Westfield Mediation, LLC - Our Divorce Mediation Blog

DIVORCE MEDIATION COACHING AND MENTORSHIP FOR NEWLY TRAINED MEDIATORS

11/30/2022

Westfield Mediation, LLC, is excited to announce that we are now offering coaching and mentorship for newly trained mediators to help launch their practice. You have had the divorce mediation training but are not sure about what to do next. How do you actually get up and running? The coaching curriculum is a practical three-part program that includes the nuts and bolts of starting a business, networking and social media tips and the development of all the paperwork you will need to do the mediation work. You learned so much in the divorce mediation training and now want to put it into action. But there are many steps to do from finishing the class to working with a client. And Westfield Mediation, LLC, can help fill in this gap for you. We provide step-by-step instructions with links to the appropriate websites, saving you hours of online searches trying to figure out how to do all of this on your own.

We also offer a second piece of the puzzle. As part of the mentorship program, we can support you while you hone your mediation skills. We were once where you are now. Working with your first clients can be nerve-racking. So, we offer you the ability to shadow live mediation sessions. Clients must agree to this ahead of time and all confidentiality rules are applicable. You can see in real time how a real mediator works with real clients. You can shadow a mediator before you even have clients of your own-- a very valuable experience as you embark on your own journey down the mediation path. The more support you have, the faster you can become a better mediator.

And once you have those clients, we offer a review of the Memorandum of Understanding that you have written. It is always helpful and comforting to get some feedback about your first forays into this new world of divorce mediation documents. Westfield Mediation, LLC, has created a step-by-step coaching and mentorship program to help you actually begin your mediation business.

For more information on the coaching and mentorship program for newly trained divorce mediators, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. Email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com or view our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com.

Why Choose Divorce Mediation Over Litigation?

11/18/2022

Divorce mediation is a much better option for most couples than litigation. At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we cover the exact same issues – parenting, child support, equitable distribution of assets and debts and spousal support – as you address in litigation for less money. Divorce mediation is a less adversarial, less stressful process where you – not the Courts or your lawyers -- control the schedule. You can still consult a lawyer during the process and most clients do. Still, by limiting the lawyer’s role to consultations, you save money and time that could be better spent with your family.

So, what are the primary advantages of divorce mediation?

1.  Divorce mediation is less expensive than litigation. Because you work with one mediator instead of two lawyers to resolve your issues, your expense is cut in half. In addition, mediation is pay as you go – no huge retainer required—so you can schedule the meetings in a way that works for your budget.

2. Divorce mediation moves much faster than litigation. Because you and your spouse have direct communication with each other while working together on your agreement, you can move as quickly as you want. Most couples complete divorce mediation in just a few months, while litigation may take years.

3.  Divorce mediation is better for your ongoing relationship which is especially important if you have children together. Working together on this process gives you the skills to continue co-parenting. Also, people are more likely to follow an agreement that they had a hand in creating. Even the Courts recognize the value of mediation and include a mediation component in the divorce litigation process.

4.  Divorce mediation is a confidential process while litigating through the Courts is not. Most people prefer to keep their private lives private.

Going through a divorce is stressful. It is worth considering what would make this process less taxing emotionally and financially for your family. For many people that means choosing divorce mediation over costly, adversarial divorce litigation.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

DIVORCE AND INSURANCE

11/4/2022

Health insurance coverage seems top of mind when couples are getting a divorce. People seem to know that they don’t want to go without health insurance and have to figure out their possible choices. And we discuss these options and timing of options during divorce mediation. But we also cover lots of other insurance issues that are not always top of mind when couples are getting a divorce. We have clients do some homework to figure out what alternatives they have and the cost when it comes to all of the other insurances like: car insurance, life insurance, and home owner’s insurance.

