Our Divorce Mediation Blog - Westfield Mediation, LLC

The Housing Market and Divorce Mediation

3/16/2023

Are higher mortgage interest rates a good reason to postpone getting divorced? We have been hearing from a lot of potential divorce mediation clients that they want to move forward with their lives but they are afraid that they won’t be able to sell their home and/or afford a new one since the mortgage rates are up from their pandemic lows.

Yet, while it is true that the housing market is somewhat unsettled right now, and interest rates are higher than they were over the past two years, it is important to keep in mind that from a historical perspective they are not that high. Still, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we understand that for most people, their home is their most significant asset, so these financial concerns are not unreasonable.
In divorce mediation, we work with divorcing couples to come up with a plan for selling or keeping the house in light of current economic conditions that takes the family’s needs into account and works for both parties now and into the future.

We also realize that there is always going to be some possible reason to delay taking action. As mediators, we find that it is common for people considering divorce to wonder at any time whether this is “the best time” to move forward. In reality, change is hard. There is never going to be a perfect time, and the future is always going to be unpredictable. What’s important to remember, is that for every obstacle that arises in this divorce process, there are workarounds. And that’s what we come up with in mediation. Plus, there are a lot of sound emotional reasons for moving forward. The relief and mental health value of moving ahead for couples considering divorce should not be underestimated. Through mediation, our clients recognize that it is important to focus on the benefits of improving their day-to-day lives instead of getting stuck on the reasons for staying put.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Dividing the Assets in Mediation

2/17/2023

You can still use divorce mediation even if you and your spouse have a big difference in income. In fact, this is a pretty common scenario for our clients at Westfield Mediation.

There are several possible reasons for a big difference in income. Sometimes, one spouse was the primary earner, while the other was the primary parent. In other cases, one spouse earned more than the other because of their field of employment, their work history or their job choices over time.

As part of our drafting a financial plan in divorce mediation, we go through the couple’s assets and debts to work out a fair way to divide them. Generally, the assets accrued during the marriage are considered both spouses’ property regardless of which party was the main breadwinner and regardless of whose name is on the account. Some couples in divorce mediation understand this concept right away and are prepared to work together on a plan for equitable distribution. For others, it is hard to wrap their heads around the idea that the monies that one partner earned while working are going to have to be divided and shared with the lower-earning spouse.

In divorce mediation, we work with clients to develop creative financial solutions. Part of the process may involve addressing one or both parties’ concerns that each spouse did not contribute evenly to the household’s financial needs. We find that addressing these emotions helps prepare clients for compromise. At the end of the day, everyone has to understand that the family’s assets and debts are jointly owned and will have to be shared. Rather than offering a forum to rehash old arguments, divorce mediation is future-oriented. We provide a place to create a fair plan for the equitable distribution of assets and debts that allows both spouses to move ahead with their lives.

For more information on financial plans and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

THE TOP FIVE QUESTIONS WE GET ASKED AS DIVORCE MEDIATORS:

10/7/2022

Here are the top five questions we get asked most often as a divorce mediator at Westfield Mediation, LLC:

1. How is a divorce mediator different from a divorce attorney? A distinct aspect of mediation versus litigation is that the mediator is neutral and does not support or oppose a client’s position on the issues. A divorce attorney acts as your legal advocate, informs you about the law and advises only you (and not your spouse) about what is in your best interests (which may be the opposite of what is in your spouse’s best interest).

2.  How can a divorce mediator be helpful if she is not acting in my best interest? I know some people are skeptical when they start the mediation process on how this will work. But it does; just read the reviews from past clients. Having a third-party present, who is neutral, points the discussions about the issues of your divorce in a whole new direction. Clients are comfortable making decisions, hearing how other clients have addressed an issue (like what are we doing with our house) and moving forward towards their new futures. The mediator does not allow them to have the same fight over and over again but redirects the conversation towards resolutions.

