Our Divorce Mediation Blog - Westfield Mediation, LLC

The American Rescue Plan Act and Child Support

3/19/2021

Even in the divorce mediation world, everyone is talking about the new law just passed by Congress – the American Rescue Plan Act of 2021 (ARP). It promises new and increased cash payments to many Americans. One part of the law includes more generous tax credits for children; and this new payment structure may have an impact on child support for divorced and divorcing parents.

Previously, depending on their income, parents received a tax credit of up to $2,000 per child. Under the ARP, this potential tax credit increases to $3,000 per child and $3,600 for children under 6 starting in 2021. In addition, the IRS plans to estimate the amount of the child tax credits for the year for families and pay them out in monthly portions in advance beginning in July 2021. These increased tax credits may impact child support calculations going forward.

Calculating child support is part of the divorce mediation process at Westfield Mediation, LLC. We calculate child support based on income and the number of nights each parent spends with the children, while also taking into account the payments parents make for health insurance premiums and/or child care. As part of the child support calculation, we determine which parent will be claiming the children as dependents for tax purposes. Sometimes, parents share these tax credits or alternate them over time. For our clients, we often run these numbers a few different ways to help them decide what is the best plan for them.

Divorced and divorcing parents may need to consult with their accountants to understand the impact of the new ARP laws on their taxes. In divorce mediation, we advise our clients to seek out the most up to date information available to help them make the best financial decisions for their family.

For more information on divorce mediation, parenting plans and child support, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

Divorce and Snow Days

2/19/2021

As children growing up, we loved snow days and the gift of a day off from school. Still, all the snow we have been having over the past few weeks has made me think of how challenging these schedule changes can be for divorcing parents. Divorcing parents have to create provisions in their parenting agreements to deal with unexpected occurrences – such as snow days.

In divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help divorcing parents craft agreements for their children’s regular and holiday schedules. We also include contingency plans for unpredictable events like snow days, sick days or emergencies.

In addition, to make everything run more smoothly, we address issues like the preferred means of communication between parent -- be it text, email or phone. Also, we add in provisions so that the children can reach out on their own to the parent who is not on duty in a reasonable way. We usually suggest shared calendars for the kids’ activities to ensure that everyone knows who has to be where and when. We find these tools go a long way towards easing conflicts. In general, by encouraging divorcing parents to work together on a parenting plan we hope to facilitate their ability to co-parent effectively once they are no longer married. We find that including all of these topics in the parenting blue print in the beginning of the process minimizes opportunities for arguments and confusion later on.

For more information on divorce mediation and parenting plans, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

Thanksgiving, Christmas, Divorce and Coronavirus

11/13/2020

The holiday season is often a difficult time for newly divorced or divorcing families. For some families, this may be the first year that parents are spending Thanksgiving or Christmas apart from their spouses and children. Adding Covid-19 to the mix makes everything even more complicated, because celebrations will likely be smaller this year with fewer big family gatherings and minimal travel. Regardless of the limitations of divorce and Covid, everyone wants to find safe and festive ways to keep some of their traditions going and enjoy these special days.

In divorce mediation, we help divorcing couples prepare for this time of year by making holiday arrangements in advance. This preparation minimizes disputes down the road because everyone knows who will have the kids each year on all the major holidays. Moreover, the parent who is not with the kids has enough prior notice to make alternate plans so that he/she does not feel left out of the fun. To make the most of the season, we often recommend that parents maintain some of their usual traditions so kids feel comforted, while also introducing new fun activities to demonstrate that change can be positive as well.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we also help our divorce mediation clients address the issues that have arisen with Covid-19. Specifically, parents often need to work out together how their kids are going to interact with other friends and family in a safe way. By working together in mediation to create a plan, divorcing parents can establish the ground rules for this time of year which makes everyone less anxious about the season.

For more information about parenting plans in divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Child Support and Coronavirus

7/24/2020

With all the layoffs, furloughs and unemployment accompanying the Covid-19 pandemic, many divorced couples are wondering how this impacts child support obligations. Are existing child support orders still enforceable? Can you change them if your employment situation is up in the air?

