Our Divorce Mediation Blog - Westfield Mediation, LLC

Divorce and Snow Days

2/19/2021

As children growing up, we loved snow days and the gift of a day off from school. Still, all the snow we have been having over the past few weeks has made me think of how challenging these schedule changes can be for divorcing parents. Divorcing parents have to create provisions in their parenting agreements to deal with unexpected occurrences – such as snow days.

In divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help divorcing parents craft agreements for their children’s regular and holiday schedules. We also include contingency plans for unpredictable events like snow days, sick days or emergencies.

In addition, to make everything run more smoothly, we address issues like the preferred means of communication between parent -- be it text, email or phone. Also, we add in provisions so that the children can reach out on their own to the parent who is not on duty in a reasonable way. We usually suggest shared calendars for the kids’ activities to ensure that everyone knows who has to be where and when. We find these tools go a long way towards easing conflicts. In general, by encouraging divorcing parents to work together on a parenting plan we hope to facilitate their ability to co-parent effectively once they are no longer married. We find that including all of these topics in the parenting blue print in the beginning of the process minimizes opportunities for arguments and confusion later on.

For more information on divorce mediation and parenting plans, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

Divorce Mediation and the Coronavirus

1/22/2021

As the Coronavirus has turned everyone’s life upside down, it has also impacted divorce mediation. Luckily, the divorce mediation process is designed to be adjustable and to minimize stress during difficult times.

So how have things changed?

For one, the new normal has demonstrated how important is to have a flexible divorce agreement. The agreement that we create in divorce mediation allows for changes to the parenting schedule to account for new issues like remote/hybrid school schedules and the unpredictability of outside-of- school activities. In addition, our agreements incorporate plans for how to proceed with alimony and child support in the short term and the long run, if the couple’s incomes change, or one or both parents lose their jobs.

Two, swings in the economy from the pandemic have also impacted the division of assets and liabilities. Over the past year, the whole country’s economic situation has changed significantly with record unemployment as well as huge stock market gains. Thus, many people’s income has become less dependable. At the same time, for some families, their retirement and other investment accounts are up. Similarly, the housing market in the suburbs has gotten very hot, so it’s a good time to sell a marital home, but not necessarily an easy time to find a new affordable place to live. All of these economic issues are considered and addressed in divorce mediation.

Three, with divorce mediation going virtual, clients do not need to be limited by location in picking their divorce mediator. Now, regardless of where you live in the state, divorce mediation can be equally convenient, opening up new options for divorcing couples who no longer have to travel to sessions or worry about baby-sitting.

Divorce mediation has long provided a better alternative to litigation. The roller coaster of the past year has demonstrated the continuing benefits of the divorce mediation process.
For more information on divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

Returning to Mediation After Divorce

12/18/2020

After finalizing a divorce, many people assume that the process is over forever. And while it can be for some people, in other cases, clients return to divorce mediation after they are divorced. In fact, post-divorce mediation is pretty common, and even encouraged by the Courts to resolve any disputes that come up later. But if parties are already divorced through mediation or litigation, why would this happen?

There are several possible reasons. In some cases, one ex-spouse is not following the agreement, and the other wants to follow up in mediation before returning to Court (as is often required by the divorce agreement). In other cases, circumstances have changed – one partner has moved, remarried, or changed jobs. Or maybe, the parenting schedule no longer meets the needs of the kids and the parties want to try to modify the agreement so it better reflects the new reality.

Sometimes, the world has changed in ways that were not predictable. For example, many new questions have come up now with Covid 19 -- are the children going to school in-person or remote, can they visit extended family, play sports, etc., -- and these topics can be discussed in post- divorce mediation. Other times, the mediation agreement was vague on certain points, and now issues have arisen that weren’t specifically addressed – like what time is pick up from one parent’s house on a holiday, or how are we dividing college expenses -- and the couple needs to add more details to their existing agreement.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we work with our clients to address any post-divorce issues that have cropped up. By enlisting the help of a neutral mediator, ex-spouses can work on the agreement in a calm, productive manner. We recognize that many clients are frustrated to find themselves still working on their divorce, and we help guide them through any bumps in the road. By using mediation rather than litigation to resolve post-divorce issues, clients can reduce their stress, and save time and money.