3.  How much is this going to cost? Mediation is a ginormous savings versus litigation. You pay one mediator, as opposed to two attorneys, a lower hourly fee. No retainer is required. You pay for the time that you use as you use it. Our clients spend about $2,500-$3,500 per divorce in mediation. That’s total, not per person.

4.  How long will this take? I too have heard the horror stories about it taking years and years to get divorced. In mediation it takes between four and six meetings in total. Meetings last one hour. Meetings are scheduled are your convenience. So, you could be done in six weeks or stretch it out if you so desire.

5.  Do I need still need a lawyer if we agreed on everything in mediation? The short answer is no, but the real answer is it is up to you. Legally, you are not required to have an attorney to get divorced. You can represent yourself in court. It is called being pro se. At Westfield Mediation, we recommend that you use a divorce attorney in a more limited role, called a review attorney. This review attorney will fill out all the paperwork for court, accompany you to court, advise you of your legal rights and answer any legal questions you may have. While it is not legally required to have an attorney, we think it is best practice to do so.

These are just the top five most frequently asked questions. Contemplating divorce brings up a lot of questions and you probably have more. You are welcome to reach out to Westfield Mediation to discuss them. Please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Divorce Mediation for Small Business Owners

9/23/2022

Many of our divorce mediation clients at Westfield Mediation, LLC are small business owners or self-employed. Oftentimes, the business finances of these clients are intermingled with their personal finances. While this may make things a little tricky, it should not be seen as an obstacle to moving forward.

For example, these clients may have some credit cards or bank accounts that they use for work and some for home expenses. Or they may have used their family home as collateral for the business. So, when they are getting divorced, it takes a little time to figure out the value of their business and how to divide it, as well as what assets and debts go with the business and what belong to the family.

While it may seem overwhelming at first to make these distinctions, in divorce mediation, we break the process down into small manageable steps. We try to ensure that everyone is being open and transparent about their accounts. In some cases, mediation clients want to use an accountant who specializes in business valuations to provide an objective analysis of their business, and we provide them with a list of local specialists.

According the Courts, the division of assets and debts in divorce must be fair and equitable. We use this same standard when working in divorce mediation with small business owners or self-employed clients.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

Divorce in the Current Economy

5/20/2022

The ups and downs of the current economy are making some couples contemplating divorce a little nervous. Divorce mediation involves dividing assets and debts, calculating child support and alimony and generally making financial plans for a new future. There will always be some level of financial uncertainty when taking steps toward divorce, but it should not keep you from moving forward. In divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we take current economic issues into account while helping to guide you toward a fair and equitable agreement.

Over the last few months, the stock market has been down, reducing the value of some retirement assets. These changes should not adversely impact the divorce mediation process. In mediation, we mostly focus on how we are dividing the assets rather than the account totals, so we can still move ahead with your plans.

Similarly, we can work around the uptick in the housing market. For many, the value of their marital home has increased in recent months, providing a bonus to divorcing couples seeking to sell or refinance their marital home, while making it harder in some cases to find a new place to live. These are also issues that can be addressed in mediation, while we make plans for your short-term and long-term financial futures.

Finally, the job market is also in flux, with minimum wages rising and employers offering various forms of work ranging from in-office to hybrid to fully remote. For many employees this has been a time of opportunity, while others are feeling stretched thin. These employment issues may impact the discussions involving child support and alimony in divorce mediation, but do not hinder your ability to move ahead.