Generally speaking, the Courts hold that child support must still be paid even if the payers lose their jobs. However, parents can go to Court to modify existing orders. At the proceedings, they must be able to show a substantial change of circumstances. Specifically, the person seeking the change has to prove that the change in the parties’ financial situations is both substantial and continuing, in other words, not just a temporary setback.

Of course, the Court processes used to make these changes move slowly, especially now with the Covid-19 delays clogging the system. At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we suggest to our post-divorce mediation clients that they can work out an interim arrangement between themselves while they wait to make it official. Similarly, if your child support plan was based on your child living away at college, and now he/she is living at home, you can work together to create a plan in mediation to account for your differing expenses in the short term. Divorce mediation and post-divorce mediation can be done relatively quickly allowing you to make the adjustments together now that will take longer to process in Court.

For more information about divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Parenting and Non-disparagement clauses

5/29/2020

Can you limit what your ex-spouse says about you to your kids? Yes and no.

When crafting a parenting plan in divorce mediation, we generally include a clause stating that neither parent can say negative things about the other in front of the children. These provisions are called non-disparagement clauses and their purpose is to protect the kids from being exposed to and upset by their parents’ anger. The Courts require that child custody arrangements must be in the best interest of the children; and studies have shown that living in conflict has a negative effect on kids.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, most clients agree to this clause; and the Courts have held that voluntary-agreed-to provisions like this can be enforceable. Still, clients cannot be too restrictive in the kinds of limits that they put on their ex-spouse’s ability to speak about them. For example, the Courts have found that strict rules that prevent parents from posting specific statements on social media about their ex-spouse may not be enforceable. Such prior restraints on speech are not allowed under the Constitution’s First Amendment protections.

In divorce mediation, we work with divorcing parents to create a parenting plan that works for them and keeps the kids’ interests in mind. By including voluntary non-disparagement clauses in our agreements, we remind parents that part of their role as parents is modeling good, civil behavior for their kids and minimizing their exposure to anger and conflict.

For more information about parenting plans and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Paying for College

2/7/2020

When divorcing clients come to mediation to work out a parenting plan, they are often surprised that the agreement for paying for their children’s expenses extends all the way through college.

In New Jersey, the courts have long viewed post high school education as a necessity for which parents are at least partially responsible. Therefore, it needs to be part of every divorcing couple’s parenting plan. As tempting as it may be, ignoring this issue now will not make the obligation to contribute to your kids’ education go away. In fact, if you do not address college as part of your divorce agreement, the court may later impose its own plan based on your children’s needs and goals and both parents’ resources.

As part of the divorce mediation process, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help divorcing couples come up with a plan for paying for college for their kids regardless of how old their kids are now. We talk about all the relevant factors -- costs, decision-making, college savings plans and applying for financial aid. Of course, it is hard to predict your children’s future educational needs and wants. Still, we have found that having a basic framework in place helps avoid big arguments and litigation expenses down the road.

For more information about parenting plans and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Parenting Plans and Moving within the state

10/16/2019

One of the sticky questions that arises when creating a parenting plan in divorce mediation is what happens to the family’s parenting plan if one parent wants to move – in state or out of state -- and the other parent does not agree with the move?

Since 2017, the Court has said that the parent who wants to move out of state has to show that his/her plan is in the best interests of the children. Now, in a case that was decided on October 7, 2019, the NJ Appellate Court said that the standard for an out of state move would also be applied to an in-state move. According to the case, if the parent of primary residence wants to move and the other parent objects, the objecting parent has to show that the best interests of the children are affected. Once this is shown, the Court considers several factors including family relationships, the age and education of the children, the parents’ employment, and the amount of time spent with each parent, etc. – to determine whether to allow the move and whether to make any adjustments to the established custody plan and parenting time. Essentially, this new decision raises the standard for divorced parents moving within the state to the same high standard applied to moves out of state.

For our divorce mediation clients at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we always recommend that our clients include a provision in their agreement on how to address moving. If the parents cannot agree on a move, they generally have to go to court to address their concerns. With this new case, they will have to show that a move in state or out, is in their children’s best interests.

