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domestic violence and divorce mediation

8/21/2017

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Divorce mediation can work well for many people.  It helps couples reach decisions on all areas in their divorce agreement- parenting plan, division of assets and debts, child support, alimony, etc.  It can be done quickly, privately and for significantly less money compared to litigation.  However, sometimes, in order to best serve our clients, we will not work with a couple even if they want to choose mediation.

The other day I got two phone calls, one from the husband and then one immediately following from the wife. It came to light that they currently have a restraining order in place and there were recent incidents of domestic violence. I explained to both of them that while I appreciated their enthusiasm for wanting to resolve their divorce through mediation it does not mean that I would see them as clients.  The issue of safety is paramount-- both for the mediator and the clients.  I don’t feel safe being in a small office with two people who a judge recently said should not even be near one another

Additionally when there has been domestic violence the power dynamic in the couple shifts, making it difficult for each party to have equal input into the decision making process.  With a history of domestic violence usually one person is dominant in the relationship and the other submissive.  It is hard to stick up for yourself if you are scared of the other person.  At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help both parties have input into the life-altering decisions you are both making for your separate futures.  Even if there has not been domestic violence but it is obvious during the mediation process that only person has say regarding decisions, we recommend stopping mediation and seeking an attorney who can advocate for the silent person’s needs.  You need someone to stand up for you if you are unable to do so on your own behalf. 

So, while divorce mediation works well for a large majority of people who walk through our door, every now and then we have to stop you before you even start.
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For more information about divorce mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.
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Post-divorce Mediation

8/4/2017

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Sometimes the divorce decree is not the final stop for divorcing spouses, and clients need Post-Divorce Mediation.  While this may feel like a setback, it is actually pretty common.  So, what are the reasons that already-divorced couples go to mediation?

In some cases, one or both of the exes are having trouble following the agreement, and they return to mediation in the hopes of working through their issues with a divorce mediator instead of returning to court.  Indeed, the court prefers mediation to continuing litigation.  In many settlement agreements, divorced couples are required to try to resolve their differences through mediation before the court will allow them to return.

Another reason for post-divorce mediation is that the needs of children have changed, and the parents want to modify the schedule, the parenting plan and/or child support.  Obviously, it is not always possible to predict how your children’s interests will change over time, and sometimes the original plan for them must be modified.  Moreover, if clients move to a new location or change jobs, parenting plans may need to be adjusted.  In addition, major changes to income from either employment or inheritance also lead divorce mediation clients back to the drawing board to re-work spousal support, child support or both.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we work with clients to make their post-divorce mediation sessions as painless and productive as possible. We recognize that many clients are frustrated to find themselves still working on their divorce, and we help guide them through this bump in the road. By using mediation rather than litigation to resolve post-divorce issues, clients can reduce their stress, and save time and money.

​For more information about parenting plans or divorce mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. 

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    Authors

    Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

    Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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