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The Expenses of Divorce

4/17/2015

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In many cases, the emotional costs of staying in an unhappy marriage outweigh the financial costs of divorce.  At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we tell our clients, that the best way to deal with the divorce expenses -- both the costs of the divorce process and the expenses of creating two households from one -- is to prepare for them.

The first expense arises from the divorce process itself. Divorce mediation provides a lower cost alternative to litigation. Litigation can cost tens of thousands of dollars, and most attorneys require a retainer upfront. In contrast, in divorce mediation, instead of each spouse hiring an attorney to hash out the terms, you both work together with one neutral mediator to create an agreement on parenting and finances that works for your family.  In addition, divorce mediation allows clients to pay as they go, instead of paying large retainers to two attorneys. This approach allows couples to budget their expenses and save money.

Creating two households from one also costs money.  For most people, living separately is more expensive than living together. As part of the divorce mediation process, we have couples look at their current budget for living together and compare that to ones that they will create for their new separate households. This process allows clients to see what the future holds, so that they can prepare for it, and look for ways to increase income or cut back on expenses as needed. Knowing what lies ahead and taking steps to address future financial obligations reduces the stresses that often arise for divorcing couples. Through mediation, we work to minimize both the emotional and financial costs of divorce.


For more information about the expenses of divorce or about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com


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what happens to my kids if I die

4/7/2015

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There are many reasons you should get a will, but once you become a parent you really should get a will.  This allows you to have some say about what would happen to your kids if both parents die, specifically who would become guardians of your kids.  You should also get life insurance so your designated guardians have some money available to raise your kids.  Many people have neither a will nor life insurance.  This could become problematic when you are getting divorced.

It seems as though many people do not get a will because Mom and Dad do not agree about who to name as a guardian.  However, when you are divorced, it is rather unlikely that both parents will die at the exact same time, since traveling together usually no longer occurs.  So you can name a guardian of your choice in your will.  It is common courtesy to discuss your choice with your children’s other parent.

During divorce mediation at Westfield Mediation, LLC, parents almost always agree that if s/he dies the other surviving parent will get full legal and physical custody of the kids.  However, if that co-parent predeceased the spouse then the kids will live with the remaining parent’s choice of guardian.  So the guardian only comes into play if both parents have died and have kids under the age of 18.  If one parent dies then the kids live with the surviving parent.  If both parents die then the kids live with the guardian named in the parent’s will who died second.  These are morbid, awful thoughts but you want to make sure that someone is taking care of your kids.

So how is the guardian named in your newly created will going to financially support your children?  Well, you were a responsible divorced parent and provided a life insurance policy with your children named as the beneficiaries.  So now your kids no longer have your weekly income to cover their costs, but do have monies set aside to pay for their food, housing, entertainment, college, health insurance, camp, clothes, grief counseling, etc.  They will be able to have their financial needs met even when you are no longer there to financially meet them.  Life insurance also offers relief to the surviving parent.  He/She also relied on your contribution from your weekly paycheck to provide for the kids.  The other parent is not getting the money, your kids get the money.  Now the financial responsibility is not solely on the other parent and your kids do not have to do without.   

All parents should have a will and life insurance, and hope to not have to use either, for the well-being of their children.  These documents become even more critical when you get divorced.

For more information about divorce mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.  

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    Authors

    Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

    Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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