Economic uncertainty is always going to exist in some form. The important thing is to address these concerns in divorce mediation and work together to factor them into your agreement. Finding solutions that work for both partners in mediation will allow you to move forward to a better, less stressful future.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Moving Out During Divorce

1/28/2022

Generally, during the divorce process, at least one person moves out of the shared home. Sometimes both spouses agree to sell the house and move; and sometimes one stays while the other relocates. The upheaval that comes with changing one’s living space can be stressful at the best of times. These days with Covid concerns, there are also additional factors to consider including the tight real estate market and the fact that so many people are working from home. In divorce mediation, we anticipate these stressors, and help couples develop flexible, practical plans for going forward with their lives.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, a neutral mediator helps each couple work together on a plan for moving on. The spouse who is leaving needs a new home, possibly one that can serve as an at-home office and accommodate the children during his/her parenting time. If one person is staying and one leaving, we sometimes devise a plan for the parties to continue to own the home together for a designated period of time – e.g., a set number of years or perhaps until the kids finish high school. In addition, we make arrangements for getting the person who is leaving their share of the equity in the home so that they have the resources they need to find a new place to live.

We often counsel people that their first new home after leaving the marital residence may just be an interim stop. They may need some time for their schedules and finances to stabilize. At that point, they will be better situated to find a more suitable choice for the long-term. Indeed, this need for an interim housing plan may be even more common now when there are fewer homes available for rent or sale in some markets. For many people, recognizing in mediation that their first home post-divorce is not necessarily their last makes the move feel much less overwhelming.

For more information about housing plans or other aspects of divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Divorce and Social Security

10/22/2021

With the rise of divorce among older married couples -- so-called “gray divorce”-- some couples going through divorce mediation have questions about Social Security income and how it factors into their financial agreement. Divorcing clients that are close to retirement age are wise to consider the options for this income stream as part of their financial futures.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC , we always explain to our clients that the rules regarding Social Security are complicated and often changing, so it is best to consult with the Social Security Administration and/or an elder law attorney before making any binding decisions.

Generally speaking, based on current rules, ex-spouses may elect to receive one-half of the amount of their ex-spouse’s Social Security instead of an amount based on their own work history, as long as the parties had been married for at least ten years. The claiming ex-spouse must be at least 62 years old and not remarried. In addition, the benefit the claiming ex-spouse would receive based on his/her ex-spouse’s work history must be more than the amount that the claiming ex-spouse would receive from his/her own work history. The earliest ex-spouses could claim these benefits is age 62, and the latest is at age 70 years. (Clients over a certain age may be entitled to receive their ex-spouse’s benefit at age 62 and their own benefit at age 70). It is important to note that claims by ex-spouses do not reduce the amount of the earner’s own Social Security benefit.

To figure out when would be the best time to claim these benefits, divorced clients must consider their personal financial circumstances and health conditions. In divorce mediation, we discuss the options with our clients once they have had an opportunity to learn about the specific possibilities available to them by gathering information from outside resources. By addressing these important income issues in mediation, we reduce our clients’ stress and better prepare them for the days ahead.

For more information about financial agreements and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

College, Covid, and Costs

5/14/2021

In New Jersey, including provisions for paying for the kids’ college has become a standard part of the parenting plan in divorce mediation agreements. Adding the realities of Covid 19 and the recent changes to the financial aid rules to the mix have made the decision-making process a little more complicated.

In our state, the courts have long viewed post-high school education as a necessity for which parents are at least partially responsible. Therefore, it should be part of every New Jerseyan’s parenting plan in their divorce agreement. As tempting as it may be, ignoring this issue now will not make the obligation to contribute to your kids’ education just go away. In fact, if you do not address college as part of your divorce agreement, you risk the Court later imposing its own plan on your family based on your children’s needs and goals and both parents’ resources. So, if you say nothing in your divorce agreement, you may end up paying more later than the plan you could develop now during the divorce process.

Over the past year and a half, the pandemic has made the process of selecting a college more challenging. In many cases, because of travel restrictions, students have had to choose where to attend based solely on virtual tours and information. Many school programs have been remote and/or hybrid, meaning students had to pay for school, yet live elsewhere. Now some schools are requiring vaccinations prior to entry, while others are offering financial incentives to those who vaccinate. Divorcing parents need to work together with their children through this potentially fraught decision-making process.

