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holiday card season

12/8/2017

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It is holiday card season again.  Sending out the annual holiday card can be such a chore, even under the best of circumstances.  Just like Santa, you have a list and must check it twice.  Who moved and what is the new address?  Who sent you a card, so you must send them a card?  Do you still have to send a card to your boss from 4 jobs ago?  This mundane task can be even more difficult if you are separated or going through a divorce.  Do you now send out two cards- one with Mom and the kids and the other with Dad and the kids?  Do you divide the address list up and some people gets cards from one of you and the some get cards from the other one?  Do you just skip it all this year?

So many decisions to make.  How can you figure out your whole life if you can’t even figure out the Christmas card?  Then you begin to panic about your divorce, and the downward spiral starts.  If you can’t agree on this then you will never agree on anything.  If you give in about the card and do what your soon-to-be-ex-spouse wants to do, then what is next?  You may never get anything you want in the divorce process. 

At Westfield Mediation we help our clients realize that there is give and take with all the decisions that they will make about their divorce.  No one gets everything, and no one loses everything.  You both compromise and eventually you reach a decision on things regarding all the areas of the divorce.  There is no need to freak out.  We help break down your whole life into much smaller, and more manageable, steps.  A divorce mediator helps guide the discussion about your options about your post-divorce life.  You reach decisions about your futures instead of dwelling on and repeating past arguments.  And if you can make these difficult life decisions, like how the kids are spending their time on Christmas Day, then surely you can handle the task of a holiday card. 
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For more information on divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com
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    Authors

    Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

    Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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