Westfield Mediation, LLC - Our Divorce Mediation Blog

Thanksgiving, Christmas, Divorce and Coronavirus

11/13/2020

The holiday season is often a difficult time for newly divorced or divorcing families. For some families, this may be the first year that parents are spending Thanksgiving or Christmas apart from their spouses and children. Adding Covid-19 to the mix makes everything even more complicated, because celebrations will likely be smaller this year with fewer big family gatherings and minimal travel. Regardless of the limitations of divorce and Covid, everyone wants to find safe and festive ways to keep some of their traditions going and enjoy these special days.

In divorce mediation, we help divorcing couples prepare for this time of year by making holiday arrangements in advance. This preparation minimizes disputes down the road because everyone knows who will have the kids each year on all the major holidays. Moreover, the parent who is not with the kids has enough prior notice to make alternate plans so that he/she does not feel left out of the fun. To make the most of the season, we often recommend that parents maintain some of their usual traditions so kids feel comforted, while also introducing new fun activities to demonstrate that change can be positive as well.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we also help our divorce mediation clients address the issues that have arisen with Covid-19. Specifically, parents often need to work out together how their kids are going to interact with other friends and family in a safe way. By working together in mediation to create a plan, divorcing parents can establish the ground rules for this time of year which makes everyone less anxious about the season.

For more information about parenting plans in divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

BENEFITS OF DIVORCE MEDIATION DURING A PANDEMIC

10/30/2020

Life during the COVID-19 pandemic seems to have an underlying stress to it. There is a lot of talk in the media about how to cope, stress dreams and general concerns for people’s mental health. Another ongoing stress is living your life in an unhappy marriage. If you would like to get divorced, you don’t have to wait for the pandemic to be over to move on with your life. You and your spouse can participate in Zoom divorce mediation.

Divorce mediation is a lower cost, less stressful, more amicable alternative to litigation. It is done at your own pace. You retain more control over the entire process. It generally takes between 4 and 6 meetings in total, scheduled at your convenience. You can have all your decisions made about your divorce and move on to living your new life within two to three months. Think about it, you could have been done with the process months ago. The pandemic has been happening for 7 months already.

The divorce mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, help you tackle all the areas you need to address in your divorce agreement. You don’t miss out on anything by doing the process faster, for less money and less stress. You cover the topics of a parenting plan, child custody, division of assets and debts, child support calculations, spousal support (alimony) in mediation, just as you would in litigation. Nothing is overlooked. It is time to deal with pursuing a divorce to get rid of the long-term underlying stress of staying in an unhappy marriage during a pandemic.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Learning More about Your Family Finances Before Divorce Saves Time and Money

10/16/2020

As divorce mediators, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we have seen that in many families, married couples are reluctant to discuss money issues. Sometimes one person handles all the financial decisions, pays the taxes and the bills. In other homes, the spouses keep most of their expenses and accounts separate, and don’t really share information about their assets and liabilities.

Recently, the coronavirus has created shifts of income and expenses in many homes, inspiring articles about how both spouses need to learn more about their finances in case one partner gets sick and can’t work or pay the bills. We have found that these same concepts about the importance of shared financial knowledge apply to divorcing families as well. Moreover, for divorcing couples, sharing information eliminates any suspicion of hidden assets or debts which reduces stress and helps you work together to create a fair agreement.

In divorce mediation, we help divorcing couples make sense of their financial picture. As part of that process, we go through their financial statements together to create a workable equitable plan. In divorce mediation, we tell our clients that it’s important to know a few basic things about your financial situation before you get divorced.

First, where are the important documents? You should both have log-in information for all savings, investment, and retirement accounts. You will both need to know what is out there to make a fair division of your accounts and debts. Secondly, whose name is on the accounts, the mortgage, the car title, etc. Who is the beneficiary of all your investments and life insurance policies? In our experience, starting with some simple fact-gathering upfront makes the process much easier and productive for everyone, saving time and money, and minimizing arguments down the road.

