How can a divorce mediator help couples resolve an impasse when the divorce mediator stays neutral and does not take sides? The couple has been going around and around on the issue repeatedly fighting about it (parenting plan, money, alimony, etc.) and is making no progress. What can a mediator add to the mix so decisions can get made?
At Westfield Mediation, LLC, our mediators are prepared with a “toolbox” for divorce to address a wide variety of issues. There are resources that a mediator uses to help make things clearer for clients. It may be as straightforward as mapping out a potential parenting plan on a blank 4-week schedule. This helps the couple see visibly on a handout who is responsible for the kids when. It also plainly shows how long you go with/without seeing your children. This tool then makes it simpler to move things around until you arrive at a resolution that both co-parents can abide by. Or sometimes the mediator will encourage co-parents to use an ongoing resource, even once they are divorced. A handy app, like Our Family Wizard https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/ helps co-parents figure things out that constantly come up with kids that parents want to know. For example: expenses for the kids (school pictures, coaches gift, field trip), sharing general info (what shoe size is Jack now), or to commemorate a unique situation (Jane finally lost her tooth today). These are just a few examples of the resources that the divorce mediator has in her handy toolbox, ready to share with clients, that the clients don’t know about sitting in their kitchen arguing with one another.
Once the mediator passes on these tools to you, you can continue to have a successful relationship with your co-parent once mediation is completed. It reminds me of the adage- give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. You need mediation to learn how to fish. Sitting in your kitchen fighting with one another or not speaking to one another at all about these issues gets you neither. But after mediation you will continue to feed yourself with the tools you learned in mediation.
For more information on divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.
At Westfield Mediation, LLC, our mediators are prepared with a “toolbox” for divorce to address a wide variety of issues. There are resources that a mediator uses to help make things clearer for clients. It may be as straightforward as mapping out a potential parenting plan on a blank 4-week schedule. This helps the couple see visibly on a handout who is responsible for the kids when. It also plainly shows how long you go with/without seeing your children. This tool then makes it simpler to move things around until you arrive at a resolution that both co-parents can abide by. Or sometimes the mediator will encourage co-parents to use an ongoing resource, even once they are divorced. A handy app, like Our Family Wizard https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/ helps co-parents figure things out that constantly come up with kids that parents want to know. For example: expenses for the kids (school pictures, coaches gift, field trip), sharing general info (what shoe size is Jack now), or to commemorate a unique situation (Jane finally lost her tooth today). These are just a few examples of the resources that the divorce mediator has in her handy toolbox, ready to share with clients, that the clients don’t know about sitting in their kitchen arguing with one another.
Once the mediator passes on these tools to you, you can continue to have a successful relationship with your co-parent once mediation is completed. It reminds me of the adage- give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. You need mediation to learn how to fish. Sitting in your kitchen fighting with one another or not speaking to one another at all about these issues gets you neither. But after mediation you will continue to feed yourself with the tools you learned in mediation.
For more information on divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373. View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.
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