Sometimes couples who are divorced or divorcing feel additional stress this time of year.  Families may have had long-established holiday rituals – every year, we go to this person’s house for Thanksgiving, here for Christmas, there for Hanukkah, etc. 

Maybe this year will be different, but that doesn’t mean it has to be less fun. Instead of getting stuck in the past, this holiday season may be a perfect time to create new traditions and memories for you and your family.

And what if this year, for the first time in a long time, you spend Thanksgiving or Christmas without your kids? That can be fun too – sometimes it is nice to have a break from the routine, where you can focus just on you. Take the opportunity to visit with friends or relatives that you don’t ordinarily see, read a book, rent a movie, do a house project, shop for yourself… With your new perspective, you can find a new way to celebrate that can be exciting and fulfilling.

In divorce mediation, we help families make parenting plans that cover important holidays so that no one feels left out.  We understand that each family has its own way of celebrating throughout the year, so we craft careful, creative plans.  Through this process, we minimize the stress, and help you and your family move forward on a new path.

For more information about parenting plans or divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

Where do I start? When a potential client calls to ask about divorce mediation, I often get asked this question.  The simple answer is……we start wherever you are, with whatever you know. We don’t ask you to bring any paperwork with you to the first meeting. At
Westfield Mediation, LLC, at the first meeting with all clients, regardless of their situation, we start off by explaining how divorce works in New Jersey, how divorce mediation works and how Westfield Mediation works.  We want our clients to understand what divorce mediation can and cannot do for them and what exactly they are agreeing to before they start this course of action for themselves.   
After the initial step of agreeing to participate in divorce mediation services, we are able to personalize the next steps to your situation.  So, we start where you are.

Some clients are already living in separate households and some clients cannot imagine how to go about living in two separate households.  Either way, your future as a divorced couple will have you living in two separate households.  We will help you get there, regardless of how you start.  Another example involves finances.  Some couples have completely separate finances, including bank accounts and credit cards, when they start mediation.  Others are fearful of breaking off into two sets of finances. However, you will have separate finances in your future and we will help you get there.  While we don’t actually accompany you to the bank to do the paperwork, we help you figure out which accounts are staying open with what balances and which accounts need to be closed.    

We understand that all these decisions can feel overwhelming.  Divorce Mediation does not follow a fixed time line.  The process can move as quickly or slowly as you need. Some decisions you may be able to make immediately, while others you may need more time to mull over.  

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we start with clients where they are, wherever that may be in their lives, but we end up with clients with a divorce agreement.

 For more information about divorce mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

 

How do you create a parenting plan with someone you no longer want to be around? In divorce mediation, we often start figuring out the divorce agreement by creating a parenting plan. After all, the amount of time the children spend with each parent influences other financial decisions, including spousal support, child support, and what to do with the house. 

During the mediation process, we often see two parenting problems. In one scenario, parents are being unrealistically optimistic – trying to devise a parenting plan that doesn’t reflect their current relationship with their children or their schedule. For example, sometimes a parent who was less involved in their child’s life wants 50/50 parenting. Such a change is fine, as long as it is attainable. Otherwise, they are simply setting themselves up to disappoint their children and irritate their ex-spouse. In other cases, the parents are using the children as pawns in their own arguments, refusing to agree to parenting plans because they are angry with their spouse, and they don’t want to give an inch on anything. While the issues are slightly different, the problems in these two scenarios are the same – the parents’ focus is not on the best interest of the children.

For a parenting plan to work, the parents must focus on the children’s needs. Children can adapt to new schedules. They fare best in an environment where they spend some time with each parent and have clear routines. They suffer most when they live in the midst of conflict – including feuding parents. In divorce mediation, we work with the parents to keep them focused on their children’s interests and help them develop a plan that works for the whole family.

For more information about Divorce Mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website atwww.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com