Our Divorce Mediation Blog

Starting Fresh in December

11/30/2023

Remember in the beginning of the year when you said 2023 would be the year that you move on from an unhappy marriage and start fresh? Well, now it is December and there is no reason not to begin divorce mediation now.

For many people, December is the time that they complete the plans that they created earlier in the year. For couples considering divorce mediation, there is no time like the present. Divorce mediation offers an affordable alternative to expensive adversarial litigation and gets you where you want to be faster with less drama. Starting now will allow you to begin the new year in a better, less stressful place.

At Westfield Mediation, the divorce mediation process generally takes 4-6 one-hour sessions in which we develop both parenting and financial plans for your family’s future. For clients with children, we make weekly and holiday schedules, and we create a framework for addressing all of the issues that arise with having kids -- vacations, school, extra-curricular activities, religion, health, driving, college, etc. -- as well as how to pay for it all.

On the financial side, we help divorcing couples divide their assets and debts fairly and equitably with fewer arguments. We also craft an agreement for spousal support (alimony) in situations where such support is warranted. By breaking the divorce process into small manageable steps in divorce mediation, we make an overwhelming idea that you contemplated earlier in the year into a doable plan that you are making happen now.

The mediation process can move as slowly or quickly as clients choose. Many people space their appointments about two weeks apart, making the whole thing last about two months. Others prefer to move more quickly or slowly – the pace is really up to you. But getting started on divorce mediation now ensures that you will find yourself next year in the place that you hoped to be.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908-913-0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

IF YOU ARE A NUMBERS PERSON THEN THIS IS THE BLOG FOR YOU!

11/16/2023

If you are a numbers person then this is the blog for you! The IRS just released the new standard deduction amounts and income tax brackets for the 2024 tax year that will be used when you file your taxes by April 15 of 2025. How exciting!

Why does a divorce mediator or people getting divorced at any point in 2024 care about this? During the divorce mediation process, it benefits both parties getting divorced to make smart financial decisions. Divorcing couples want to keep more money in their own pockets rather than pay it to Uncle Sam in taxes because of the choices they make pursuant to their divorce. These new amounts may affect your decision to take the standard deduction or to itemize your tax deductions. You can find more detailed information about filing taxes after a divorce or separation directly from the horse’s mouth- the IRS.

So, numbers person, here are the new parameters for standard deductions:

For individuals and married people filing separately, the new federal standard deduction will increase to $14,600, up from $13,850 in 2023.

For married couples filing jointly, the standard deduction will increase to $29,200, up from $27,700.

For people who file as Head of Household, the standard deduction will increase to $21,900, up from $20,800.

But wait, there is more. When calculating child support, you need to decide who is claiming the children for tax purposes (a tax credit) and what is your status (Single or Head of Household). When computing child support during the divorce mediation process, taxable income is used. And, there are seven tax brackets to determine taxable income.

These brackets establish the rate at which your income is incrementally taxed. The parentheses represent the amount for married couples filing jointly. For 2024 here they are:

10%- Income up to $11,600 ($23,200 for married couples filing jointly)

12%- Income over $11,600 ($23,200)

22%- Income over $47,150 ($94,300)

24%- Income over $100,525 ($201,050)

32%- Income over $191,950 ($383,900)

35%- Income over $243,725 ($487,450)

37%- Income over $609,350 ($731,200)

These amounts are your taxable income. Taxable income takes into account the tax deductions you take (401(k), charitable donations, etc.) In plain English, the first $11,600 of your yearly gross taxable income is taxed at 10%. Your income of $11,600-$47,150 is taxed at a rate of 12% and so on and so on. Your entire salary is not taxed at the highest rate, only the portion that falls into that bracket. And hopefully not all of your salary is your taxable income because you qualify for various tax breaks. Lots to think about. Great information if you are a numbers person.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Housing Issues in Divorce

11/1/2023

Current high mortgage interest rates are making people considering divorce think twice about their next steps. Right now, it is a hard time for borrowers, with interest rates several points higher than they were during the pandemic. At Westfield Mediation, LLC, many prospective divorce mediation clients are calling and asking us how they can proceed with divorce if they can’t afford to move out of their current home and rent or buy a new one. We reassure them that in divorce mediation, we discuss all of the options so that no one feels stuck in their current situation because of financial worries.

