Our Divorce Mediation Blog - Westfield Mediation, LLC

BENEFITS OF DIVORCE MEDIATION DURING A PANDEMIC

10/30/2020

Life during the COVID-19 pandemic seems to have an underlying stress to it. There is a lot of talk in the media about how to cope, stress dreams and general concerns for people’s mental health. Another ongoing stress is living your life in an unhappy marriage. If you would like to get divorced, you don’t have to wait for the pandemic to be over to move on with your life. You and your spouse can participate in Zoom divorce mediation.

Divorce mediation is a lower cost, less stressful, more amicable alternative to litigation. It is done at your own pace. You retain more control over the entire process. It generally takes between 4 and 6 meetings in total, scheduled at your convenience. You can have all your decisions made about your divorce and move on to living your new life within two to three months. Think about it, you could have been done with the process months ago. The pandemic has been happening for 7 months already.

The divorce mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, help you tackle all the areas you need to address in your divorce agreement. You don’t miss out on anything by doing the process faster, for less money and less stress. You cover the topics of a parenting plan, child custody, division of assets and debts, child support calculations, spousal support (alimony) in mediation, just as you would in litigation. Nothing is overlooked. It is time to deal with pursuing a divorce to get rid of the long-term underlying stress of staying in an unhappy marriage during a pandemic.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Learning More about Your Family Finances Before Divorce Saves Time and Money

10/16/2020

As divorce mediators, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we have seen that in many families, married couples are reluctant to discuss money issues. Sometimes one person handles all the financial decisions, pays the taxes and the bills. In other homes, the spouses keep most of their expenses and accounts separate, and don’t really share information about their assets and liabilities.

Recently, the coronavirus has created shifts of income and expenses in many homes, inspiring articles about how both spouses need to learn more about their finances in case one partner gets sick and can’t work or pay the bills. We have found that these same concepts about the importance of shared financial knowledge apply to divorcing families as well. Moreover, for divorcing couples, sharing information eliminates any suspicion of hidden assets or debts which reduces stress and helps you work together to create a fair agreement.

In divorce mediation, we help divorcing couples make sense of their financial picture. As part of that process, we go through their financial statements together to create a workable equitable plan. In divorce mediation, we tell our clients that it’s important to know a few basic things about your financial situation before you get divorced.

First, where are the important documents? You should both have log-in information for all savings, investment, and retirement accounts. You will both need to know what is out there to make a fair division of your accounts and debts. Secondly, whose name is on the accounts, the mortgage, the car title, etc. Who is the beneficiary of all your investments and life insurance policies? In our experience, starting with some simple fact-gathering upfront makes the process much easier and productive for everyone, saving time and money, and minimizing arguments down the road.

For more information about financial plans in divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

DIVORCE MEDIATION FOR THE TECH CHALLENGED DURING COVID-19

10/2/2020

Life may be extra overwhelming in our new COVID world if you are technologically challenged. You may think that you cannot get divorced during the pandemic because it is too hard to participate in virtual divorce mediation meetings. If you can check your email, then you can join the virtual meetings.

The divorce mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, can walk you through the process, step-by-step. All you have to do is show up on screen. We are currently meeting clients via Zoom. But clients are still able to drop off or pick up documents at the office from the receptionists. If you prefer, we can mail you a hard copy of the documents we look at together online during the Zoom meetings. We will not all be in the same room together but we can still get the job done.

So, don’t stay married longer than you want to because you are afraid that you can’t do virtual divorce mediation. Westfield Mediation, LLC, is here to help you. We understand that the divorce process can be overwhelming. And the technology can be overwhelming. So why would you want to combine the two? Living within a difficult marriage and wanting a divorce now, but not seeking one, is overwhelming too. We can help you cope with the technology so you can move on with your life.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

divorce and Unemployment

9/18/2020

Recently, a lot of the people who have been calling us at Westfield Mediation, LLC, to find out more about divorce mediation have found themselves newly unemployed, furloughed, laid off, or in-between jobs.

