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Explaining Child Support

7/26/2019

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During divorce mediation, divorcing parents are often confused by child support. How is it calculated? What is included? Can it change over time?  Dealing with the uncertainty of how much each parent is going to pay to support their kids makes people anxious. By explaining child support to our divorce mediation clients at Westfield Mediation, LLC., we try to take some of the stress out of the divorce process.

Generally speaking, the state has a formula for calculating child support based on the parents’ incomes and the amount of time each parent spends with the children. Child support is designed to cover children’s day to day expenses of food, shelter, transportation, entertainment, clothing, etc.  Additional costs like child care and health insurance are also factored into the equation. 

Some special expenses are not included in the state’s formula and have to be addressed separately. These special expenses include things such as private school, college education, some extra-curricular activities’ expenses, and big celebrations like bar/bat mitzvahs, confirmations and Sweet Sixteens.  Moreover, higher earners may find that the state child support guidelines cannot be applied to them.  In those cases, parents determine their child support responsibilities based on a budget of their children’s actual expenses.

The Courts require divorced parents to pay child support until their children are emancipated – usually once the kid graduates from college, joins the military, gets married or begins working full-time.  Child support can and should be recalculated on a regular basis.  So, if one or both of the parents’ incomes goes down, they can seek to reduce their financial responsibility.  The opposite is also true -- if the divorced parents’ incomes go up, or the children’s needs increase, the amount can be revised upward to account for these changes. Once our divorce mediation clients understand how child support works, they often feel more comfortable moving forward.

​For more information on child support or divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. 
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FILING FOR DIVORCE TO MOVE MEDIATION ALONG

7/12/2019

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At the most recent mediator networking event the question came up about how to get both parties to continue to participate in mediation to completion, when they are almost done with the process.  Sometimes one person unconsciously or deliberately stalls the process, usually because s/he can enjoy the perk of being currently separated without actually being divorced. A final, legal divorce will affect their current lifestyle so s/he is trying to put that off as long as possible. Or a person does not want to be labeled divorced. Checking the married box for another little while feels better, so mediation is stalled. A spouse will not make another appointment to come in and make some final decisions. 

Usually the person who wants to get divorced is eager to continue the process and presses the more reluctant spouse to make another mediation appointment.  At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we have seen clients be more than 90% done, decisions made, and then, one party refuses to return to address that remaining few issues, that last 10%.  So, what recourse does a person have?

Unfortunately, in divorce mediation not much. You can wait and cross your fingers that the reluctant spouse changes his/her mind and resumes mediation.  Divorce mediation requires both parties to participate in the process.  It moves faster, is more amicable and costs significantly less than litigation because both spouses are in the same room, directly speaking with one another about all the issues, making decisions about their new futures. And it is voluntary. You cannot force your spouse to participate. One recourse the person has, and not to be a jerk but just to move the process forward, is to file the divorce proceedings with the court and serve your reluctant spouse with divorce paperwork.  Once your spouse is served s/he has a time limit to respond.  This will either gently prod him/her to return to mediation to finish up addressing the few remaining issues or hash it out in court.  Either way, resolutions will be reached and a divorce will be finalized.  Hopefully, s/he can still see that mediation has worked and can continue to work until the end and s/he will return to mediation.  But s/he may need that nudge of filing to move along the process. 
​
To learn more about divorce and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373.  View our website at  www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. 
​
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    Authors

    Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

    Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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