What goes around comes around. This can certainly be true in your relationship with your once spouse/now co-parent. As you start to discuss where the kids are going to be on a day-to-day basis, you also have to take into consideration all of the special occasions, holidays, vacations and summer plans that may supersede your everyday plan. And that’s especially when what goes around comes around may come into play.
And that’s not even the reality of changing the day-to-day plan this week because you have to work late on Tuesday instead of Wednesday as normal, or the school concert got switched to a different day and time because of Covid. Those changes come up all the time. But then there is the ask that you ask just because it makes your life easier. It is more convenient/cheaper to fly out on Thursday night rather than wait until Saturday morning when your official summer vacation time starts. So, you ask your co-parent to do you a solid. And if you have done him/her a solid in the past it is easier to make this ask than if you have just denied your co-parent’s request for an adjustment to the parenting plan.
So how do you start this co-parenting post-divorce relationship off on the right foot? It actually starts when you are still married and working on your divorce agreement in divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC. The divorce mediators will specifically mention how important it is to be flexible on a day-to-day, week-to-week basis and overall, in the big picture, in making adjustments as needed, and it will be needed. The divorce mediators point out that flexibility is the most important factor in your entire parenting plan. A 50-50% parenting plan on paper is nice on paper, but then there is real life. And real-life changes constantly. Divorce mediation helps build a strong foundation for an amicable post-divorce relationship. You realize that you can work together, especially for the children’s benefit. And positive interactions build upon more positive interactions. So, it will be easy and natural to make that ask, because you both do it all the time. And if you are constantly saying no to the ask, just out of spite, just remember… what goes around comes around.
For more information on child support or divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at [email protected].
And that’s not even the reality of changing the day-to-day plan this week because you have to work late on Tuesday instead of Wednesday as normal, or the school concert got switched to a different day and time because of Covid. Those changes come up all the time. But then there is the ask that you ask just because it makes your life easier. It is more convenient/cheaper to fly out on Thursday night rather than wait until Saturday morning when your official summer vacation time starts. So, you ask your co-parent to do you a solid. And if you have done him/her a solid in the past it is easier to make this ask than if you have just denied your co-parent’s request for an adjustment to the parenting plan.
So how do you start this co-parenting post-divorce relationship off on the right foot? It actually starts when you are still married and working on your divorce agreement in divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC. The divorce mediators will specifically mention how important it is to be flexible on a day-to-day, week-to-week basis and overall, in the big picture, in making adjustments as needed, and it will be needed. The divorce mediators point out that flexibility is the most important factor in your entire parenting plan. A 50-50% parenting plan on paper is nice on paper, but then there is real life. And real-life changes constantly. Divorce mediation helps build a strong foundation for an amicable post-divorce relationship. You realize that you can work together, especially for the children’s benefit. And positive interactions build upon more positive interactions. So, it will be easy and natural to make that ask, because you both do it all the time. And if you are constantly saying no to the ask, just out of spite, just remember… what goes around comes around.
For more information on child support or divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at [email protected].
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