Car insurance can be tricky. Many people qualify for a discount if they bundle their home owner’s insurance and multiple car policy (just ask Flo from Progressive). When you start to live apart you will not be able to be on the same car insurance anymore and no longer get the bundle discount. You may also now need renter’s insurance if you are now renting a place to live. If your spouse remains living in the home there will still be home owner’s insurance. And for liability reasons, you don’t want to be removed from the home owner’s insurance until your name is removed from the deed and the mortgage, which sometimes takes place after the divorce is finalized. So, you might still be on the home owner’s insurance even though you might not be living in the martial home.

And if you have kids you will want to have some life insurance. You want to make sure that the financial contributions you make now to their well-being, in form of child support to your co-parent, or paying for dinner and a movie when the kids are with you, will still happen even after your unexpected death. If you’re not there to earn a paycheck you don’t want your kids to pay the price.
Wow! That seems like a lot to figure out. The divorce mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, help you break down all of these tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. But you don’t know what you don’t know when you are getting a divorce and there is actually a lot to know about insurance- and not just the health care kind.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.
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Celebrating Halloween

10/21/2022

Happy Halloween! When developing a parenting plan during the divorce mediation process, we talk to our clients about holidays and how the family is going to celebrate them going forward. There is a tendency during our mediation sessions to focus on the “big ones” like Thanksgiving or Christmas, Easter or Passover. When devising a schedule for these important days, we work hard in divorce mediation to develop plans that are fair to both parents and take important family traditions into account. As part of this discussion, we also talk about Halloween. Since Halloween is a smaller, sillier holiday, we often have to remind clients that they should create a Halloween plan too.

Generally, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we include a provision in the parenting plan for celebrating Halloween that says that both parents can see the kids in their costumes and participate in any school-sponsored activities like classroom parties or Halloween parades. We also talk about trick-or-treating – is it going to be near one parent’s home or the other? Are the kids going to go to alternate neighborhoods in alternate years? Are the parents both going to accompany the kids? If there are multiple children, are the parents going to each have separate roles shepherding the different kids around?

We try to make a plan that is both comprehensive and flexible, knowing that kids’ interests and needs change as they grow. Of course, the parents can deviate from this plan down the road. The goal in mediation is to provide clients with a place to turn for resolution if a dispute arises and they can’t agree on how to proceed.

Regardless of the plan the parents ultimately include in their divorce agreement, the main point stays the same. For many families, Halloween is a fun celebration that the children look forward to all year. It is important to have a post-divorce plan in place that allows everyone – parents and kids – to enjoy the day.

For more information about parenting plans and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

THE TOP FIVE QUESTIONS WE GET ASKED AS DIVORCE MEDIATORS:

10/7/2022

Here are the top five questions we get asked most often as a divorce mediator at Westfield Mediation, LLC:

1. How is a divorce mediator different from a divorce attorney? A distinct aspect of mediation versus litigation is that the mediator is neutral and does not support or oppose a client’s position on the issues. A divorce attorney acts as your legal advocate, informs you about the law and advises only you (and not your spouse) about what is in your best interests (which may be the opposite of what is in your spouse’s best interest).

2.  How can a divorce mediator be helpful if she is not acting in my best interest? I know some people are skeptical when they start the mediation process on how this will work. But it does; just read the reviews from past clients. Having a third-party present, who is neutral, points the discussions about the issues of your divorce in a whole new direction. Clients are comfortable making decisions, hearing how other clients have addressed an issue (like what are we doing with our house) and moving forward towards their new futures. The mediator does not allow them to have the same fight over and over again but redirects the conversation towards resolutions.

3.  How much is this going to cost? Mediation is a ginormous savings versus litigation. You pay one mediator, as opposed to two attorneys, a lower hourly fee. No retainer is required. You pay for the time that you use as you use it. Our clients spend about $2,500-$3,500 per divorce in mediation. That’s total, not per person.

4.  How long will this take? I too have heard the horror stories about it taking years and years to get divorced. In mediation it takes between four and six meetings in total. Meetings last one hour. Meetings are scheduled are your convenience. So, you could be done in six weeks or stretch it out if you so desire.

