Television doesn’t present divorce mediation exactly right. There are two examples that come to mind. In 2014 there was an unfortunate series on Bravo called “Untying the Knot” promoting itself as divorce mediation reality show. In each episode a high net-worth couple seeks the assistance of the mediator to help them divide their stuff/finances. They each plead to the mediator why s/he should get what s/he wants and then the mediator crunches some numbers and tells them how they will divide the assets in question. This is not mediation. A mediator is neutral and never makes decisions for the couple. I stopped watching it after two episodes because it made me sick to my stomach that this is how divorce mediation is being represented to a national audience.
At Westfield Mediation, LLC, our experienced mediators make it clear from the first meeting that mediators do not make decisions for the couple about anything. A mediator can explain how other couples have handled similar situations but never says here is my decision and this is how it is going to be for you. The couple is in control of their new futures. No decisions are thrust upon them.
The other show is Divorce, currently on HBO, with Sarah Jessica Parker and Thomas Haden Church. This portrayal of divorce mediation was somewhat more accurate and the characters had good intentions with one another to make mediation work for their divorce. Unfortunately, the mediator gives the couple a giant notebook of homework and asks them to assess all of their finances immediately after their first meeting. This is an unrealistic task and was probably done to further the storyline. While there is a lot of ground to cover in a divorce, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we break the big process into smaller, more manageable steps. We do not throw the whole ball of wax at you at once. As predicted, Thomas Haden Church gets overwhelmed, panics and hires a lawyer instead of attending the second mediation meeting. Fortunately, the mediator appropriately maintained her neutrality and refused to speak about the issues with Sarah Jessica Parker’s character when the husband did not show up for their second meeting.
The reality of divorce mediation can be a lot less stressful and more manageable than the television version. For more information about divorce mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.
At Westfield Mediation, LLC, our experienced mediators make it clear from the first meeting that mediators do not make decisions for the couple about anything. A mediator can explain how other couples have handled similar situations but never says here is my decision and this is how it is going to be for you. The couple is in control of their new futures. No decisions are thrust upon them.
The other show is Divorce, currently on HBO, with Sarah Jessica Parker and Thomas Haden Church. This portrayal of divorce mediation was somewhat more accurate and the characters had good intentions with one another to make mediation work for their divorce. Unfortunately, the mediator gives the couple a giant notebook of homework and asks them to assess all of their finances immediately after their first meeting. This is an unrealistic task and was probably done to further the storyline. While there is a lot of ground to cover in a divorce, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we break the big process into smaller, more manageable steps. We do not throw the whole ball of wax at you at once. As predicted, Thomas Haden Church gets overwhelmed, panics and hires a lawyer instead of attending the second mediation meeting. Fortunately, the mediator appropriately maintained her neutrality and refused to speak about the issues with Sarah Jessica Parker’s character when the husband did not show up for their second meeting.
The reality of divorce mediation can be a lot less stressful and more manageable than the television version. For more information about divorce mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.
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