This is not surprising. First, the coronavirus virus has wreaked havoc on the economy, and many people have lost their jobs or had their hours cut substantially. In addition, dealing with financial hardships often make existing relationships much more tense and difficult, prompting couples to look into the possibility of divorce. Since divorce mediation provides a low-cost efficient alternative to expensive time-consuming divorce litigation, it’s no wonder that many married and divorced couples having financial stresses would seek us out.

In divorce mediation, we work with clients to create or revise a parenting and financial agreement that works for them. We are able to craft flexible plans for parenting schedules, child support and alimony that can be adjusted over time without returning to court.

Sometimes, our clients’ current financial situation is worse than usual and does not well represent their potential earnings, or their financial history together. In these cases, we can work with them to create economic terms that work for now, and that can be modified if and when their circumstances change, as the economy slowly improves. Having a workable plan in place is key to reducing everyone’s stress during the current hard times.

For more information about divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

The Benefits of Online Mediation

8/21/2020

For the past ten years, the mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC have been telling clients about the advantages of divorce mediation over costly, stressful divorce litigation. Now, we have found that virtual divorce mediation offers these benefits plus some added conveniences.

Divorce mediation offers numerous advantages over litigation. For example, divorce mediation moves more quickly than litigation, taking a few short weeks instead of years. It is also cheaper; and instead of requiring an expensive retainer, we give clients the opportunity to pay as they go, allowing them to schedule meetings in a way that works for their budgets. The mediation process is confidential; it gives more control over the process to the couple; and it promotes a better relationship for you and your family going forward.

Since March, the Coronavirus has forced us to move our practice online, and we have seen many of the benefits of online or virtual mediation. Online mediation allows couples to participate in divorce mediation without having to be in the same room – or even the same state – which reduces conflict. In addition, it opens up better scheduling options since no travel or babysitting is required. Moreover, the tech part is simple – you can participate on any device, including your phone. Overall, virtual mediation allows couples to take advantage of the many benefits of divorce mediation with several added conveniences.

For more information about divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Getting back to Life after coronavirus

6/26/2020

Many couples contemplating divorce before the pandemic put things on hold while they waited out the stress and uncertainty. A lot of people were reluctant to move forward with divorce mediation with their kids home from school, and the housing and employment markets all over the place.

Now that the state is slowly opening up, it has become clear that the old normal may be a ways away. But, there are some hopeful signs of progress. The housing market seems to be recovering, so that divorcing couples who want to sell their home will be able to move ahead. Similarly, with stores and restaurants re-opening, employment is slowly rebounding in some sectors. In addition, the stock market seems to also be stabilizing, improving investment and retirement accounts. As a result, it may be a good time to start working out your future plans through divorce mediation even if we are living in a different reality.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help our divorcing clients craft parenting and financial plans that are flexible enough to work even in uncertain times. For example, we can design parenting plans that account for changing school and camp schedules. Similarly, the child support and alimony provisions in our clients’ agreements are designed to be adjusted as needed if income and employment issues arise. We also work with couples who are already divorced to modify their existing arrangements as circumstances change over time.

While the changes to our lives that came with Covid-19 were unpredictable, as divorce mediators who create plans that need to hold up over long periods of time, we are used to drafting agreements that work for now, and also account for unexpected developments.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Why now may be a good time for divorce mediation

5/1/2020

Many couples who were considering divorce before the Coronavirus hit, are currently wondering whether they should move ahead now with divorce mediation or wait until life gets back to normal.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we tell our divorce mediation clients that we recognize that this is a difficult time for everyone. Yet, while we are all dealing with the stress and uncertainty of the quarantine/lockdown, there are some real benefits to working on your divorce agreement now.

First of all, we don’t know when the economy is going to pick up again, so waiting for the perfect time to move forward – the time when your home has more value, or you have better job security, or your retirement assets bounce back -- may mean waiting for a long time in an unhappy family situation. Instead of feeling stuck, you can use this time productively to create a parenting and financial plan. If the issues of your marriage are weighing on you, taking action may make you feel more in control of your life and less stressed all around. Moreover, if you decide to start creating a future plan -- there is no rush to finalize anything yet. The courts are open, but in a limited way right now, so the process can move ahead but may take a little longer. Having a plan in mind and on paper, will allow you to move quickly when you decide it’s the right time. Finally, because the pandemic has changed everyone’s schedule, and many of us are working from home, people can more easily plan their appointments.

