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The Divorce Diet

3/15/2012

14 Comments

 
In the past few years I have noticed some women, whom I see every now and then, have dropped significant amount of weight.  Each one is noticeably thinner and clearly several pant sizes smaller.  Unfortunately, I seem to be headed in the opposite direction, so I was intrigued by how they lost so much weight.  Then I heard that they were getting divorced and it all made sense.  They were on the divorce diet. 

This is not a diet I recommend for anyone.  As a divorce mediator, I see how the uncertainty of your life can stress you out and wear you down.  You don’t feel like eating because you are so worried about how your life will work out.  Am I making the right decision?  How should you tell the kids? What if you can’t pay your bills? etc.  Eating loses its priority and your appetite disappears.  Well, divorce does not happen in a day, so if you continually don’t eat because you are so stressed, you are on the divorce diet and will drop significant weight.

One way to combat the divorce diet is to make sure you have a strong support system during this stressful time.  Talk to your friends and family.  Go see a therapist.  Let the school teachers know what is going on with the kids.  Now is the time to reach out, not shut down.  In addition, try to keep the lines of communication open with your spouse.  Knowledge is power and the more you know, the more you can plan, and the better you will feel.  Sometimes it is better to communicate with a spouse with a third party in the room, a mediator, when planning your post-divorce life.  The mediator can keep the communication going whereas when you and your spouse are alone, it may just shut down.  It also seems like paying someone to help you move forward is good motivation for many couples to actually get something accomplished and make decisions.  You want some bang for your buck.  Finally, keep food in the house you like and make sure you eat some of it everyday, even when you don’t feel like it.  Your body needs the nourishment. 

So, while it would be nice to be able to drop a few pant sizes, the divorce diet is not the way to go.  Take a healthier approach to dieting—and your life.    
14 Comments
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    Authors

    Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

    Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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