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When one spouse isn't ready for Divorce

9/20/2019

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A lot of times in divorce mediation, we find that one spouse is more ready to get divorced than the other. Sometimes, the reluctant spouse does not want to move forward because s/he wants to keep working on the relationship. Other times, s/he recognizes the problems with the marriage, but s/he is worried about the impact of divorce on the kids, or on the family’s financial situation.  Often, people are understandably nervous about the change and uncertainty that comes with divorce.

All of these feelings are normal and common. And couples shouldn’t rush into getting divorced. Yet, as we tell our clients at Westfield Mediation, LLC, if one person wants a divorce, realistically, it is likely it will happen sooner or later.

So, what should the reluctant spouse do?  Even if you do not want to get divorced, you need to participate actively in the process or you will likely wind up living with an agreement that does not work well for you. Participating often means considering the tough questions that are hard to grapple with – what kind of parenting plan do you want? Where are you going to live? What are you going to do with the house? -- so that you end up with a plan that you both can accept. You should make an effort not to opt out of the process just to get it over with, or so you don’t have to think about the future. 

​In divorce mediation, we recognize that moving ahead with divorce can be difficult and emotional.  We work with our clients to ensure that the hard issues are addressed in a way that works for both spouses – the ready one and the less ready one.
For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

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A NEW SCHOOL YEAR...AT WHAT SCHOOL?

9/6/2019

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​So long summer.  A new school year is upon us and your kids are now back to school.  Some kids are starting at a new school because they have graduated either from elementary to middle or middle to high school.  It is the natural order of things. Other kids may be starting new schools because their family moved to a new town.  And still some other kids are starting new schools because their parents are getting divorced.  Sometimes when parents get divorced both parents end up moving to new towns.  How do they decide what school system their children should attend?  Their previous public school is not an option anymore because neither parent resides in that town.   What if private school or magnet school needs to be considered?

This is a topic that is addressed during the process of divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC.  Our divorce mediators help a couple figure out what is in the best interest of the children.  Often times one parent plans to stay in the same town and not move.  This allows the children some continuity of attending the same school.  But then what if that parent moves in the future.  How do parents decide what new school would be the best fit for their children?  If parents can address this issue during mediation then there is no need to return to court to decide- as I am sure some parents hastily did this past summer and particularly this past week. 

Parents can be perplexed when this issue is brought up because they think they have a current plan in place that will continue to work until the kids graduate high school. However, it is impossible to predict the future.  So sometimes, well intended plans take a left turn into the unknown.  But it is not unknown if it is already in your divorce agreement. A good divorce mediator will help you plan for the plan that you never thought you'd need.  
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For more information on divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373.  View our website at  www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. 
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    Authors

    Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

    Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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