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Parenting and Non-disparagement clauses

5/29/2020

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Can you limit what your ex-spouse says about you to your kids? Yes and no.

When crafting a parenting plan in divorce mediation, we generally include a clause stating that neither parent can say negative things about the other in front of the children. These provisions are called non-disparagement clauses and their purpose is to protect the kids from being exposed to and upset by their parents’ anger. The Courts require that child custody arrangements must be in the best interest of the children; and studies have shown that living in conflict has a negative effect on kids.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, most clients agree to this clause; and the Courts have held that voluntary-agreed-to provisions like this can be enforceable. Still, clients cannot be too restrictive in the kinds of limits that they put on their ex-spouse’s ability to speak about them. For example, the Courts have found that strict rules that prevent parents from posting specific statements on social media about their ex-spouse may not be enforceable. Such prior restraints on speech are not allowed under the Constitution’s First Amendment protections.

In divorce mediation, we work with divorcing parents to create a parenting plan that works for them and keeps the kids’ interests in mind. By including voluntary non-disparagement clauses in our agreements, we remind parents that part of their role as parents is modeling good, civil behavior for their kids and minimizing their exposure to anger and conflict.
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For more information about parenting plans and divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. 

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DIVORCE, CORONAVIRUS AND CHILDREN'S MENTAL HEALTH

5/15/2020

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In New Jersey, schools will remain virtual until the end of the year due to the coronavirus.  Many end-of-the-year traditions (graduation ceremonies, dances/proms) have been cancelled.  Your kids may be fed up with the monotony of seeing teachers, school mates and friends on screens and not in real life.  Your child/children may be down in the dumps, anxious about the unknown future and a little lonely.  These feelings are not unexpected under these unprecedented circumstances.

It is vital that you discuss your child’s mental well-being with your co-parent.  Is s/he acting the same way in both houses?  Or has the parenting plan been disrupted and your child is spending more time/less time with one parent than the other?  How is s/he coping? Has s/he talked to either parent about these feelings? 

It seems true that we are all in this together.  And it will be easier for your children to make it through these times with your parental support.  Arguing with your co-parent, before, during or after the divorce, is not the way to go.  Now is the time to be even more flexible, communicative and understanding with your co-parent, regardless of the status of your divorce.  Not an easy task. If needed, you can make an appointment with a divorce mediator at Westfield Mediation, LLC, to help resolve any issues that are arising because of your divorce and current circumstances.  Having a third-party neutral present can help move the conversation from impasse to resolution.  And your children need you to do this, for their sake.  The kids have enough to deal with.
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For more information on divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373.  View our website at  www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. 

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Why now may be a good time for divorce mediation

5/1/2020

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Many couples who were considering divorce before the Coronavirus hit, are currently wondering whether they should move ahead now with divorce mediation or wait until life gets back to normal.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we tell our divorce mediation clients that we recognize that this is a difficult time for everyone. Yet, while we are all dealing with the stress and uncertainty of the quarantine/lockdown, there are some real benefits to working on your divorce agreement now.

First of all, we don’t know when the economy is going to pick up again, so waiting for the perfect time to move forward – the time when your home has more value, or you have better job security, or your retirement assets bounce back -- may mean waiting for a long time in an unhappy family situation. Instead of feeling stuck, you can use this time productively to create a parenting and financial plan. If the issues of your marriage are weighing on you, taking action may make you feel more in control of your life and less stressed all around. Moreover, if you decide to start creating a future plan -- there is no rush to finalize anything yet. The courts are open, but in a limited way right now, so the process can move ahead but may take a little longer. Having a plan in mind and on paper, will allow you to move quickly when you decide it’s the right time. Finally, because the pandemic has changed everyone’s schedule, and many of us are working from home, people can more easily plan their appointments.

The hardships we are living through with the Coronavirus and the quarantine can feel overwhelming. Still, for many families, there are real practical and emotional benefits to moving ahead now with divorce mediation.  

​For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. 
 

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    Authors

    Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

    Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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