Our Divorce Mediation Blog - Westfield Mediation, LLC

How Long Does Divorce Mediation Take?

9/24/2021

When prospective clients call, they often ask how long the divorce mediation process takes. The simple answer is easy – usually clients attend 4-6 one-hour sessions, generally 2 weeks apart, so you may be done in 8 -12 weeks. We can even meet weekly if you are in a hurry. The gaps between appointments provide clients the time they need to gather information and/or think about the issues and the options.

While the majority of our clients at Westfield Mediation, LLC, do wind up following this path, for others, the process takes longer. Some clients prefer to spread out the intervals between appointments for budgetary reasons. Mediation is pay-as-you-go, which is different from litigation where a lawyer requires an upfront retainer fee of several thousand dollars, so clients set up the meetings in a way that works for their particular financial situation. For others, they want to try out living their new parenting plan before committing to it in Court. And sometimes people want to get in a more settled financial place – either with their jobs or their new living arrangements before they move forward.

Even when clients finish mediation, they don’t all choose to get divorced right away. Sometimes people finish most of the process, and then take months away from mediation to be sure, or because other issues have arisen in their lives that they need to deal with first. In other cases, people wrap up, but then decide not to get divorced until months or years later. In these situations, clients often call us to update their documents one last time before filing.

So, the real answer to the question “how long does the process take?”, is that it is up to you. We can move as quickly or as slowly as you want. In divorce mediation, unlike divorce litigation where the Court sets the calendar, you can proceed on your own timetable. This is one of the many reasons that divorce mediation is a less stressful alternative to litigation.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

New School Year, Covid and Divorce

8/20/2021

With summer winding down and the new school year starting soon, this may be a good time for divorced or divorcing couples to evaluate their current parenting and financial plans. Unfortunately, the coronavirus is still a factor, which may impact family decision-making for the foreseeable future. In divorce mediation, we help divorcing couples create flexible parenting and financial plans to guide them through this process of dealing with changing schedules and options. And in some cases, when new issues arise, clients come back to mediation to address them and work together to ensure that they are on the same page.

In some families, kids are returning to school for the first time in many months. This transition may impact the parenting plan. In addition to the usual concerns of getting the children to school on time and accounting for their afterschool time, in divorce mediation, we now have new things to consider like vaccines and masking. Separated and divorced parents must also decide together what activities they are comfortable having their kids participate in and whether there should be any limitations on socializing and travel.

In addition, many businesses are opening up their offices this September with some companies requiring workers to return at least part-time. This development affects parenting plans and creates new child care needs because of the increased amount of time parents are spending outside of home at work and commuting. Moreover, the rebooting economy has impacted employment opportunities and upended the housing market which impacts divorcing couple’s financial decisions regarding assets, debts and support.

At Westfield Mediation, we work with divorcing and divorced couples to help you come to resolution on all of these issues in a less stressful way. By guiding you through this process, we make a potentially difficult time of the year much more manageable.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

As Covid Fades, New Parenting Issues Arise

6/18/2021

As we start resuming normal life activities with the reduction of cases of Covid-19 in the US (yay!), the mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, are helping divorced or divorcing parents deal with new issues in mediation.

First, parents will have to decide whether and when to vaccinate their children. In addition, a whole bunch of other questions have cropped up: What’s the family policy on mask-wearing? Who can the kids play with or visit? Can plans be made for inside gatherings or just outside ones? Should the children return to in-person camp or school? Should the children be allowed to travel – either in the US or abroad?

Generally, it is simpler for the children if both parents adopt a consistent approach. Moreover, it is best for parents to discuss these issues ahead of time to avoid any confusion or unnecessary battles.

In divorce mediation, we work with divorcing parents to address all of the issues that arise with child-rearing including health, education, activities and travel. We break the process into small steps to make it more manageable and less stressful for everyone. In addition to drafting parenting and holiday schedules, we also incorporate plans for decision-making and for covering all child-related expenses.

Our plans are both comprehensive and flexible. As a result, in mediation, we provide our clients with a framework for moving forward, so that when new unforeseen circumstances emerge, like those that came with the pandemic, parents are better equipped to work together to create a plan.

For more information about parenting plans and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

College, Covid, and Costs

5/14/2021

In New Jersey, including provisions for paying for the kids’ college has become a standard part of the parenting plan in divorce mediation agreements. Adding the realities of Covid 19 and the recent changes to the financial aid rules to the mix have made the decision-making process a little more complicated.

In our state, the courts have long viewed post-high school education as a necessity for which parents are at least partially responsible. Therefore, it should be part of every New Jerseyan’s parenting plan in their divorce agreement. As tempting as it may be, ignoring this issue now will not make the obligation to contribute to your kids’ education just go away. In fact, if you do not address college as part of your divorce agreement, you risk the Court later imposing its own plan on your family based on your children’s needs and goals and both parents’ resources. So, if you say nothing in your divorce agreement, you may end up paying more later than the plan you could develop now during the divorce process.

