For many families there is a tradition to gift giving. A grab bag for all of the cousins/aunts/uncles. Adopt a child in need to support each year. One small gift each night for Chanukah. One big gift each year per child for Christmas. Whatever you may celebrate and how you celebrate it has been established…until you get divorced. Now you may need an entirely new way of gift giving.
At Westfield Mediation this issue is discussed by our expert divorce mediators no matter when you get divorced during the year, not just at holiday time. The divorce mediators bring it up as a topic to be addressed because after a divorce it is important to lay the foundation for the co-parents and their children. The divorce mediator will point out that other people, not them of course, have tried to make up for lost time with the kids by overindulging them with lavish presents. A parent may feel guilty about the divorce and try ease their guilt with gifts for the children. Or one co-parent has more disposable income and can afford more extravagant offerings. But just because you can afford it will you buy it? Should gifts continue to be given from the both of you? Does it make sense to coordinate who is buying which present? Perhaps you can both afford expensive items but does your child need two of the latest iPhone because you both had the same brilliant idea but did not tell each other? Lots to consider for gifts for special occasions- holidays, graduations, birthdays. The topic of gifts is not just for the holiday season when you are divorced.
For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at email@example.com.