Each week I read all the covers of the magazines while waiting in line at the grocery store. It helps me quickly catch up on the latest gossip – who’s getting married, who’s having a baby, who’s breaking up. I know that sensational headlines make people more inclined to buy the magazine or newspaper, just ask the New York Post. But what if there were no trashy headlines about people’s divorces because there was no drama? What if the headlines were about divorce mediation – the low-drama divorce alternative?

The news of the divorce of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes spread like wildfire and was everywhere you turned. But they settled their issues within two weeks, leaving the gossip magazines and entertainment news shows to talk about the Kardashians and more Real Housewives from Wherever. What if the media made headlines out of how amicable a divorce can be and left out all the drama. Would that sell? Doubtful. So, it is up to us regular people to spread the word that while divorce is disruptive to your life plan, it does not have to be melodramatic and worthy of trashy headlines. It is possible to quickly, amicably and privately settle the issues of divorce. 

How? One way is by using a professional divorce mediator. At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help couples address the areas of divorce like parenting plans, division of assets, spousal support and child support in a calm, supportive way. Meetings are scheduled at your convenience, moving as quickly or slowly as you desire. It is pay as you go, so no large retainer is required. It keeps you in control of the decisions being made, not your lawyer or a judge. Overall, the process is much less sensational than the type of divorce you usually hear about. In this situation, less drama is better. And it is a shame that boring does not sell, because many people could learn a thing or two while standing in line at the grocery store, if only the media cooperated. 
 

Many couples who want to divorce think that they need to wait until the timing is right.  “Just wait until the market picks up so we can sell our house for a better price” “Just wait until after the kids finish high school” “Just wait until after the trip we planned for this summer” “Just wait until after the holidays” “Just wait until after my parents visit”, etc.

Sometimes waiting is the right thing to do. And sometimes waiting for the perfect moment just makes the bad times last that much longer.  Truth is, just like there is no perfect time to have a baby, change jobs, or relocate, there is often no perfect time to divorce.  It is going to be stressful whenever it happens. 

Rather than search for the perfect moment, couples should try to take other steps to reduce the drama of divorce.  One way to do that is to choose divorce mediation rather than litigation.  In divorce mediation, the couple works together with an impartial mediator to reach an agreement on parenting, child support, spousal support and dividing assets.  Unlike litigation, which pits spouses against each other, the goal of mediation is to work together to come to a mutually-agreeable solution.  Couples who go through mediation often tell us, “this was much more painless than we expected.”  Mediation saves time and money and improves post-divorce relationships. 

And the best part is, once the process is complete, the couple can put past problems behind them, and move forward with new fuller, more satisfying lives.  So, while no one knows when is the best time for divorce -- the best time for seeking a happier future may be now.

-Randi Albert, JD