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summer vacations

8/23/2019

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Now is often the time for summer vacations, and during divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we always ask clients about how they want to include family vacations in their post-divorce parenting plan.  Of course, vacations need not be a big expensive trip away – sometimes they just involve an opportunity for each parent to have some extended time with the kids.

Generally, divorcing parents want to keep some of the same plans that they have had before they were divorced. So, for example, if they usually take a week with the kids down the shore, or attend an Independence Day barbecue with family, they want to keep that consistency.  In mediation, we suggest that divorcing parents make their vacation plans a few months before summer begins to give both parents time and notice, and we put safeguards in their agreement so that there are no disputes about who gets which week for his/her plan. 

Sometimes, when clients have long-term traditions of spending time with family or family friends over the summer, it can be difficult to decide whether and how to alter these traditions. Can you both still go? Do you need to alternate years? Do you need to come up with a totally different plan, so no one feels left out? By addressing these issues in divorce mediation, we work to resolve them sooner rather than later to minimize future disagreements. With productive, early communication, both you and your children can have a fun-filled summer. 

​For more information on parenting plans or divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. 
 
 
 
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THE MORE YOU PUT IN WRITING NOW

8/9/2019

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The more you put in writing now, when you are having a friendly divorce, the less chance there is for any fighting down the road if you happen to have a less friendly post-divorce.  Sometimes our clients want an open parenting plan with nothing specifically written about who spends time where. They will just work it out because they get along and continue to plan to do so.  And that is great and can work…. until it isn’t great and does not work.

It is hard to predict the future. What if you both have new partners down the road whose extended family makes a huge deal about Thanksgiving and you both want the kids for Thanksgiving Day? You are no longer spending the day together as you originally thought when you got divorced.  What if you both have shore houses booked for the same week? Whose responsibility is it to follow through with and pay for the QDRO to divide that retirement fund?  These are the issues you can address in mediation to avoid any confusion in the future, rather than just say we will work it out as needed.

The parts of your divorce agreement that you think are not necessary are like insurance, it is good to have but you hope that you will never need it.  If you make plans now, when things are relatively good, you can avoid any potential disagreements in the future.  Oh…it says in our divorce agreement that Jane is paying for and filing for the QDRO.  No discussion needed.  Oh…it says in our divorce agreement that John gets first pick this year for summer vacation.  The kids are going to his rental beach house.  No fighting needed.  At Westfield Mediation, LLC, our mediators address these potential pitfalls.  It is better to have a fallback plan and never need it then have no fallback plan and need one. 
​
To learn more about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373.  View our website at  www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. 

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    Authors

    Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

    Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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