In addition, recently revised rules on the financial aid process have changed the way income and support are applied in financial aid applications. Moreover, the rules on student loan forgiveness are also in flux.

As part of the divorce mediation process, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help divorcing couples come up with a plan for choosing and paying for college for their kids regardless of how old their kids are now. We talk about all the relevant factors – programs, costs, decision-making, college savings plans and applying for financial aid. When needed, we can provide referrals to college financial aid advisors who can help parents complete their children’s forms in a way that maximizes college support packages.

Of course, when your kids are young, it can be hard to predict your children’s future educational needs and wants. Still, we have found that having a basic framework in place helps avoid big arguments and litigation expenses down the road.

For more information about parenting plans and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

The American Rescue Plan Act and Child Support

3/19/2021

Even in the divorce mediation world, everyone is talking about the new law just passed by Congress – the American Rescue Plan Act of 2021 (ARP). It promises new and increased cash payments to many Americans. One part of the law includes more generous tax credits for children; and this new payment structure may have an impact on child support for divorced and divorcing parents.

Previously, depending on their income, parents received a tax credit of up to $2,000 per child. Under the ARP, this potential tax credit increases to $3,000 per child and $3,600 for children under 6 starting in 2021. In addition, the IRS plans to estimate the amount of the child tax credits for the year for families and pay them out in monthly portions in advance beginning in July 2021. These increased tax credits may impact child support calculations going forward.

Calculating child support is part of the divorce mediation process at Westfield Mediation, LLC. We calculate child support based on income and the number of nights each parent spends with the children, while also taking into account the payments parents make for health insurance premiums and/or child care. As part of the child support calculation, we determine which parent will be claiming the children as dependents for tax purposes. Sometimes, parents share these tax credits or alternate them over time. For our clients, we often run these numbers a few different ways to help them decide what is the best plan for them.

Divorced and divorcing parents may need to consult with their accountants to understand the impact of the new ARP laws on their taxes. In divorce mediation, we advise our clients to seek out the most up to date information available to help them make the best financial decisions for their family.

For more information on divorce mediation, parenting plans and child support, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

TAXES AND DIVORCE- NOT A DIY PROJECT

3/5/2021

Many people use TurboTax or a do-it-yourself approach to doing their yearly taxes. This works out fine and people are happy with the results and continue this method year after year. But this system does not always work as well the year of your divorce. There are unique tax circumstances you need to consider the actual year you are getting divorced and longer-term tax consequences as a result of your divorce agreement.

There are specific tax-related issues to consider about your divorce and you can address all of them during the divorce mediation process. Who is claiming the children for tax purposes? This may have an impact on your tax bill. Should the lower earner always claim the kids? Alternate years? It may also have a small effect on the monthly child support amounts. And the timing of your divorce can affect your tax bill. If it is close to the end of the calendar year then you may want to wait until the following year to actually get divorced. It may not matter to you much if your divorce is finalized in late December or early January, but it does to your state and federal government and the subsequent tax bill.

While the divorce mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, are not accountants or tax experts, they are knowledgeable enough to know that these professionals should be a part of your divorce team before signing a final divorce agreement. The mediators have a list of mediation friendly tax experts in the area to pass along to our clients and always recommend that you have a tax expert review your agreement. For example, when allocating various retirement accounts in a divorce settlement, it is important to distinguish the difference between one account that has pre-tax money and will have taxes taken out during distribution and another account that has post-tax money contribution and will not have taxes taken out when it is time for distribution. At the time of your divorce the accounts may have equivalent values so you think you are dividing things equally, like you intended. But when you retire, one of you has a lot less money because Uncle Sam takes a chunk and the other still has the full value of the account that you thought it had.

These are things that the turbo tax program will not tell you, but a mediator will. It is ultimately up to you, with input from your tax expert, to make these decisions. However, the mediator can help you figure out what these tax issues may be and work with you to reach educated, informed decisions about your taxes now and for the future.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Authors

Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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