In divorce mediation, we spend a lot of time discussing where the parties will live after divorce. If the couple owns their home, we need to create a reasonable plan for how will they move forward. For many families, the marital home is their biggest asset, and one or both partners may want to sell it to have the cash on hand to finance their new life. Each party can use the proceeds from the sale of the home to buy or rent something different and/or more affordable. We always remind our clients that for many people, the first place they live post-divorce is not necessarily where they will ultimately end up – but may be more of an interim step while they adjust to their new circumstances post-divorce.

In other divorce mediation cases, one party moves out and the other stays in the marital home. In these cases, one spouse may assume the mortgage and pay the other spouse their equity in the home. Often times, this may require the party keeping the house in the divorce agreement to refinance the mortgage in their name only.

Recently, as the costs of refinancing have gone up, many divorcing couples are agreeing to own their home together for a set amount of time – maybe until the kids graduate high school—and setting a future date for the house sale. They may continue to jointly own the home but only one party remains living in the marital home. In these scenarios, we make sure that we address in mediation all of the issues around home ownership – mortgage, insurance, maintenance, utilities, repairs, taxes, etc. to minimize any disputes between the ex-spouses during the post-divorce ownership period.

One of the main benefits of divorce mediation is that it provides divorcing couples with an opportunity to hash out different ideas and possibilities in a comfortable environment with a neutral mediator. The current higher mortgage rates make these conversations especially important. In mediation, parties can work together calmly and productively to reach a post-divorce housing plan that makes sense for their family.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

CAN YOU USE A DIVORCE MEDIATOR TO DEVELOP A SEPARATION AGREEMENT?

10/20/2023

What if you want a trial separation before pursuing a full divorce? A sort of mini-step along the way. Can you use a divorce mediator to develop a separation agreement in New Jersey? The short, simple answer is yes. The more complicated answer is that there is actually no official status of being legally separated in New Jersey. So how can a divorce mediator help? A divorce mediator is a neutral third party that can help guide the couple to address all of the issues that they want included in their separation agreement. These topics tend to be all of the same topics that are in a divorce agreement- a parenting plan, a financial plan and support plan.

More specifically, the parenting plan would detail who has parenting time when during a typical week, what happens during special occasions and holidays, religious upbringing, extra-curricular activities, vacation plans, college education costs and so much more. The financial plan is a division of your marital assets and debts. What is happening now and/or in the future with the house, mortgage, bank accounts, investments, retirement funds, credit card debt, car loans, student loans, household bills and so much more. The issue of support can be a big one during a trial separation. How will you now support two households utilizing the same income? You will address child support and spousal support (alimony) payments and other expenses. Child support can cover basic expenses like housing and food but how are you paying for travel soccer? These are real life questions that you need answers to before starting to live apart.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, the divorce mediators understand your situation. You want to have certain protections in place before living apart. You don’t want to be left in the lurch or on the hook for an unrealistic expectation. There is also great value in creating and actually living a separation agreement so that you know what works/doesn’t work in real life. Then you can tweak the agreement along the way before it is an official plan. The mediators create a document called a Memorandum of Understanding. This is a fancy term for a report that reflects the agreements you have reached in mediation. The couple can take this document and use it now as a separation agreement between themselves or they can use it later to pursue a divorce through the court system. That next step is done outside of mediation and up to the couple to decide which avenue to go down.

For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

Getting Ready for Mediation

10/5/2023

The first meeting for divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC is an introduction to the process. We explain the steps of the divorce process and how divorce mediation works and answer any questions that clients bring to the session. When scheduling this appointment, we tell prospective clients that they don’t need to bring anything with them because it is really just an introduction. Still, if you do want to get ready for divorce mediation, there are a few things you can do to prepare.

On the parenting side, it can be helpful to start considering what type of parenting plan would work best for your family. Most parents share parenting time and need to factor in their children’s school and activities as well as their own work schedules. Because raising the kids in two homes is often a big change, it may also be useful to start wrapping your head around the idea of creating a new set-up. As a result, once divorce mediation begins you may feel more emotionally ready to find a way to develop a plan, keeping in mind that the focus must be on the best interest of your children.

For the financial plan, to get ready, you can start collecting your banking, investments, credit card, mortgage and tax statements, etc., so that you have a better idea of your assets and debts. We will come up with a plan for dividing everything fairly in mediation, but it can be useful to know what’s out there. Similarly, it is valuable to know where you are spending your money each month. Working on a budget will give you a better sense of how much income you will need to maintain your lifestyle after divorce.

