Nobody wants to add divorce to their to-do list – especially this time of year which can often feel overwhelming as it is.  In fact, many people who want out of their marriages view the divorce process as so daunting, they are afraid to begin.  They are unhappy in their relationships, but they worry that the divorce process will drain them emotionally and financially.  Yet, it doesn’t have to be that way.  In divorce mediation, we break down the issues of divorce into small steps so that it is possible to navigate through it all in a measured, doable way. 

At Westfield Mediation, we use our first client meeting to assess the couple’s needs.  In the next session, for couples with kids, we generally tackle dividing parenting schedules and responsibilities. After parenting, we go through the couple’s assets and debts and apportion them in a fair way that ensures that everyone can live within a reasonable budget.  Finally, we address issues like alimony and child support. Because each couple controls their own schedule, they can move as quickly, or as slowly as they feel comfortable.  By working step by step through a list of issues, the emotional and financial stresses become more manageable, and we reach an agreement that is fair for everyone. 

For couples interested in getting divorced, putting divorce on your to-do list is a difficult, but necessary step to getting to where you want to be.  Using mediation makes the process more manageable and easier to check off the list.

- Randi M. Albert

Divorce means an end to squabbling with your spouse about whose family you spend Thanksgiving with.  Thanksgiving is an American holiday. It does not matter what religion or nationality you are, if you live in the United States, odds are you celebrate Thanksgiving.  Most interfaith couples seem to divvy up the rest of the year with ease but Thanksgiving remains a sticking point, because everybody celebrates Thanksgiving. And everyone wants to celebrate Thanksgiving with their family. But what if your family configuration has changed due to a recent or impending divorce. This year there will be no squabbling about where to go to celebrate.

It may feel like you have no choice about your plans to celebrate because your kids and/or (ex)spouse will be together and you will be all alone. Actually you have many choices. You can spend the day with your extended family, if they are local. Or you may now be able to afford one plane ticket to travel to see your family, whereas before the cost of multiple plane tickets was prohibitive. You can catch up with your college roommate or high school friends, whom your spouse never liked. It is a good day to make a fire, relax and read a book. Or now is the time to tackle the endless to-do list of house projects . One of the most rewarding things to do on Thanksgiving is to volunteer some time at a soup kitchen to help give a satisfying Thanksgiving dinner to those who could really use a good meal and some good company.

It is time to make a new way to celebrate Thanksgiving. There are many bumps along the path of a life with divorce, but it is important to take some time and be thankful for all that you do have. It can be hard to live a life different than the one you had envisioned for yourself, but it is also an opportunity to start anew. Your choices are endless. Hope you enjoy your turkey day, no matter how you choose to spend it.