Variety is the spice of life and, in general, I agree.  Maybe that is why it is quite unusual in the field of mediation to do only mediation.  Many mediators are lawyers or therapists and do mediation as an adjunct to their primary role as a lawyer or therapist.  They can offer the service, but not solely have to rely on it as the only source of work. 

Well, Westfield Mediation, LLC, is the exception to the general rule.  We do not offer any variety.  We only do divorce (or post-divorce) mediation.  We believe in the process of mediation so much that we don’t think of it as an add-on, but the theoretical and practical core of our work.  We don’t want to do some therapy or law and mix in a little mediation to add some diversity.  We don’t find doing just mediation boring or impractical.  In fact, we feel that our clients benefit from our laser focus and expertise in doing only divorce mediation. The more you do mediation the more experience you have to fall back on when facing an impasse. We can tell current clients what past clients have done in similar situations, when facing important life decisions about their future.  We have years of experience only doing divorce mediation. Since all we do is divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we can offer you more knowledge and understanding than someone who sort of does mediation every now and then.   An experienced divorce attorney who attempts to do mediation may be in business for over 20 years, but has only done a handful of mediation cases. 

If you want to get divorced using divorce mediation then use a full-time mediator, not someone who dabbles in mediation.  An important question to ask a potential mediator is how much of his/her time is spent doing divorce mediation.  At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we don’t have to stop to figure this out.  We can immediately say with confidence that 100% of our time is spent doing divorce mediation. Not many other mediators can say that.  If you are considering using a divorce mediator to help you stay in control of your divorce while you save time, money, and lower your stress during a stressful process, then use one that finds variety (in this case) unnecessary. 

For more information about Divorce Mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com

Sometimes when we are creating a parenting plan in divorce mediation, a divorcing couple seems puzzled by all the questions.  Our plans are usually very thorough -- we like to review custody plans and holidays, as well as education, religious school, outside activities, college expenses, etc., etc.. Sometimes, couples ask “Why do we need to map everything out?  Why can’t we just work it out when the time comes?”  “We are flexible,” they claim.

Well, maybe.  But, in divorce mediation, we like to create a blueprint for the family’s future.  The parenting plan may change as the children grow and economic situations change.  So, the more flexible you are the better.  Still, it is good to have a default plan in place for every day, and for the times that problems arise.  The parenting plan is a place to turn when the parents do not agree about how to proceed.  Also, sometimes the partner claiming that the couple is flexible is really just used to get his or her way, so the parenting plan provides protection for both parties.

In addition, as people begin to move on, and add new people into their lives, the amicable relationship that they now have may change over time, and it is good to have a plan in place.  Indeed, one of the more prickly issues, is often how and when to introduce new partners to the children.  We discuss this and other difficult issues upfront, so that everyone knows how to proceed when the time comes.  By covering all the issues in the parenting plan – the hard ones and the easy ones – we minimize future stresses for the parents and the kids, and the whole family does better.

For more information about parenting plans or divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908-913-0373 or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. You can also visit our website www.westfieldnjmediation.com

How did we end up here?  As a divorce mediator, I do understand that usually one if not both of the people using my services asks themselves this question.  People do not think they will get divorced when they get married, even though statistics say otherwise.  Many clients actually get along quite well with one another and we do sometimes wonder why are these people getting divorced and how did they end up in our office. 

While my background is in marriage and family therapy and I am trained to examine how people interact and their relationship health, I am very cognizant of using these skills for mediation purposes only.  While I do ask the couples I work with if they are sure divorce is their goal and not reconciliation, I never attempt to do any therapy with them.  Some couples laugh, joke around and communicate quite well in our office and easily develop a fair divorce agreement with minimal animosity, yet still do not want to remain married.  They get along very well, seem comfortable with one another and enjoy being around each other.  As a divorce mediator, as long as there is no concern for abuse or neglect, it is none of my business what caused the couple to want to end their marriage and they don’t have to tell me if they don’t want to share this information. 

Couples who do have this pleasant, functioning relationship are ideal candidates for mediation.  Divorce mediation allows the couple to meet together with the mediator and have direct communication with one another to decide all the areas of the divorce agreement.  The couple will develop a parenting plan, and address the division of assets and debts, child support and alimony. Because they are meeting with one professional together, instead of two divorce attorneys separately, they save time, money and promote the continuation of their seemingly amicable relationship. 

For more information about Divorce Mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com