In divorce mediation, we break down the process into small steps so that it is not overwhelming. We work together to create a fair plan that works for your family. Doing a little mental preparation and starting the legwork of gathering of financial documents may make you feel more prepared for moving forward.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

IN DIVORCE MEDIATION PROGRESS CAN BE SUBJECTIVE

9/21/2023

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In divorce mediation progress can be subjective. A couple I am working with recently made a lot of decisions about their parenting plan. They decided on a day-to-day plan for their young children. They determined who would be the parent-on-duty for their youngest child when he was not in daycare and who was picking up their older child from school each day and everything in between. They figured out the holidays they wanted to designate and how they would be celebrating them in the future. They addressed religious upbringing, extra-curricular activities, health care needs, communication with the children and between themselves and so much more, all within one meeting of mediation. At the end of the meeting, I casually commented that they really made a lot of progress.

The party who does not want to get divorced did not think so. In their eyes, they were actually moving in the wrong direction. They do not want to be making these decisions about how to live apart and have their children grow up in two homes. They want to be going to marriage counseling and reconciling. I am sympathetic and understand their position. For as much as you don’t want to get divorced, if your spouse wants to get divorced, you will be getting a divorced. It does not take two in this situation. If one person wants it, the other person is forced into getting a divorced. In the big picture it is better to live in a society where if one person wants to get divorced then it will happen rather than living in a society where a person who wants to get divorced is forced to stay in an unhappy, perhaps even abusive, marriage because the other person wants to stay married.

My client is also realistic and pragmatic and knows that all of these life details need to be addressed. They are reluctantly accepting this situation rather than burying their head in the sand and wishing it were not happening. They are making these decisions for their children and themselves, albeit begrudgingly. And they are doing it in divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC. They are trying to make a difficult situation a little bit easier. By using a divorce mediator, they are maintaining control and having input into these important life decisions. Divorce mediation is scheduled at your convenience, so you can proceed as quickly or as slowly as needed. A divorce mediator facilitates the process of discussing options with their co-parent and promotes a more amicable post-divorce co-parenting relationship. A divorce mediator helps keep the cost of getting a divorce down and the lines of communications open. The client is able to make good decisions, even if they don’t want to be.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

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End of Summer, A Time for New Beginnings

9/7/2023

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September always seems to me to be the time for transitions and new beginnings. As divorce mediators, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we work closely with our clients to prepare for the various changes happening during this time of year.

For example, as part of the divorce mediation process, we guide our clients to create parenting plans; and September is often the time when divorcing parents switch from the summer parenting plan to the school-year parenting plan. Fall also starts the holiday season, and as part of crafting the parenting plan in divorce mediation, we help divorcing parents allocate the autumn days off from school like the Jewish holidays, Indigenous People’s Day, New Jersey teacher’s convention break and Veterans Day. Plus, we remind them to create a plan for Halloween - specifically, who is going to the school parade and trick-or-treating. Deciding all of these issues preemptively in divorce mediation helps minimize conflict down the road.

For divorcing parents of older children attending college, the fall semester usually begins around now. We help these divorcing parents develop plans to navigate the school schedule. In addition, we work with them to determine how to cover college expenses as well as the costs of living when the kids return home for breaks.

For divorce mediation clients with and without children, September often brings more demanding work schedules after the lazier days of summer which impacts both their flexibility and income. Financial plans created in mediation take into account these seasonal shifts.

Finally, for our mediator coaching clients, September begins the busy season when more clients are hoping to get divorced by year-end and are seeking assistance. We are available to assist these new mediators either to launch their new businesses effectively or to maintain their existing ones productively.

Changes can be both exciting and scary. At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we work closely with our clients to prepare them for these transitions.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

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Can Nesting Work?

8/24/2023

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Can nesting work? Justin Trudeau (Prime Minister of Canada) and Sophie Gregoire Trudeau sure hope so. Their children will remain living in their home in Ottawa with their father, while their mother has moved to her own residence nearby. When the Prime Minister is away on state business (which occurs somewhat regularly), Sophie will move back in to take on primary parenting duties. The kids don’t move in or out of the home--the parents do. The children remain in the proverbial nest.