For more information about divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

BENEFITS OF DIVORCE MEDIATION DURING A PANDEMIC

10/30/2020

Life during the COVID-19 pandemic seems to have an underlying stress to it. There is a lot of talk in the media about how to cope, stress dreams and general concerns for people’s mental health. Another ongoing stress is living your life in an unhappy marriage. If you would like to get divorced, you don’t have to wait for the pandemic to be over to move on with your life. You and your spouse can participate in Zoom divorce mediation.

Divorce mediation is a lower cost, less stressful, more amicable alternative to litigation. It is done at your own pace. You retain more control over the entire process. It generally takes between 4 and 6 meetings in total, scheduled at your convenience. You can have all your decisions made about your divorce and move on to living your new life within two to three months. Think about it, you could have been done with the process months ago. The pandemic has been happening for 7 months already.

The divorce mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, help you tackle all the areas you need to address in your divorce agreement. You don’t miss out on anything by doing the process faster, for less money and less stress. You cover the topics of a parenting plan, child custody, division of assets and debts, child support calculations, spousal support (alimony) in mediation, just as you would in litigation. Nothing is overlooked. It is time to deal with pursuing a divorce to get rid of the long-term underlying stress of staying in an unhappy marriage during a pandemic.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Learning More about Your Family Finances Before Divorce Saves Time and Money

10/16/2020

As divorce mediators, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we have seen that in many families, married couples are reluctant to discuss money issues. Sometimes one person handles all the financial decisions, pays the taxes and the bills. In other homes, the spouses keep most of their expenses and accounts separate, and don’t really share information about their assets and liabilities.

Recently, the coronavirus has created shifts of income and expenses in many homes, inspiring articles about how both spouses need to learn more about their finances in case one partner gets sick and can’t work or pay the bills. We have found that these same concepts about the importance of shared financial knowledge apply to divorcing families as well. Moreover, for divorcing couples, sharing information eliminates any suspicion of hidden assets or debts which reduces stress and helps you work together to create a fair agreement.

In divorce mediation, we help divorcing couples make sense of their financial picture. As part of that process, we go through their financial statements together to create a workable equitable plan. In divorce mediation, we tell our clients that it’s important to know a few basic things about your financial situation before you get divorced.

First, where are the important documents? You should both have log-in information for all savings, investment, and retirement accounts. You will both need to know what is out there to make a fair division of your accounts and debts. Secondly, whose name is on the accounts, the mortgage, the car title, etc. Who is the beneficiary of all your investments and life insurance policies? In our experience, starting with some simple fact-gathering upfront makes the process much easier and productive for everyone, saving time and money, and minimizing arguments down the road.

For more information about financial plans in divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

DIVORCE MEDIATION FOR THE TECH CHALLENGED DURING COVID-19

10/2/2020

Life may be extra overwhelming in our new COVID world if you are technologically challenged. You may think that you cannot get divorced during the pandemic because it is too hard to participate in virtual divorce mediation meetings. If you can check your email, then you can join the virtual meetings.

The divorce mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, can walk you through the process, step-by-step. All you have to do is show up on screen. We are currently meeting clients via Zoom. But clients are still able to drop off or pick up documents at the office from the receptionists. If you prefer, we can mail you a hard copy of the documents we look at together online during the Zoom meetings. We will not all be in the same room together but we can still get the job done.

So, don’t stay married longer than you want to because you are afraid that you can’t do virtual divorce mediation. Westfield Mediation, LLC, is here to help you. We understand that the divorce process can be overwhelming. And the technology can be overwhelming. So why would you want to combine the two? Living within a difficult marriage and wanting a divorce now, but not seeking one, is overwhelming too. We can help you cope with the technology so you can move on with your life.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

divorce and Unemployment

9/18/2020

Recently, a lot of the people who have been calling us at Westfield Mediation, LLC, to find out more about divorce mediation have found themselves newly unemployed, furloughed, laid off, or in-between jobs.

This is not surprising. First, the coronavirus virus has wreaked havoc on the economy, and many people have lost their jobs or had their hours cut substantially. In addition, dealing with financial hardships often make existing relationships much more tense and difficult, prompting couples to look into the possibility of divorce. Since divorce mediation provides a low-cost efficient alternative to expensive time-consuming divorce litigation, it’s no wonder that many married and divorced couples having financial stresses would seek us out.