5.  Do I need still need a lawyer if we agreed on everything in mediation? The short answer is no, but the real answer is it is up to you. Legally, you are not required to have an attorney to get divorced. You can represent yourself in court. It is called being pro se. At Westfield Mediation, we recommend that you use a divorce attorney in a more limited role, called a review attorney. This review attorney will fill out all the paperwork for court, accompany you to court, advise you of your legal rights and answer any legal questions you may have. While it is not legally required to have an attorney, we think it is best practice to do so.

These are just the top five most frequently asked questions. Contemplating divorce brings up a lot of questions and you probably have more. You are welcome to reach out to Westfield Mediation to discuss them. Please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Divorce Mediation for Small Business owners

9/23/2022

Many of our divorce mediation clients at Westfield Mediation, LLC are small business owners or self-employed. Oftentimes, the business finances of these clients are intermingled with their personal finances. While this may make things a little tricky, it should not be seen as an obstacle to moving forward.

For example, these clients may have some credit cards or bank accounts that they use for work and some for home expenses. Or they may have used their family home as collateral for the business. So, when they are getting divorced, it takes a little time to figure out the value of their business and how to divide it, as well as what assets and debts go with the business and what belong to the family.

While it may seem overwhelming at first to make these distinctions, in divorce mediation, we break the process down into small manageable steps. We try to ensure that everyone is being open and transparent about their accounts. In some cases, mediation clients want to use an accountant who specializes in business valuations to provide an objective analysis of their business, and we provide them with a list of local specialists.

According the Courts, the division of assets and debts in divorce must be fair and equitable. We use this same standard when working in divorce mediation with small business owners or self-employed clients.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

WHAT IS A MEMORANDUM OF UNDERSTANDING?

9/9/2022

If you are getting a divorce with a divorce mediator you may be wondering, “What is a Memorandum of Understanding?”. In the simplest terms, a Memorandum of Understanding is just an industry term that is used to describe the report that reflects the agreements you have reached in divorce mediation. No one signs this document and it is not legally binding. This report will address your parenting plan, division of marital assets and debts, child support, and spousal support (which used to be known as alimony). It is a very thorough document but written in every day language that is straight forward.

So, a Memorandum of Understanding is a good first step towards an official divorce. Your final judgement of divorce, granted by a judge in court is legally binding, and includes a Marital Settlement Agreement. Simply put, a Marital Settlement Agreement is a jazzed-up version of the Memorandum of Understanding. The Marital Settlement Agreement contains all the legalese and contract language about the substance of the agreements reached in divorce mediation. The Memorandum of Understanding will clearly spell out all issues in basic, clear language. A Marital Settlement Agreement will add another layer, clarifying more legal issues. It’s good to start with the Memorandum of Understanding so you can clearly see what you have agreed upon before adding the legal protections.

The mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, help you develop a Memorandum of Understanding in a clear, organized manner. You may end up with a 10-15-page document that plainly spells out all of the agreements you reached in mediation. It is written in a way that is clear and concise while not omitting important aspects of your divorce agreement. The mediators are thorough and include many details. But mediators are not acting as attorneys and do not pretend to be. The Memorandum of Understanding does not have the sometimes difficult to understand legal terminology that can overshadow the essence of the agreement. That gets added in (and should be) when the Memorandum of Understanding becomes a Marital Settlement Agreement, which is prepared by a divorce attorney.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

Second Saturday Workshop This Thursday 8/18/22

8/15/2022

This Thursday, August 18, 2022, Westfield Mediation, LLC will be participating as a panelist in a Second Saturday workshop on the legal, financial and emotional issues of divorce.

Second Saturday, founded in 1988 as part of The Women’s Institute of Financial Education provides information and support to women navigating the complex process of divorce. Second Saturday’s mission is to offer education, support and guidance to women during this life transition, helping them move confidently towards independence.

