Our Divorce Mediation Blog - Westfield Mediation, LLC

New School Year, Covid and Divorce

8/20/2021

With summer winding down and the new school year starting soon, this may be a good time for divorced or divorcing couples to evaluate their current parenting and financial plans. Unfortunately, the coronavirus is still a factor, which may impact family decision-making for the foreseeable future. In divorce mediation, we help divorcing couples create flexible parenting and financial plans to guide them through this process of dealing with changing schedules and options. And in some cases, when new issues arise, clients come back to mediation to address them and work together to ensure that they are on the same page.

In some families, kids are returning to school for the first time in many months. This transition may impact the parenting plan. In addition to the usual concerns of getting the children to school on time and accounting for their afterschool time, in divorce mediation, we now have new things to consider like vaccines and masking. Separated and divorced parents must also decide together what activities they are comfortable having their kids participate in and whether there should be any limitations on socializing and travel.

In addition, many businesses are opening up their offices this September with some companies requiring workers to return at least part-time. This development affects parenting plans and creates new child care needs because of the increased amount of time parents are spending outside of home at work and commuting. Moreover, the rebooting economy has impacted employment opportunities and upended the housing market which impacts divorcing couple’s financial decisions regarding assets, debts and support.

At Westfield Mediation, we work with divorcing and divorced couples to help you come to resolution on all of these issues in a less stressful way. By guiding you through this process, we make a potentially difficult time of the year much more manageable.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

As Covid Fades, New Parenting Issues Arise

6/18/2021

As we start resuming normal life activities with the reduction of cases of Covid-19 in the US (yay!), the mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, are helping divorced or divorcing parents deal with new issues in mediation.

First, parents will have to decide whether and when to vaccinate their children. In addition, a whole bunch of other questions have cropped up: What’s the family policy on mask-wearing? Who can the kids play with or visit? Can plans be made for inside gatherings or just outside ones? Should the children return to in-person camp or school? Should the children be allowed to travel – either in the US or abroad?

Generally, it is simpler for the children if both parents adopt a consistent approach. Moreover, it is best for parents to discuss these issues ahead of time to avoid any confusion or unnecessary battles.

In divorce mediation, we work with divorcing parents to address all of the issues that arise with child-rearing including health, education, activities and travel. We break the process into small steps to make it more manageable and less stressful for everyone. In addition to drafting parenting and holiday schedules, we also incorporate plans for decision-making and for covering all child-related expenses.

Our plans are both comprehensive and flexible. As a result, in mediation, we provide our clients with a framework for moving forward, so that when new unforeseen circumstances emerge, like those that came with the pandemic, parents are better equipped to work together to create a plan.

For more information about parenting plans and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

College, Covid, and Costs

5/14/2021

In New Jersey, including provisions for paying for the kids’ college has become a standard part of the parenting plan in divorce mediation agreements. Adding the realities of Covid 19 and the recent changes to the financial aid rules to the mix have made the decision-making process a little more complicated.

In our state, the courts have long viewed post-high school education as a necessity for which parents are at least partially responsible. Therefore, it should be part of every New Jerseyan’s parenting plan in their divorce agreement. As tempting as it may be, ignoring this issue now will not make the obligation to contribute to your kids’ education just go away. In fact, if you do not address college as part of your divorce agreement, you risk the Court later imposing its own plan on your family based on your children’s needs and goals and both parents’ resources. So, if you say nothing in your divorce agreement, you may end up paying more later than the plan you could develop now during the divorce process.

Over the past year and a half, the pandemic has made the process of selecting a college more challenging. In many cases, because of travel restrictions, students have had to choose where to attend based solely on virtual tours and information. Many school programs have been remote and/or hybrid, meaning students had to pay for school, yet live elsewhere. Now some schools are requiring vaccinations prior to entry, while others are offering financial incentives to those who vaccinate. Divorcing parents need to work together with their children through this potentially fraught decision-making process.

In addition, recently revised rules on the financial aid process have changed the way income and support are applied in financial aid applications. Moreover, the rules on student loan forgiveness are also in flux.

As part of the divorce mediation process, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help divorcing couples come up with a plan for choosing and paying for college for their kids regardless of how old their kids are now. We talk about all the relevant factors – programs, costs, decision-making, college savings plans and applying for financial aid. When needed, we can provide referrals to college financial aid advisors who can help parents complete their children’s forms in a way that maximizes college support packages.

Of course, when your kids are young, it can be hard to predict your children’s future educational needs and wants. Still, we have found that having a basic framework in place helps avoid big arguments and litigation expenses down the road.

