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The Divorce Rate Myths

12/26/2014

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In the last few weeks, the media has been full of new interpretations of the divorce rate, many of which are showing that the commonly-held belief that 50% of marriages end in divorce is a myth.  It seems that the truth is that rate is much lower.  The downward trend for divorce is especially notable for highly educated couples who marry later.  In addition, in recent years, more people are living together without marrying, and the ending of these relationships do not result in divorce. Notably, one group where the divorce rate has increased is for older couples. With longer life expectancies, the incidence of so-called “gray divorce” Is up.

Still, divorce statistics may not be that compelling to divorcing couples.  Indeed, statistics about the rate of divorce for all couples may not seem that important to individuals whose own marriage is ending.  In these cases, couples are thinking about how to best get their own family through this difficult time, rather than about how many of their friends, neighbors, or acquaintances are also divorcing.   

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we offer a better way through divorce.  We provide divorce mediation services, offering our clients a lower-cost, less stressful alternative to litigation.   A trained, impartial mediator works with each couple to create a personalized agreement on parenting, alimony and division of assets and debts.  Unlike litigation, divorce mediation moves quickly and focuses on resolution.  This approach minimizes stress and conflict for the couple and their children. The best way to get through divorce is not to be overwhelmed by statistics, but instead to focus on the needs of your family and your future.

For more information about Divorce Mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. 

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Splitting Up The Money

12/12/2014

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In divorce mediation, parents are usually able to make joint decisions relatively easily about the parenting plan.  Many couples have already discussed a general plan for their children living in two separate households before starting mediation.  At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help them iron out all the specifics and develop a realistic plan.  From there, we move on to finances.  This is where it tends to get sticky. 

Many couples cannot discuss money as easily as they can discuss their children’s welfare.  Of course parents love their children, but they can be more emotional about their money.  Maybe because they think that they will still get to be with their children but not get to be with their money?  If you see your kids next week instead of this one, you will still see them.  But, if you “lose” your money you will never get it back.  Divorce mediators understand how passionate people can feel about their money.  We are there to help you understand how the divorce process works and how the courts see “your money”.  Sometimes, people are shocked and feel violated that the money s/he earned from his/her job and put in his/her 401k is not all his/hers.  Actually, it is a marital asset and can be divided equally between the spouses.  But it does not have to be. 

During divorce mediation, we can help the couple develop a feasible division of their assets and debts that is fair and equitable.  Fair and equitable does not necessarily have to mean 50% split down the middle.  You have some flexibility about your various accounts.  Obviously, it is not fair for one person to get all the assets and one person to get all the debts.  But it can work out that one person keeps their entire 401k and takes less equity from the house.  Each person in the couple needs to decide what will work for their future and then the mediator can help them divvy it up.

For more information about divorce mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. 




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    Authors

    Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

    Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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