In divorce mediation, we work with clients to create or revise a parenting and financial agreement that works for them. We are able to craft flexible plans for parenting schedules, child support and alimony that can be adjusted over time without returning to court.

Sometimes, our clients’ current financial situation is worse than usual and does not well represent their potential earnings, or their financial history together. In these cases, we can work with them to create economic terms that work for now, and that can be modified if and when their circumstances change, as the economy slowly improves. Having a workable plan in place is key to reducing everyone’s stress during the current hard times.

For more information about divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

The Benefits of Online Mediation

8/21/2020

For the past ten years, the mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC have been telling clients about the advantages of divorce mediation over costly, stressful divorce litigation. Now, we have found that virtual divorce mediation offers these benefits plus some added conveniences.

Divorce mediation offers numerous advantages over litigation. For example, divorce mediation moves more quickly than litigation, taking a few short weeks instead of years. It is also cheaper; and instead of requiring an expensive retainer, we give clients the opportunity to pay as they go, allowing them to schedule meetings in a way that works for their budgets. The mediation process is confidential; it gives more control over the process to the couple; and it promotes a better relationship for you and your family going forward.

Since March, the Coronavirus has forced us to move our practice online, and we have seen many of the benefits of online or virtual mediation. Online mediation allows couples to participate in divorce mediation without having to be in the same room – or even the same state – which reduces conflict. In addition, it opens up better scheduling options since no travel or babysitting is required. Moreover, the tech part is simple – you can participate on any device, including your phone. Overall, virtual mediation allows couples to take advantage of the many benefits of divorce mediation with several added conveniences.

For more information about divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Getting back to Life after coronavirus

6/26/2020

Many couples contemplating divorce before the pandemic put things on hold while they waited out the stress and uncertainty. A lot of people were reluctant to move forward with divorce mediation with their kids home from school, and the housing and employment markets all over the place.

Now that the state is slowly opening up, it has become clear that the old normal may be a ways away. But, there are some hopeful signs of progress. The housing market seems to be recovering, so that divorcing couples who want to sell their home will be able to move ahead. Similarly, with stores and restaurants re-opening, employment is slowly rebounding in some sectors. In addition, the stock market seems to also be stabilizing, improving investment and retirement accounts. As a result, it may be a good time to start working out your future plans through divorce mediation even if we are living in a different reality.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help our divorcing clients craft parenting and financial plans that are flexible enough to work even in uncertain times. For example, we can design parenting plans that account for changing school and camp schedules. Similarly, the child support and alimony provisions in our clients’ agreements are designed to be adjusted as needed if income and employment issues arise. We also work with couples who are already divorced to modify their existing arrangements as circumstances change over time.

While the changes to our lives that came with Covid-19 were unpredictable, as divorce mediators who create plans that need to hold up over long periods of time, we are used to drafting agreements that work for now, and also account for unexpected developments.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Why now may be a good time for divorce mediation

5/1/2020

Many couples who were considering divorce before the Coronavirus hit, are currently wondering whether they should move ahead now with divorce mediation or wait until life gets back to normal.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we tell our divorce mediation clients that we recognize that this is a difficult time for everyone. Yet, while we are all dealing with the stress and uncertainty of the quarantine/lockdown, there are some real benefits to working on your divorce agreement now.

First of all, we don’t know when the economy is going to pick up again, so waiting for the perfect time to move forward – the time when your home has more value, or you have better job security, or your retirement assets bounce back -- may mean waiting for a long time in an unhappy family situation. Instead of feeling stuck, you can use this time productively to create a parenting and financial plan. If the issues of your marriage are weighing on you, taking action may make you feel more in control of your life and less stressed all around. Moreover, if you decide to start creating a future plan -- there is no rush to finalize anything yet. The courts are open, but in a limited way right now, so the process can move ahead but may take a little longer. Having a plan in mind and on paper, will allow you to move quickly when you decide it’s the right time. Finally, because the pandemic has changed everyone’s schedule, and many of us are working from home, people can more easily plan their appointments.

The hardships we are living through with the Coronavirus and the quarantine can feel overwhelming. Still, for many families, there are real practical and emotional benefits to moving ahead now with divorce mediation.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.