By presenting valuable information from a divorce mediator, a divorce coach and a certified divorce financial advisor, Second Saturday provides attendees with the resources to make better decisions for their families. In addition, participants in the workshop meet other women who are addressing the same issues as they are and can share their experiences.

If you are interested in attending this workshop or future ones, please reach out by email to Secondsaturdaysnj@gmail.com or by phone to (732) 632-5830. You can also visit their website, Secondsaturdaysnj.com.

HOW DO YOU SEE THINGS TURNING OUT WITH YOUR DIVORCE?

8/5/2022

How do you see things turning out with your divorce? The phrase I hear most often when clients are done with divorce mediation is, “Well, that was not as bad as I thought it was going to be.” We then discuss how this is usually a rough time in a person’s life, going through a divorce and adjusting to post-divorce life, but that using a divorce mediator and going through mediation rather than divorce litigation made it a little better. It helps you have a “good divorce”.

The divorce mediator remains neutral throughout the entire process. The mediator works directly with both spouses and does not take sides. However, the mediator can share information with both spouses that might steer the conversation in a new direction. For example, the mediator might point out that it is possible to have one parenting time schedule for the school year and a different one for the summer months. Or that it is more expensive to live in two homes than it is to live in one home, but your incomes have not increased, so it is not unusual for both spouses to have to make changes to their post-divorce lifestyles at first. This information can be helpful in allowing the spouses to then make decisions about their divorce agreement.

During the divorce mediation process you address all of the issues of your divorce, but not all at once. At Westfield Mediation, LLC, the divorce mediators help break down the entire process into smaller, more manageable steps. The first meeting is an introduction to the divorce process and explains each step of the way. The next meeting addresses your parenting plan and a comprehensive way to address all issues concerning your children. Then we move on to the finances. We help you lay out the overall financial picture of all of your marital assets and debts. Then we help you figure out how you are dividing these marital assets and debts. Another step is for you to complete a marital lifestyle and post-marital lifestyle budget form (these are tough but are required by the court). One of the last steps is to figure out child support and spousal support. These steps can be done in this exact order or sometimes overlap or are put on hold and returned to at a later date. But they all get addressed in mediation. And it is not as bad as you think.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Mediation Now or Later?

7/21/2022

When is the best time to start divorce mediation? Should you talk to a lawyer first? Should you wait until you are living separately? Or you have worked out certain things?

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we get these questions a lot from prospective clients who are trying to figure out next steps. We recommend that couples considering divorce come in for an appointment to learn about the divorce mediation process and ask all the questions that they have. We find that learning about divorce makes it much less intimidating. Knowing how the process works makes it all seem more manageable. In divorce mediation, we break everything down into small doable steps. Over time, we develop a workable plan for parenting, division of assets and debts, child support and alimony. Coming in for one introductory meeting often takes away the feeling of being overwhelmed.

Another great thing about mediation is that there is no set timeline. So, once you start, you can space the meetings in a way that works for you – emotionally and financially. Sometimes, clients want to move forward at a steady pace to get everything squared away. Other times, they prefer to separate the meetings by a few weeks while they address some of their family issues or get their budgets in order.

Back to the initial questions. First, we do advise consulting a lawyer, but it does not have to be a first step. Since a mediator is neutral and a lawyer acts as your advocate, it may be worthwhile to get the perspective of an expert who is only on your side before you submit your final agreement to the Court. If you go through divorce mediation, you can use a lawyer in a more limited, much less expensive way than you would in litigation. Second, you can wait until you are living separately, but you do not have to. Many clients begin living separately during the mediation process. This gives them the ability to live the newly-agreed-upon arrangement and tweak it as necessary. Third, it is a good idea to try to work out some issues on your own, but we will guide you through the process, so you know the questions to ask yourselves. We also help when you get stuck to generate new options you may not have considered.

From that very first meeting, clients find that divorce mediation is a less expensive, less stressful alternative to litigation that will get them to where they want to be.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

Authors

Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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