Divorce is the solution to a problem, not the problem itself.  The problem is you are in an unhappy marriage and no longer want to be.  The solution is to no longer be married to this person and move on with your life.  The divorce is the process you need to go through to resolve your problem.  Inevitably, to solve your problem you run into some bumps along the way, major decisions need to be made and some disagreements do occur, so it feels like the divorce is the problem.  But the process of divorce gets you to where you want to be…unmarried.    

Divorce Mediation can help you solve your problem and come to the solution in an amicable and cost-effective way.    In mediation, both husband and wife meet with a neutral mediator.  The three of you work together to problem-solve and move forward.  You address all the areas of a divorce- parenting plan, distribution of assets and debt, child support and alimony.  The mediator helps you resolve what is happening with the kids, house, 401K plans, mortgage, credit card debt.  How can you afford to live in two separate household when your current income was barely (or not at all) supporting one household? When you are all in the same room communicating about these important issues, answers can be found quickly and with minimal fighting. 

The divorce mediator always remains neutral, and does not take any one side.  But having that third person in the room, who is neutral, helps move the process along.  When left alone, most couples start to argue about something and get stuck and even back-track to the same old fight that contributed to the demise of the marriage.  The divorce mediator’s job is to help the process move forward and to plan for the future.  The mediator can table the fight and refocus on the task at hand, so decisions get made, couples work out a parenting plan, figure out new budgets, and decide what to do with the house and the retirement plans.  It is possible to have a more amicable divorce for a lower cost by using a divorce mediator.  While a divorce mediator does not resolve your problem directly by stating the answers, she helps the couple move the process along and solve their own problem (an unhappy marriage) with a solution (divorce). 

For more information about Divorce Mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

What is the cheapest way to get divorced? The most expensive way? The best way? The answer is different to all three questions.  In fact, divorce is one of those things where the best way is not necessarily the least or most expensive.

As for the least expensive way – you could do it yourself. Divorce forms are available at the local courthouse, and the court clerk may provide a little help. But, unless you are trained in family law, you may wind up making mistakes – both big and small -- that will haunt you down the road. 

The most expensive way is divorce litigation. In divorce litigation, both parties hire lawyers to hash out the details of their agreement. In New Jersey, most lawyers start by asking for a $5,000 retainer. Then they bill hourly, drawing the money from the retainer, often at $300/hour and more. Litigation is time-consuming and adversarial – meaning conflict can be increased rather than minimized. At the end of the process, you will have an agreement, but you may be out a lot of money, and emotionally drained.

So, the best way? The best way is divorce mediation. In divorce mediation, the couple works with one mediator who helps them come to an agreement on parenting and finances that works for them and their family. Working with a trained divorce mediator helps you avoid the pitfalls of do-it-yourself divorce because the divorce mediator knows the right questions to ask, and considers everyone’s best interest. The process is quicker and more economical than divorce litigation because both spouses work with one person instead of two. The goal is agreement, not conflict, as well as preserving a civil relationship, which is especially important when there are children involved. Over all, divorce mediation offers the best – not the cheapest or most expensive -- path through a difficult time in your life.

For more information about divorce mediation, contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com  or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.