The hardships we are living through with the Coronavirus and the quarantine can feel overwhelming. Still, for many families, there are real practical and emotional benefits to moving ahead now with divorce mediation.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Dealing with Divorce in the Days of Coronavirus

4/3/2020

As divorce mediators, we have been seeing firsthand that the stresses of life as a divorcing or divorced couple have been made that much harder by the new guidelines for daily life in place during the Coronavirus pandemic.

Many couples who have decided to get divorced are currently confined to their homes together because of the pandemic, adding to heightened tension all around. Moreover, the family’s ability to move forward by either selling their home, renting or buying a new home, or changing jobs has become much more limited, at least in the short term. A lot of people are currently unemployed and dealing with enormous financial pressures.

Similarly, in post-divorce households, ex-spouses are also dealing with new potential obstacles. Following parenting plans has become more fraught, with increased concerns about the children’s health, education, and activities. In addition, neutral places to pick up kids when they change households – like schools and libraries - have been closed. Moreover, when issues or disputes arise, the courts are providing only limited services to parents seeking enforcement of parenting plans.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we are continuing to help our divorce mediation clients get through these trying times. With calm compassion, we guide our clients through the sometimes complicated separation process to make workable plans for their future. In our experience, we have found that looking forward and creating practical plans for the days and years ahead helps people cope with the uncertainty and difficulty of their current circumstances.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

divorce and pets

3/6/2020

In many homes, pets – dogs, cats, lizards, rabbits -- are considered part of the family. So what happens to the pets if you get divorced?

In our divorce mediation agreements at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we always address how you are planning to care for the pets post-divorce. We consider what is in the best interest of the animals and the family. In addition to being an emotional issue, this is also a financial one, because pet care can be expensive. Also, some housing options do not allow for animals. So our divorce mediation agreements have to take feelings, finances and logistics into account.

For some families, the divorcing couples decide that the pets should follow the kids, so when the kids switch homes, the pets come along. Other families divide the pets over two households, with each adult responsible for their designated animal. In addition, some divorcing couples add in special instructions regarding the animals – for example, that the cats can’t be declawed, or that if one ex-spouse can’t care for the pet any longer, the other one gets first rights to the pet. By creating an agreement that address the needs of each specific family including the family pets, we help minimize the stress of the divorce process.

For more information about parenting plans and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

everyone benefits from divorce mediation

1/10/2020

We have already talked about everything, do we still need a divorce mediator? We never talk at all, can we still go to divorce mediation? Yes and yes.

As divorce mediators, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we meet divorcing couples who are at different places in their relationship. Some soon-to-be-exes have worked out a parenting and financial plan for moving forward after divorce; some have not even agreed about ending their marriage; and most are somewhere in-between. Regardless of your preparation for the future, divorce mediation can be extremely helpful.

For those couples who have already worked out some details of their plan, the mediator can help by reviewing the plan. She asks the right questions and makes sure that the divorcing couple understands what they have agreed to. Then the mediator writes up the agreement in a way that is both comprehensive and flexible, and clearly reflects the family’s plan. By addressing all of the issues, divorce mediation reduces the chances that the family will have later disputes and will have to return to Court multiple times.

For those families where the spouses are not on the same page about moving forward or have not yet discussed how the new set-up will look, the divorce mediator breaks the process down into small, manageable steps to make it less overwhelming. She ensures that each party’s voice is heard, so that no one feels that he or she was steamrolled into agreeing to something that makes him or her uncomfortable. By working closely with the couple, the divorce mediator makes a difficult process less stressful and creates a fair agreement for the family going forward.

In divorce mediation, we meet you where you are in your own relationship and process, and help guide you along to a future that makes sense for your family.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.