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Another Benefit of Mediation -- Stress Reduction

10/31/2014

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As divorce mediators, we are often promoting the benefits of divorce mediation over litigation.  Mediation is cheaper, faster, confidential, creative, etc. All this is true. Still, one point that we do not make enough is that mediation reduces stress by providing a structure and process during a time when families feel out of control.

Usually, in our first meetings with clients, they feel sad or angry or both.  In addition, the couple is often feeling uncomfortable because they are making a big decision, and they don’t know how to move forward.  We find that mediation is a calming process because it provides structure amid the chaos, and a trained, impartial guide through a difficult time. 

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, most clients complete mediation in 4-6 sessions. While the initial meeting may be tense, by the third meeting, the mood has generally changed for the better. The couple now sees how the divorce will play out, and the fear of the unknown is gone.  Unlike litigation, divorce mediation moves quickly and focuses on resolution. It allows couples to move forward and plan for the future instead of fixating on past arguments.  Through divorce mediation, a difficult and seemingly overwhelming situation can been broken into small, manageable steps, providing a better path for everyone.

For more information about Divorce Mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. 

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You Must Hear Some Crazy Stories

10/17/2014

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“You must hear some crazy stories.”  “What a stressful job.”  “Wow.”  These are the comments I typically get when I tell someone I meet for the first time that I am a Divorce Mediator.  I acknowledge their perception, but then go on to discourage them about their idea of divorce mediation.  In general, divorce mediation tends to proceed rather smoothly.  People getting divorced tend to agree about a majority of the issues at hand.  Even during a litigated divorce, couples spend most of their time, energy and money fighting over a few key issues while agreeing on a large majority of topics.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help couples address all of the areas of their divorce.  These topics include, but are not limited to, a parenting plan, divisions of assets and liabilities and support issues.  So that means- deciding who will have the kids when, including day to day schedule and for holidays/vacations, what will happen to your 401k, mortgage, credit card debt, house, etc., and we can calculate child support and address if spousal support (alimony) is warranted.  Surprisingly, to the general public, but not to us as mediators, couples reach an agreement relatively easily about almost all these topics.  There does tend to be one or two “hot button” items, which can be different for different couples, that comes up.  But that is why you use a mediator.  If you could easily resolve all the issues, you would not need a third party to get involved.

A divorce mediator helps the couple settle the hot button issues and reach a final divorce agreement that they can both live with for the future.  Our skills and experience at helping people overcome gridlock allows the couple to reach an agreement instead of remaining stuck on the same repeated argument.  I acknowledge that there are times when voices are raised or tears spilled in my office.  This is a common occurrence at least some point during the process.  After all, divorce is a stressful, emotional experience.  However, the mediator is able to acknowledge the difficulties while still moving the couple forward with their decisions. 

For more information about divorce mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.

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How To Pick A Divorce Mediator

10/3/2014

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Divorce Mediation is a simpler, cheaper, less contentious alternative to litigation.  To make it work best, you should choose someone to guide you through it that works well with you.  Also, sometimes issues arise after your divorce – for example, you may need to change your parenting plan or adjust your spousal support -- so if you pick wisely the first time, you have a mediator as a resource, if and when something comes up.

You might begin your search by asking friends and family for recommendations. If you prefer a more private search, ask your therapist or attorney, or go online. Try to collect a few names so that you have some options.  Consider the divorce mediators’ backgrounds and decide if you would like to work with a lawyer or a mental health professional. Would you prefer someone who specializes only in divorce mediation, or someone who offers mediation as one of many services?

Once you have a few names, call or email the divorce mediators to see how responsive they are to your concerns.  Choose someone who responds quickly, listens to what you are saying, and seems to know her stuff.  You need to feel comfortable with your divorce mediator, and confident in her ability to help.

Next, you may want to narrow your search by cost and location. At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we offer a pay-as-you-go approach, while other divorce mediators may require a retainer up-front.  Location is also important because divorce mediation generally requires a few sessions and you want to be able to get to the mediator’s office easily, from either home or work.

Divorce Mediation provides a good alternative to litigation.  Choosing a good mediator can make the process that much easier to navigate. 

For more information about Divorce Mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. 

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    Authors

    Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

    Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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