New Traditions for the Holidays

With the Jewish High Holidays upon us (Happy New Year!) and Halloween (and then Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years) soon to follow, it is time to start new family traditions to celebrate the holidays.  If your goal is to be divorced by this time next year, now is the time to start new traditions.  You can test drive a new plan to celebrate and see how it works. If you are newly divorced then this is the year to execute your new parenting plan. The first year of doing something different than you have always done it tends to be the most difficult- emotionally and logistically.  Think about when you were a newlywed and needed to walk through the minefield of how to spend the first year of holidays as a married couple.  Our house, in-laws, my parents, my aunts, your grandmas, etc.  It is tough to please everyone. But new traditions were created then and they can be made now. 

Mom and Dad need to figure out a plan then tell the kids and the extended family.  If you need help figuring out a plan on how to share the various holidays then see a mediator.  A mediator can help you resolve all the issues of a divorce or just the ones that you want to address.  After you have a plan, be very clear with your support system of friends and family that you need kindness and compassion, not guilt and anger, from them.  Yes things will be different but they do not have to be bad. 

As I am writing this I keep thinking of the song Tradition from Fiddler on The Roof.  Even Tevya saw that while old traditions provide comfort, sometimes it is necessary to forge a new path and create new traditions for everyone to enjoy.