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Why Are These People Getting Divorced?

5/2/2014

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How did we end up here?  As a divorce mediator, I do understand that usually one if not both of the people using my services asks themselves this question.  People do not think they will get divorced when they get married, even though statistics say otherwise.  Many clients actually get along quite well with one another and we do sometimes wonder why are these people getting divorced and how did they end up in our office. 

While my background is in marriage and family therapy and I am trained to examine how people interact and their relationship health, I am very cognizant of using these skills for mediation purposes only.  While I do ask the couples I work with if they are sure divorce is their goal and not reconciliation, I never attempt to do any therapy with them.  Some couples laugh, joke around and communicate quite well in our office and easily develop a fair divorce agreement with minimal animosity, yet still do not want to remain married.  They get along very well, seem comfortable with one another and enjoy being around each other.  As a divorce mediator, as long as there is no concern for abuse or neglect, it is none of my business what caused the couple to want to end their marriage and they don’t have to tell me if they don’t want to share this information. 

Couples who do have this pleasant, functioning relationship are ideal candidates for mediation.  Divorce mediation allows the couple to meet together with the mediator and have direct communication with one another to decide all the areas of the divorce agreement.  The couple will develop a parenting plan, and address the division of assets and debts, child support and alimony. Because they are meeting with one professional together, instead of two divorce attorneys separately, they save time, money and promote the continuation of their seemingly amicable relationship. 

For more information about Divorce Mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

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    Authors

    Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

    Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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