For more information about parenting plans and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

AUTISM ACCEPTANCE MONTH AND DIVORCE MEDIATION

4/30/2021

The Autism Society of America is formally shifting references to April as “Autism Awareness Month” to “Autism Acceptance Month”. In honor of Autism Acceptance Month this week’s blog is about divorce agreements when your child or children are on the spectrum.

Special considerations need to be made when creating a divorce agreement for a family with a child diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. First, we address the actual day-to-day parenting plan. How can you both provide consistency in care and schedule when you will now be living in two separate homes. Will siblings follow the same schedule? How will you help your child handle the transition from one home to another? How can you trust that the other parent is following through with existing routines or therapies? Establishing good communication with your co-parent will help ensure this continuity for your child/children. Co-parents who used divorce mediation to develop their divorce agreement tend to have stronger, more amicable and consistent communication skills post-divorce. They have practiced communicating directly with one another about difficult topics throughout the course of divorce mediation. A sense of trust is built that you are on the same page regarding the children. And you can continue to build upon the base of the positive co-parent relationship that was established during the divorce mediation process.

Another major area to address is finances. Children on the Autism Spectrum tend to have many additional expenses compared to their neuro-typical siblings. For example, they may have co-pays or fees for therapies, counseling, vitamins or special diet food that is not covered by insurance. Child support does not include these expenses and they can add up quickly since they are reoccurring each month. During mediation you and your co-parent can develop a realistic plan to make sure that these extra costs are covered.

A third major area to address is a plan to care for your child physically and financially beyond the age of 18. This need may vary from family to family, depending on the abilities of your child. Does a special needs trust need to be established? Is alternate housing needed? What supports will be needed and who will provide them?

The mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, are equipped to help you tackle all the extra issues that need to be addressed in your divorce agreement when a child with a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder is involved.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Using a Mediator without getting Divorced

4/16/2021

You do not need to be interested in getting divorced to make good use of our mediation services. At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we also help clients who want to separate without getting divorced develop plans for moving forward. In addition, we work with unmarried parents to create parenting and financial plans for taking care of their kids.

While New Jersey does not have an official status of legally separated, some married couples want to start living separate lives without ending their marriage. The reasons vary. Sometimes, couples want to try out a separation plan to see whether they should reconcile or get divorced. Some spouses want to stay married, but live separately to retain some of the benefits of marriage, like health insurance, tax benefits, or the ability to make emergency healthcare decisions for their spouse without filing any proxy forms. Emotional or religious considerations may also influence these decisions. Whatever the reason, we can work with you to create a plan for living separately that you both agree to follow without the finality of getting divorced.

Similarly, sometimes unmarried parents want to create a parenting plan or financial plan. In mediation, we can work with these clients to develop an agreement on parenting schedules and decision-making for the children, covering all issues from holidays to education to religious upbringing to extra-curricular activities. We also work out the financial aspects of parenting, including child support, health insurance, paying for college etc.

We have found that many issues that we address in divorce mediation can be applied to clients with other family situations, and we are here to help.

For more information on divorce mediation or mediation without divorce or parenting plans and child support, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

The American Rescue Plan Act and Child Support

3/19/2021

Even in the divorce mediation world, everyone is talking about the new law just passed by Congress – the American Rescue Plan Act of 2021 (ARP). It promises new and increased cash payments to many Americans. One part of the law includes more generous tax credits for children; and this new payment structure may have an impact on child support for divorced and divorcing parents.

Previously, depending on their income, parents received a tax credit of up to $2,000 per child. Under the ARP, this potential tax credit increases to $3,000 per child and $3,600 for children under 6 starting in 2021. In addition, the IRS plans to estimate the amount of the child tax credits for the year for families and pay them out in monthly portions in advance beginning in July 2021. These increased tax credits may impact child support calculations going forward.

Calculating child support is part of the divorce mediation process at Westfield Mediation, LLC. We calculate child support based on income and the number of nights each parent spends with the children, while also taking into account the payments parents make for health insurance premiums and/or child care. As part of the child support calculation, we determine which parent will be claiming the children as dependents for tax purposes. Sometimes, parents share these tax credits or alternate them over time. For our clients, we often run these numbers a few different ways to help them decide what is the best plan for them.

Divorced and divorcing parents may need to consult with their accountants to understand the impact of the new ARP laws on their taxes. In divorce mediation, we advise our clients to seek out the most up to date information available to help them make the best financial decisions for their family.