Typically, neither parent claims the nest as their primary residence and both parents alternate being the parent in the nest. The Trudeaus have particularly unique circumstances in which the Prime Minister remains in the nest and only Sophie rotates in and out of the nest. Nesting can be your solution when you want to have minimal disruption to the children. No child is packing up their stuff to move out of the home or between two homes -- they go to the same school, participate in the same extra-curricular activities, see the same doctor and have the same friends as before. Sounds great in theory.

In reality, there are a lot of logistics to work out when nesting. This is where divorce mediation can be a huge help. At Westfield Mediation, LLC, you can develop a plan before you get separated or divorced to address your post-divorce nesting lifestyle: what are the details involved and how to financially pay for it.

If you can afford it, then each parent may want to get their own small place to reside in when they are out of the nest. This arrangement involves having three households to financially support. More often, the non-nest is a small one-bedroom apartment close by that each parent utilizes when they are out of the family home. Parents should treat the non-nest like an Airbnb and make sure there are fresh sheets on the bed, garbage and dishwasher are empty, staple of food items are available and it is clean. They should also leave the nest in the same clean, proper working order. How do you handle grocery shopping, laundry, chores, pets, maintenance issues, lawn care, etc., for the nest? What if you have a new partner or want to bring a date back to the non-nest? These types of issues should be addressed beforehand and can be in mediation. The reality of nesting is--it is a lot of work.

For more information about nesting and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

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Steps to Make Divorce Mediation Move Faster

8/10/2023

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Sometimes clients come to divorce mediation and they are in a hurry to move ahead. Their reasons vary. In some instances, one of the soon to be ex-spouses is moving or starting a new job. Other times, the parties want to resolve their financial issues within the tax year. Or maybe, they are just ready and want to get it done. Luckily, in many ways, the pace of mediation is up to the clients. Divorce mediation can go as slowly or as quickly as you would like.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we meet with clients for 4-6 one-hour sessions where we address parenting and child custody, the division of marital assets and liabilities, child support and spousal support (alimony). In most cases, clients meet every two weeks or so, and then file for divorce when the mediation process is complete. The lag-time between filing and the hearing with the judge who issues the divorce order can be two-three months. (Of course, this timeline may vary based on the calendar of your local county court). So, based on this timetable, we tell clients that for most people it takes 5-6 months from the beginning of divorce mediation through the end of the process. This estimate is significantly shorter than the 12-24 months it usually takes for a litigated divorce.

However, for clients with a tight deadline, things can move much more quickly. We can schedule longer mediation sessions closer together, finishing the process in one month instead of two. This is especially doable when both spouses work together well and focus on the paperwork and decision-making needed to move ahead. In addition, to expedite the divorce process, clients who intend to use divorce lawyers to review their proposed agreement and file their paperwork should line these attorneys up early. Finally, instead of waiting to file for divorce with the Court at the end of the mediation process, clients can file while also attending mediation, starting the clock at the Court.

By taking these kinds of proactive steps, clients who are trying to move ahead quickly can reap the benefits of divorce mediation while meeting their goal of a speedy separation plan.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

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DIVORCE AGREEMENTS AND YOUR CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS

7/27/2023

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There are many decisions that must be made when you are getting a divorce. These tend to be common to most people- what is happening with your kids, house, bank accounts, retirement funds, credit card debt, etc., or how much will I pay/receive in alimony (spousal support) and child support? There are many more than this as well. And we cover all of it during the process of divorce mediation. You don’t miss out on anything by using a divorce mediator rather than a divorce attorney. But there can be an extra layer of questions to address when you have a child that has special needs. And we address these concerns too to help you make sure your child is being taken care of now and in the future.

And while we address these needs in divorce mediation there are steps you must take outside of mediation to follow through on the agreement. Does your child have a special needs trust? Who will be the guardian of your adult child if you pass away? Have you applied for disability? Who is paying for what (therapy, dietary needs, doctors, activities, etc.)? Do you have to set up an ABLE account for child support payments? Who is being notified of the IEP meetings? We can ask all of these questions but it is up to you to implement the answers. And if you are not sure how to do this or whom to speak to, we can point you in the right direction.

The divorce mediators at Westfield Mediation can add this extra layer of plans into your Memorandum of Understanding agreement. If you say nothing in your divorce agreement about the requirements for your child with special needs, then you may have problems in the future if you and your co-parent are in disagreement about something. It is better to have these particulars areas covered in your agreement and not need it, then need it and not have it.

For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

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Authors

Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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