Over the past year and a half, the pandemic has made the process of selecting a college more challenging. In many cases, because of travel restrictions, students have had to choose where to attend based solely on virtual tours and information. Many school programs have been remote and/or hybrid, meaning students had to pay for school, yet live elsewhere. Now some schools are requiring vaccinations prior to entry, while others are offering financial incentives to those who vaccinate. Divorcing parents need to work together with their children through this potentially fraught decision-making process.

In addition, recently revised rules on the financial aid process have changed the way income and support are applied in financial aid applications. Moreover, the rules on student loan forgiveness are also in flux.

As part of the divorce mediation process, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help divorcing couples come up with a plan for choosing and paying for college for their kids regardless of how old their kids are now. We talk about all the relevant factors – programs, costs, decision-making, college savings plans and applying for financial aid. When needed, we can provide referrals to college financial aid advisors who can help parents complete their children’s forms in a way that maximizes college support packages.

Of course, when your kids are young, it can be hard to predict your children’s future educational needs and wants. Still, we have found that having a basic framework in place helps avoid big arguments and litigation expenses down the road.

For more information about parenting plans and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Using a Mediator without getting Divorced

4/16/2021

You do not need to be interested in getting divorced to make good use of our mediation services. At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we also help clients who want to separate without getting divorced develop plans for moving forward. In addition, we work with unmarried parents to create parenting and financial plans for taking care of their kids.

While New Jersey does not have an official status of legally separated, some married couples want to start living separate lives without ending their marriage. The reasons vary. Sometimes, couples want to try out a separation plan to see whether they should reconcile or get divorced. Some spouses want to stay married, but live separately to retain some of the benefits of marriage, like health insurance, tax benefits, or the ability to make emergency healthcare decisions for their spouse without filing any proxy forms. Emotional or religious considerations may also influence these decisions. Whatever the reason, we can work with you to create a plan for living separately that you both agree to follow without the finality of getting divorced.

Similarly, sometimes unmarried parents want to create a parenting plan or financial plan. In mediation, we can work with these clients to develop an agreement on parenting schedules and decision-making for the children, covering all issues from holidays to education to religious upbringing to extra-curricular activities. We also work out the financial aspects of parenting, including child support, health insurance, paying for college etc.

We have found that many issues that we address in divorce mediation can be applied to clients with other family situations, and we are here to help.

For more information on divorce mediation or mediation without divorce or parenting plans and child support, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

The American Rescue Plan Act and Child Support

3/19/2021

Even in the divorce mediation world, everyone is talking about the new law just passed by Congress – the American Rescue Plan Act of 2021 (ARP). It promises new and increased cash payments to many Americans. One part of the law includes more generous tax credits for children; and this new payment structure may have an impact on child support for divorced and divorcing parents.

Previously, depending on their income, parents received a tax credit of up to $2,000 per child. Under the ARP, this potential tax credit increases to $3,000 per child and $3,600 for children under 6 starting in 2021. In addition, the IRS plans to estimate the amount of the child tax credits for the year for families and pay them out in monthly portions in advance beginning in July 2021. These increased tax credits may impact child support calculations going forward.

Calculating child support is part of the divorce mediation process at Westfield Mediation, LLC. We calculate child support based on income and the number of nights each parent spends with the children, while also taking into account the payments parents make for health insurance premiums and/or child care. As part of the child support calculation, we determine which parent will be claiming the children as dependents for tax purposes. Sometimes, parents share these tax credits or alternate them over time. For our clients, we often run these numbers a few different ways to help them decide what is the best plan for them.

Divorced and divorcing parents may need to consult with their accountants to understand the impact of the new ARP laws on their taxes. In divorce mediation, we advise our clients to seek out the most up to date information available to help them make the best financial decisions for their family.

For more information on divorce mediation, parenting plans and child support, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

Divorce and Snow Days

2/19/2021

As children growing up, we loved snow days and the gift of a day off from school. Still, all the snow we have been having over the past few weeks has made me think of how challenging these schedule changes can be for divorcing parents. Divorcing parents have to create provisions in their parenting agreements to deal with unexpected occurrences – such as snow days.

In divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help divorcing parents craft agreements for their children’s regular and holiday schedules. We also include contingency plans for unpredictable events like snow days, sick days or emergencies.

