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Taking the Embarassment Out of Divorce

10/12/2011

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Taking the Embarrassment Out of Divorce 

When I asked the leader of a community organization about bringing a workshop on divorce mediation to his group, he said, “No one will go.  No one wants to admit publicly that he or she is getting divorced.” Is that true? And if so, why?

People go to de-cluttering workshops -- admitting publicly that they need help keeping their house from getting too messy; they go to parenting workshops, and everyone then knows that they don’t have all the answers about raising kids; they go to disease prevention workshops – for all sorts of diseases – just to keep informed and healthy.  So why is it embarrassing to seek help ending a serious relationship?

With statistics showing that almost half of all marriages end in divorce, it is puzzling that people view it as a personal failure that cannot be discussed among others.  Instead, couples should be praised for seeking information on making the process less painful for themselves and their family.  At divorce mediation workshops, experts explain the divorce process, how mediation works, and how people can best prepare for their new lives – both financially and emotionally.  All valuable information. Moreover, seeing other people with similar issues can be very comforting. Couples who go through mediation often have the least acrimonious, least devastating divorces And there is nothing embarrassing about that. 

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    Authors

    Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

    Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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