In divorce proceedings you can be amicable, but don’t be unwise. You can develop a plan that is friendly and negotiable, but you must also protect yourself along the way. You want to include as much details as possible about all of the issues in a divorce. I recently cautioned a couple about their financial arrangements. They planned to forgo child support since they earn around the same amount and are splitting time with the kids evenly. I had to explain that first of all, child support is a right of the child to be financially supported by both of his/her parents. It is not a bargaining chip for parents to use with one another. Secondly, you want to have in writing the amount of child support and how is it being paid. What you don’t want to happen is five years from now, one parent say to the other parent, by the way that $100 a month in child support that I have not collected all these years because we said we would skip it…I changed my mind and now I want it. All of it. All $6,000 of the arrears.
Divorce mediation is for couples who want an amicable divorce. But, friendly does not mean foolish. Some couples at first think it is silly to put some things in writing at this point in time, because everyone is getting along so well and we can just figure it out later. For example, who is spending Thanksgiving with the kids? Some couples would like to have this be a family day every year for all family members involved. We have always spent it together and will continue to do so. That may work… for a few years. But what will happen when new partners come into the picture and there are new family traditions to consider. It may seem ridiculous to designate the children will be with one parent or the other, but making these decisions now and putting them in writing will avoid problems down the road. Best case scenario is you have a plan in writing and then continue to spend the day together regardless of what the plan is because you both agree that it is working out fine. Worst case scenario is you don’t have a plan and you each want to do something with the kids separately and you both don’t agree. You have nothing in writing to fall back on, because you were just going to work it out later, and then have to return to court after your divorce to hash it out.
At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help couples in divorce mediation work together to come up with a parenting and financial plan that protects all involved. Your agreement is clearly spelled out and protects each of you from the other returning to court to make a claim. You address all the issues now, even the ones you think are not necessary, to protect yourself from any possible future misunderstandings.
For more information about Divorce Mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at [email protected]
Divorce mediation is for couples who want an amicable divorce. But, friendly does not mean foolish. Some couples at first think it is silly to put some things in writing at this point in time, because everyone is getting along so well and we can just figure it out later. For example, who is spending Thanksgiving with the kids? Some couples would like to have this be a family day every year for all family members involved. We have always spent it together and will continue to do so. That may work… for a few years. But what will happen when new partners come into the picture and there are new family traditions to consider. It may seem ridiculous to designate the children will be with one parent or the other, but making these decisions now and putting them in writing will avoid problems down the road. Best case scenario is you have a plan in writing and then continue to spend the day together regardless of what the plan is because you both agree that it is working out fine. Worst case scenario is you don’t have a plan and you each want to do something with the kids separately and you both don’t agree. You have nothing in writing to fall back on, because you were just going to work it out later, and then have to return to court after your divorce to hash it out.
At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help couples in divorce mediation work together to come up with a parenting and financial plan that protects all involved. Your agreement is clearly spelled out and protects each of you from the other returning to court to make a claim. You address all the issues now, even the ones you think are not necessary, to protect yourself from any possible future misunderstandings.
For more information about Divorce Mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at [email protected]
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