For more information about financial plans in divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

DIVORCE MEDIATION FOR THE TECH CHALLENGED DURING COVID-19

10/2/2020

Life may be extra overwhelming in our new COVID world if you are technologically challenged. You may think that you cannot get divorced during the pandemic because it is too hard to participate in virtual divorce mediation meetings. If you can check your email, then you can join the virtual meetings.

The divorce mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, can walk you through the process, step-by-step. All you have to do is show up on screen. We are currently meeting clients via Zoom. But clients are still able to drop off or pick up documents at the office from the receptionists. If you prefer, we can mail you a hard copy of the documents we look at together online during the Zoom meetings. We will not all be in the same room together but we can still get the job done.

So, don’t stay married longer than you want to because you are afraid that you can’t do virtual divorce mediation. Westfield Mediation, LLC, is here to help you. We understand that the divorce process can be overwhelming. And the technology can be overwhelming. So why would you want to combine the two? Living within a difficult marriage and wanting a divorce now, but not seeking one, is overwhelming too. We can help you cope with the technology so you can move on with your life.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

divorce and Unemployment

9/18/2020

Recently, a lot of the people who have been calling us at Westfield Mediation, LLC, to find out more about divorce mediation have found themselves newly unemployed, furloughed, laid off, or in-between jobs.

This is not surprising. First, the coronavirus virus has wreaked havoc on the economy, and many people have lost their jobs or had their hours cut substantially. In addition, dealing with financial hardships often make existing relationships much more tense and difficult, prompting couples to look into the possibility of divorce. Since divorce mediation provides a low-cost efficient alternative to expensive time-consuming divorce litigation, it’s no wonder that many married and divorced couples having financial stresses would seek us out.

In divorce mediation, we work with clients to create or revise a parenting and financial agreement that works for them. We are able to craft flexible plans for parenting schedules, child support and alimony that can be adjusted over time without returning to court.

Sometimes, our clients’ current financial situation is worse than usual and does not well represent their potential earnings, or their financial history together. In these cases, we can work with them to create economic terms that work for now, and that can be modified if and when their circumstances change, as the economy slowly improves. Having a workable plan in place is key to reducing everyone’s stress during the current hard times.

For more information about divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

A NEW SCHOOL YEAR LIKE NO OTHER

9/4/2020

The new school year is upon us. It is like no other. Some districts are remaining virtual for the foreseeable future. Some are trying a hybrid model, with some in-person learning coupled with remote learning. A few schools are returning to all day every day in person model. Does this new normal mess up your childcare plans? Does this new normal mess up your parenting plan or child support? When the pandemic first started and schools and jobs went virtual, everyone was flying by the seat of their pants to make life work and hoping it would not last that long. Now that it seems this new normal is becoming normal, do you need to re-examine your parenting plan or child support calculations.

The divorce mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, can help you come to an agreement about a new normal with regards to a parenting plan that is best for parent’s work schedule and children’s school schedule. This new parenting plan may alter your child support calculations for now. Or what if your parenting plan is staying the same but your income has drastically changed because of COVID-19? Do you need help to recalculate the child support amount based on your new normal level of income?

A divorce mediator can help you resolve these issues quickly and in a cost-effective manner. You only pay for the time that you use and no retainer is required. You can get some quick relief by using mediation to efficiently resolve these important matters.

For more information on divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

The Benefits of Online Mediation

8/21/2020

For the past ten years, the mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC have been telling clients about the advantages of divorce mediation over costly, stressful divorce litigation. Now, we have found that virtual divorce mediation offers these benefits plus some added conveniences.

Divorce mediation offers numerous advantages over litigation. For example, divorce mediation moves more quickly than litigation, taking a few short weeks instead of years. It is also cheaper; and instead of requiring an expensive retainer, we give clients the opportunity to pay as they go, allowing them to schedule meetings in a way that works for their budgets. The mediation process is confidential; it gives more control over the process to the couple; and it promotes a better relationship for you and your family going forward.

