impacts divorcing couples is the new cap on the deductions for mortgage interest. This policy change has made home ownership more expensive in New Jersey which also has to be considered when creating a financial plan for the future. Finally, the rules regarding tax exemptions for children was eliminated and replaced with a tax credit based on income, which may affect how much each spouse pays the IRS.

While each of the changes needs to be factored into a divorce agreement, in divorce mediation, we break the process down into small steps so it is not overwhelming to our clients. We recognize that getting divorced is an emotional process, and we help explain the money issues so that couples can create an agreement that works for their financial future.

For more information on financial plans or divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

THE VALUE OF A PENSION AND A 401(k) IN A DIVORCE

12/14/2018

A pension and a 401(k) are two different ways to save for retirement. A pension gives you a set income amount distributed each and every month no matter how long you live. A 401(k) has a certain amount of money in the fund and when all of the money is eventually distributed that income stream is gone. Most people today no longer have the option of a pension and the comfort of a never-ending monthly income and must budget their retirement with 401(k) funds. However, most teachers, police officers, and fire fighters can still rely on a pension for funding their retirement.

When you are getting a divorce, it is important to have your pension evaluated by an actuary. An actuary is a math whiz that uses statistics to determine insurance risks and premiums. An actuary can also use those math whiz skills to determine the marital value of your pension. Most people with a pension receive a personal benefit statement which shows how much the employee has contributed to the pension. This is not the value of the pension. The value of the pension has to be calculated using a formula which will show the current value of that future stream of income. Your future stream of income might be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars even though you have contributed $35,000 at this time. If you retire at 60 and then live to be 100, that’s 40 years of pension money. If you get $3,000/month from your pension then you get $1,440,000 from the pension. But what if you live until 70? Then you get a total of $360,000. The actuary can help predict how long you will live and come up with an estimated current value of that future money (which also gets adjusted for inflation). Sometimes some of the money for your retirement may be earned before or after your marriage. That money does not count as a marital asset. It is not a straightforward calculation- which is why you need the skills of an actuary.

A 401(k) and a pension are not always an even swap during a divorce. It is important to have your pension evaluated so you can fully understand the value of the asset you are keeping or giving up. At Westfield Mediation, LLC, our divorce mediators help our clients understand this often-misunderstood situation. We help clients look at their entire financial situation as a whole and fully understand each piece of it. We help both clients have a realistic view of their new financial futures and their retirement funds are a key piece of that picture.

For more information on pensions or divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

ASSESSING ALL OF THE ASSETS IN A DIVORCE

11/16/2018

One of the goals of divorce is to separate financially from one another. Sometimes you remain financially connected due to child support, expenses for the kids, college tuition, alimony, etc. But when going through a divorce you want to try to separate your financial entanglements as much as possible. You open up separate and individual bank accounts, you get individual instead of joint credit cards, you get your own car insurance. Sometimes in a divorce you divide joint assets, such as shares of stock or a pension, into separate accounts or you keep control entirely of one asset, such as a business.

You agree that once you are divorced and separate your assets into these individual accounts you have sole control over them. You manage when to sell your shares of stock and have no say over what your ex-spouse does with his/her shares after the divorce. If you kept all your investments with Bernie Madoff and your ex-spouse pulled all of his/her investments, then post-divorce you are bummed and poor and your ex-spouse is not. The same is said for a small business. If your spouse got 100% of the business in the divorce because you thought the business was not worth much, and then the business takes off, you cannot claim you are entitled to some of that success. Once you give up your claim to something, no backsies.

During divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we recommend that couples get all of their assets valued by outside, objective sources. You want to understand with hard facts what you are giving up and what you are keeping. Many times, people don’t want to go through the effort and expense of getting pensions or businesses evaluated. Instead they often ballpark what they think it is worth and then trade one asset for another. I’ll keep my pension and you keep your 401(k). However, if they got their pension evaluated, they would see that this is not an even swap. Or you may think your business is worth x but really it is worth y. You keep the business worth $100,000 (so you think) but really it would be valued at $25,000 by a forensic accountant doing a business valuation. So, in the divorce settlement you end up giving up too much of your entitlement to your spouse’s retirement funds so you can keep your business. In order for you to truly swap one asset for another you need to know the actual value of it all.

For more information on divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Authors

Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

Categories