In addition, to make everything run more smoothly, we address issues like the preferred means of communication between parent -- be it text, email or phone. Also, we add in provisions so that the children can reach out on their own to the parent who is not on duty in a reasonable way. We usually suggest shared calendars for the kids’ activities to ensure that everyone knows who has to be where and when. We find these tools go a long way towards easing conflicts. In general, by encouraging divorcing parents to work together on a parenting plan we hope to facilitate their ability to co-parent effectively once they are no longer married. We find that including all of these topics in the parenting blue print in the beginning of the process minimizes opportunities for arguments and confusion later on.

For more information on divorce mediation and parenting plans, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

Divorce Mediation and the Coronavirus

1/22/2021

As the Coronavirus has turned everyone’s life upside down, it has also impacted divorce mediation. Luckily, the divorce mediation process is designed to be adjustable and to minimize stress during difficult times.

So how have things changed?

For one, the new normal has demonstrated how important is to have a flexible divorce agreement. The agreement that we create in divorce mediation allows for changes to the parenting schedule to account for new issues like remote/hybrid school schedules and the unpredictability of outside-of- school activities. In addition, our agreements incorporate plans for how to proceed with alimony and child support in the short term and the long run, if the couple’s incomes change, or one or both parents lose their jobs.

Two, swings in the economy from the pandemic have also impacted the division of assets and liabilities. Over the past year, the whole country’s economic situation has changed significantly with record unemployment as well as huge stock market gains. Thus, many people’s income has become less dependable. At the same time, for some families, their retirement and other investment accounts are up. Similarly, the housing market in the suburbs has gotten very hot, so it’s a good time to sell a marital home, but not necessarily an easy time to find a new affordable place to live. All of these economic issues are considered and addressed in divorce mediation.

Three, with divorce mediation going virtual, clients do not need to be limited by location in picking their divorce mediator. Now, regardless of where you live in the state, divorce mediation can be equally convenient, opening up new options for divorcing couples who no longer have to travel to sessions or worry about baby-sitting.

Divorce mediation has long provided a better alternative to litigation. The roller coaster of the past year has demonstrated the continuing benefits of the divorce mediation process.
For more information on divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

Returning to Mediation After Divorce

12/18/2020

After finalizing a divorce, many people assume that the process is over forever. And while it can be for some people, in other cases, clients return to divorce mediation after they are divorced. In fact, post-divorce mediation is pretty common, and even encouraged by the Courts to resolve any disputes that come up later. But if parties are already divorced through mediation or litigation, why would this happen?

There are several possible reasons. In some cases, one ex-spouse is not following the agreement, and the other wants to follow up in mediation before returning to Court (as is often required by the divorce agreement). In other cases, circumstances have changed – one partner has moved, remarried, or changed jobs. Or maybe, the parenting schedule no longer meets the needs of the kids and the parties want to try to modify the agreement so it better reflects the new reality.

Sometimes, the world has changed in ways that were not predictable. For example, many new questions have come up now with Covid 19 -- are the children going to school in-person or remote, can they visit extended family, play sports, etc., -- and these topics can be discussed in post- divorce mediation. Other times, the mediation agreement was vague on certain points, and now issues have arisen that weren’t specifically addressed – like what time is pick up from one parent’s house on a holiday, or how are we dividing college expenses -- and the couple needs to add more details to their existing agreement.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we work with our clients to address any post-divorce issues that have cropped up. By enlisting the help of a neutral mediator, ex-spouses can work on the agreement in a calm, productive manner. We recognize that many clients are frustrated to find themselves still working on their divorce, and we help guide them through any bumps in the road. By using mediation rather than litigation to resolve post-divorce issues, clients can reduce their stress, and save time and money.

For more information about divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

BENEFITS OF DIVORCE MEDIATION DURING A PANDEMIC

10/30/2020

Life during the COVID-19 pandemic seems to have an underlying stress to it. There is a lot of talk in the media about how to cope, stress dreams and general concerns for people’s mental health. Another ongoing stress is living your life in an unhappy marriage. If you would like to get divorced, you don’t have to wait for the pandemic to be over to move on with your life. You and your spouse can participate in Zoom divorce mediation.

Divorce mediation is a lower cost, less stressful, more amicable alternative to litigation. It is done at your own pace. You retain more control over the entire process. It generally takes between 4 and 6 meetings in total, scheduled at your convenience. You can have all your decisions made about your divorce and move on to living your new life within two to three months. Think about it, you could have been done with the process months ago. The pandemic has been happening for 7 months already.

The divorce mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, help you tackle all the areas you need to address in your divorce agreement. You don’t miss out on anything by doing the process faster, for less money and less stress. You cover the topics of a parenting plan, child custody, division of assets and debts, child support calculations, spousal support (alimony) in mediation, just as you would in litigation. Nothing is overlooked. It is time to deal with pursuing a divorce to get rid of the long-term underlying stress of staying in an unhappy marriage during a pandemic.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.