Since March, the Coronavirus has forced us to move our practice online, and we have seen many of the benefits of online or virtual mediation. Online mediation allows couples to participate in divorce mediation without having to be in the same room – or even the same state – which reduces conflict. In addition, it opens up better scheduling options since no travel or babysitting is required. Moreover, the tech part is simple – you can participate on any device, including your phone. Overall, virtual mediation allows couples to take advantage of the many benefits of divorce mediation with several added conveniences.

For more information about divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

IT IS SAFE TO GET DIVORCED DURING COVID-19

8/7/2020

There are lots of stories about people delaying seeking medical care because of their fear of getting the coronavirus. I see public service announcements urging people to take care of themselves and get the help they need; it is safe to do so. The same applies if you are unhappy in your marriage and want to get divorced. While the courts remain primarily closed for in-person proceedings, it is possible to have video meetings, submit paperwork online or mail in your court documents. The court docket is finding a way to move along.

If you used divorce mediators to reach your divorce agreement then you only have to “show up” in court one time for your uncontested divorce- the day your divorce is finalized. Divorce Mediation is a court recognized settlement process. So, in some areas of New Jersey there are times when your attorney can represent you in court and you don’t have to go at all. If you want to represent yourself in court you can complete all the paperwork yourself and show up for court in your home for a virtual meeting on your scheduled day. You can get more information about the court process here and a divorce self-help guide from Legal Services of New Jersey here.

Now you are able to move forward with your divorce from the comfort of your own home. And if you need help taking the first step you can call the helpful divorce mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC. Currently we are having all meetings virtually. So, take care of yourself and don’t put off getting a divorce if that is your intention. It is safe to do so.

For more information on divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Child Support and Coronavirus

7/24/2020

With all the layoffs, furloughs and unemployment accompanying the Covid-19 pandemic, many divorced couples are wondering how this impacts child support obligations. Are existing child support orders still enforceable? Can you change them if your employment situation is up in the air?

Generally speaking, the Courts hold that child support must still be paid even if the payers lose their jobs. However, parents can go to Court to modify existing orders. At the proceedings, they must be able to show a substantial change of circumstances. Specifically, the person seeking the change has to prove that the change in the parties’ financial situations is both substantial and continuing, in other words, not just a temporary setback.

Of course, the Court processes used to make these changes move slowly, especially now with the Covid-19 delays clogging the system. At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we suggest to our post-divorce mediation clients that they can work out an interim arrangement between themselves while they wait to make it official. Similarly, if your child support plan was based on your child living away at college, and now he/she is living at home, you can work together to create a plan in mediation to account for your differing expenses in the short term. Divorce mediation and post-divorce mediation can be done relatively quickly allowing you to make the adjustments together now that will take longer to process in Court.

For more information about divorce mediation or post-divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

COVID PARENTING

7/10/2020

With graduation upon us, many divorcing parents are wondering, what if my child has a game or performance and it’s not during my parenting time. Can I go? Regardless of which parent has designated parenting time when, we think either parent should be able to attend his/her child’s events. Parents do not necessarily have to sit together, although it is nice if you can so your child does not have to choose which direction to look first for which parent, but you both can go. If a graduation or a school play falls during one parent’s parenting time, the other parent is still able to attend.

This is something that is standard and stressed in all of Westfield Mediation’s Memorandum of Understanding agreements. Now, in the age of COVID-19, each parent can merely join the live stream or click on the Zoom link, like all parents do, regardless of their marital status and living situation. You blend right in with the countless other squares watching the virtual school concert or graduation ceremony. You can sit socially distant from your co-parent with your mask on at the next soccer game. No one is judging you. You blend in with all of the other masked attendees sitting six feet apart.

Still, eventually when life returns to in-person attendance without social distancing at your children’s events, you can rest assured that the mediators at Westfield Mediation made it clear when you were getting divorced that the more involved both parents are the better, regardless of parenting time. Either parent may attend any and all events regarding the children. This is clearly stated in their divorce agreement.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.