The main quality a person needs to have in order for divorce mediation to be successful is the ability to make realistic decisions. Often people come to mediation with a whole host of feelings- anger, sadness, shock, fear, etc. And each of these feelings may be felt stronger at different times in the process. But if these feelings are so overpowering that they freeze your ability to make a rational decision, then mediation might not be the best option for you right now. Even when you are so angry that your spouse had an affair, which is very understandable, you may still have to consider the idea that the kids will spend time with your co-parent. If this concept is off the table because of your feelings about what s/he did but you still really want to participate in mediation, then it may be useful to seek outside sources. A therapist or a divorce coach can help you cope with all of the emotions when getting divorced, so you can more effectively participate in mediation.
Many decisions need to be made when getting a divorce. Some of them seem relatively straight forward, like I’ll keep my car and you keep your car. And some of them much more complex. But all of these decisions need to be made. We find that most people in mediation actually agree about most things. There are usually only one or two sticking points that require some give and take by both parties. However, if you are unable to make any decisions on your own, a possible next step is to use a divorce attorney who would advocate for your best interests.
Divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation helps you take control of the process. You are able to make these important decisions for your future. But you also have to be reasonable. You cannot expect to walk away with extreme excess of what would happen if you went to court and had a trial. For example, you won’t budge and want 100% of the parenting time, when the starting point is generally 50%-50% parenting time. During mediation you may compromise to 70%-30% of parenting time, which is less than your ideal but still way more than a judge might apply. You are still allowed to have all the feelings when participating in divorce mediation, but you also have to be able to make important decisions while feeling them.
For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.
Many decisions need to be made when getting a divorce. Some of them seem relatively straight forward, like I’ll keep my car and you keep your car. And some of them much more complex. But all of these decisions need to be made. We find that most people in mediation actually agree about most things. There are usually only one or two sticking points that require some give and take by both parties. However, if you are unable to make any decisions on your own, a possible next step is to use a divorce attorney who would advocate for your best interests.
Divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation helps you take control of the process. You are able to make these important decisions for your future. But you also have to be reasonable. You cannot expect to walk away with extreme excess of what would happen if you went to court and had a trial. For example, you won’t budge and want 100% of the parenting time, when the starting point is generally 50%-50% parenting time. During mediation you may compromise to 70%-30% of parenting time, which is less than your ideal but still way more than a judge might apply. You are still allowed to have all the feelings when participating in divorce mediation, but you also have to be able to make important decisions while feeling them.
For more information on divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.