The presents are unwrapped, the relatives gone home, the credit cards maxed out, the holiday season is winding down. The most wonderful time of the year?

Maybe for some people. But for those people who feel trapped in an unhappy marriage, the holidays are often one of the most difficult times of the year.  And the extra expenses that pile up this time of year make divorce seem that much less affordable.

So what to do?  One good option is divorce mediation.  Using a mediator to get divorced is way less expensive than going to a lawyer.  In divorce mediation, the couple meets with one person who helps them come to a fair agreement that both people can live with.  Instead of each person hiring his/her own lawyer and paying their high hourly rates for each meeting, each email, and each telephone call between the lawyers, the divorcing couple uses one mediator at a lower hourly rate to get the job done.  Studies show that divorce through mediation can cost $7,500 from start to finish as compared to ten times that amount -- $75,000 – when both husband and wife hire their own lawyers. 

But is cheaper better?  In this case, it is.  Divorce mediation is not only cheaper than litigation, it is also faster, more private - no public record in court, meetings are confidential - and better for the post-divorce relationship.

No question that divorce is an extra expense.  But staying in an unhappy marriage has high costs as well.  Before you write off divorce as something you can’t afford right now, consider divorce mediation.   

- Randi M. Albert

This is the year.  This really is the year.  This really is the year to (fill in the blank) go to the gym, stop smoking, yell less at my kids, eat at home more, finally get out of my unhappy marriage.  You are ready to make a change.  It is not always easy. If it were easy you would have made the change a long time ago.  Sometimes you need some divorce support and that is okay.  Talk to others, do your research.  Find out what it will take to make these changes.  But if not now, when? 

The New Year, the new you.  This is not a new concept. It is not a coincidence that gym membership and gym attendance increase dramatically every January.  Now if only the change would stick.  Well, if you are thinking about getting or going through a divorce then some permanent changes are in store for you.  You are creating a new you, either due to your choice or forced upon you by your spouse’s choice.  Now is the time to jumpstart your new life.

I was watching a comedian on TV last night discuss his divorce.  When he announced he got divorced after 10 years of marriage and two kids the audience responded by sighing a collective AWWWW!  He immediately chastised the audience and went on to explain that he does not want their pity and divorce is not a tragedy.  He talked about how no blissfully happy marriage ends in divorce.  It happens absolutely zero times.  If a blissfully happy marriage ended in divorce it would be a tragedy and deserve an AWWWW.  But his unhappy marriage ended and it is a cause for celebration.  The audience applauded him while laughing at the truth of his statements.  If you are unhappy you can make a change.  If not now, when?

So it is time to celebrate the New Year and the new you. 

- Michelle Weinberg, LMFT