For more information on parenting plans or divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

A NEW SCHOOL YEAR...AT WHAT SCHOOL?

9/6/2019

So long summer. A new school year is upon us and your kids are now back to school. Some kids are starting at a new school because they have graduated either from elementary to middle or middle to high school. It is the natural order of things. Other kids may be starting new schools because their family moved to a new town. And still some other kids are starting new schools because their parents are getting divorced. Sometimes when parents get divorced both parents end up moving to new towns. How do they decide what school system their children should attend? Their previous public school is not an option anymore because neither parent resides in that town. What if private school or magnet school needs to be considered?

This is a topic that is addressed during the process of divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC. Our divorce mediators help a couple figure out what is in the best interest of the children. Often times one parent plans to stay in the same town and not move. This allows the children some continuity of attending the same school. But then what if that parent moves in the future. How do parents decide what new school would be the best fit for their children? If parents can address this issue during mediation then there is no need to return to court to decide- as I am sure some parents hastily did this past summer and particularly this past week.

Parents can be perplexed when this issue is brought up because they think they have a current plan in place that will continue to work until the kids graduate high school. However, it is impossible to predict the future. So sometimes, well intended plans take a left turn into the unknown. But it is not unknown if it is already in your divorce agreement. A good divorce mediator will help you plan for the plan that you never thought you'd need.

For more information on divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

summer vacations

8/23/2019

Now is often the time for summer vacations, and during divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we always ask clients about how they want to include family vacations in their post-divorce parenting plan. Of course, vacations need not be a big expensive trip away – sometimes they just involve an opportunity for each parent to have some extended time with the kids.

Generally, divorcing parents want to keep some of the same plans that they have had before they were divorced. So, for example, if they usually take a week with the kids down the shore, or attend an Independence Day barbecue with family, they want to keep that consistency. In mediation, we suggest that divorcing parents make their vacation plans a few months before summer begins to give both parents time and notice, and we put safeguards in their agreement so that there are no disputes about who gets which week for his/her plan.

Sometimes, when clients have long-term traditions of spending time with family or family friends over the summer, it can be difficult to decide whether and how to alter these traditions. Can you both still go? Do you need to alternate years? Do you need to come up with a totally different plan, so no one feels left out? By addressing these issues in divorce mediation, we work to resolve them sooner rather than later to minimize future disagreements. With productive, early communication, both you and your children can have a fun-filled summer.

For more information on parenting plans or divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Explaining Child Support

7/26/2019

During divorce mediation, divorcing parents are often confused by child support. How is it calculated? What is included? Can it change over time? Dealing with the uncertainty of how much each parent is going to pay to support their kids makes people anxious. By explaining child support to our divorce mediation clients at Westfield Mediation, LLC., we try to take some of the stress out of the divorce process.

Generally speaking, the state has a formula for calculating child support based on the parents’ incomes and the amount of time each parent spends with the children. Child support is designed to cover children’s day to day expenses of food, shelter, transportation, entertainment, clothing, etc. Additional costs like child care and health insurance are also factored into the equation.

Some special expenses are not included in the state’s formula and have to be addressed separately. These special expenses include things such as private school, college education, some extra-curricular activities’ expenses, and big celebrations like bar/bat mitzvahs, confirmations and Sweet Sixteens. Moreover, higher earners may find that the state child support guidelines cannot be applied to them. In those cases, parents determine their child support responsibilities based on a budget of their children’s actual expenses.

The Courts require divorced parents to pay child support until their children are emancipated – usually once the kid graduates from college, joins the military, gets married or begins working full-time. Child support can and should be recalculated on a regular basis. So, if one or both of the parents’ incomes goes down, they can seek to reduce their financial responsibility. The opposite is also true -- if the divorced parents’ incomes go up, or the children’s needs increase, the amount can be revised upward to account for these changes. Once our divorce mediation clients understand how child support works, they often feel more comfortable moving forward.

For more information on child support or divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.