For more information on divorce mediation, parenting plans and child support, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

Divorce and Snow Days

2/19/2021

As children growing up, we loved snow days and the gift of a day off from school. Still, all the snow we have been having over the past few weeks has made me think of how challenging these schedule changes can be for divorcing parents. Divorcing parents have to create provisions in their parenting agreements to deal with unexpected occurrences – such as snow days.

In divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help divorcing parents craft agreements for their children’s regular and holiday schedules. We also include contingency plans for unpredictable events like snow days, sick days or emergencies.

In addition, to make everything run more smoothly, we address issues like the preferred means of communication between parent -- be it text, email or phone. Also, we add in provisions so that the children can reach out on their own to the parent who is not on duty in a reasonable way. We usually suggest shared calendars for the kids’ activities to ensure that everyone knows who has to be where and when. We find these tools go a long way towards easing conflicts. In general, by encouraging divorcing parents to work together on a parenting plan we hope to facilitate their ability to co-parent effectively once they are no longer married. We find that including all of these topics in the parenting blue print in the beginning of the process minimizes opportunities for arguments and confusion later on.

For more information on divorce mediation and parenting plans, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

Thanksgiving, Christmas, Divorce and Coronavirus

11/13/2020

The holiday season is often a difficult time for newly divorced or divorcing families. For some families, this may be the first year that parents are spending Thanksgiving or Christmas apart from their spouses and children. Adding Covid-19 to the mix makes everything even more complicated, because celebrations will likely be smaller this year with fewer big family gatherings and minimal travel. Regardless of the limitations of divorce and Covid, everyone wants to find safe and festive ways to keep some of their traditions going and enjoy these special days.

In divorce mediation, we help divorcing couples prepare for this time of year by making holiday arrangements in advance. This preparation minimizes disputes down the road because everyone knows who will have the kids each year on all the major holidays. Moreover, the parent who is not with the kids has enough prior notice to make alternate plans so that he/she does not feel left out of the fun. To make the most of the season, we often recommend that parents maintain some of their usual traditions so kids feel comforted, while also introducing new fun activities to demonstrate that change can be positive as well.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we also help our divorce mediation clients address the issues that have arisen with Covid-19. Specifically, parents often need to work out together how their kids are going to interact with other friends and family in a safe way. By working together in mediation to create a plan, divorcing parents can establish the ground rules for this time of year which makes everyone less anxious about the season.

For more information about parenting plans in divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Child Support and Coronavirus

7/24/2020

With all the layoffs, furloughs and unemployment accompanying the Covid-19 pandemic, many divorced couples are wondering how this impacts child support obligations. Are existing child support orders still enforceable? Can you change them if your employment situation is up in the air?

Generally speaking, the Courts hold that child support must still be paid even if the payers lose their jobs. However, parents can go to Court to modify existing orders. At the proceedings, they must be able to show a substantial change of circumstances. Specifically, the person seeking the change has to prove that the change in the parties’ financial situations is both substantial and continuing, in other words, not just a temporary setback.

Of course, the Court processes used to make these changes move slowly, especially now with the Covid-19 delays clogging the system. At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we suggest to our post-divorce mediation clients that they can work out an interim arrangement between themselves while they wait to make it official. Similarly, if your child support plan was based on your child living away at college, and now he/she is living at home, you can work together to create a plan in mediation to account for your differing expenses in the short term. Divorce mediation and post-divorce mediation can be done relatively quickly allowing you to make the adjustments together now that will take longer to process in Court.

For more information about divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Parenting and Non-disparagement clauses

5/29/2020

Can you limit what your ex-spouse says about you to your kids? Yes and no.

When crafting a parenting plan in divorce mediation, we generally include a clause stating that neither parent can say negative things about the other in front of the children. These provisions are called non-disparagement clauses and their purpose is to protect the kids from being exposed to and upset by their parents’ anger. The Courts require that child custody arrangements must be in the best interest of the children; and studies have shown that living in conflict has a negative effect on kids.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, most clients agree to this clause; and the Courts have held that voluntary-agreed-to provisions like this can be enforceable. Still, clients cannot be too restrictive in the kinds of limits that they put on their ex-spouse’s ability to speak about them. For example, the Courts have found that strict rules that prevent parents from posting specific statements on social media about their ex-spouse may not be enforceable. Such prior restraints on speech are not allowed under the Constitution’s First Amendment protections.

In divorce mediation, we work with divorcing parents to create a parenting plan that works for them and keeps the kids’ interests in mind. By including voluntary non-disparagement clauses in our agreements, we remind parents that part of their role as parents is modeling good, civil behavior for their kids and minimizing their exposure to anger and conflict.

For more information about parenting plans and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Authors

Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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