Divorce does not have to be the end of the world for your children, although there may be moments when it feels that way to them. But kids in intact families may face different scenarios and feel like their world is ending too. So, it is not the divorce in itself that is so devastating. It really comes down to how the parents handle the divorce. Studies have shown that high parental conflict post-divorce can have an adverse effect on your children. I always think of the scenario of the school concert. Both parents eagerly attend, but sit as far apart as humanly possible because of the outward hatred each has for the other after their very difficult divorce. They still have a bad taste in their mouth from the entire process and can’t even think of being physically near their co-parent. The concert is over and your kids gets off the stage. Who does this child run to first for the warm hugs and shouts of “Congratulations” “Great Job” and “I’m so proud of you”?
Tough spot to inadvertently put your kid in. But these difficult choices happen all the time to children after a bad divorce. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Imagine that after the concert the co-parents sat near enough to one another, or dare say even next to one another, so their child comes off the stage to their parents’ seats in the auditorium to receive the earned accolades. The child does not have to choose because the parents can tolerate each other. They don’t have a lingering bad taste in their mouth about their divorce because they used a divorce mediator to get divorced.
The divorce mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, help co-parents develop an effective co-parenting relationship. A divorce mediator is a neutral third party that helps couples stay focused on their futures while addressing all the issues of their divorce- parenting plan, division of marital assets and debts, child support, and spousal support. Both parties are able to negotiate with one another and learn to get of the win-lose mindset common in litigated divorces and approach these issues and one another with a give and take, win-win attitude, which influences their co-parenting relationship in a positive, practical way. The best interest of the children is always the top priority and parents learn to put aside their own needs and wants for the benefit of their children. And once you realize that you have given and gotten and so has you co-parent as well, it makes it easier to sit closer to one another at that concert, game, graduation, wedding, etc.
For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at [email protected].
Tough spot to inadvertently put your kid in. But these difficult choices happen all the time to children after a bad divorce. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Imagine that after the concert the co-parents sat near enough to one another, or dare say even next to one another, so their child comes off the stage to their parents’ seats in the auditorium to receive the earned accolades. The child does not have to choose because the parents can tolerate each other. They don’t have a lingering bad taste in their mouth about their divorce because they used a divorce mediator to get divorced.
The divorce mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, help co-parents develop an effective co-parenting relationship. A divorce mediator is a neutral third party that helps couples stay focused on their futures while addressing all the issues of their divorce- parenting plan, division of marital assets and debts, child support, and spousal support. Both parties are able to negotiate with one another and learn to get of the win-lose mindset common in litigated divorces and approach these issues and one another with a give and take, win-win attitude, which influences their co-parenting relationship in a positive, practical way. The best interest of the children is always the top priority and parents learn to put aside their own needs and wants for the benefit of their children. And once you realize that you have given and gotten and so has you co-parent as well, it makes it easier to sit closer to one another at that concert, game, graduation, wedding, etc.
For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at [email protected].
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