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From panic to resolution through mediation

3/18/2016

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Deciding to get divorced can feel overwhelming, and it often takes couples a long time to accept that their marriage is not working.  At a mediation workshop I recently attended, a therapist who works with divorcing couples said that uncoupling often leads to panic, and feelings of abandonment.  As divorce mediators, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, we help divorcing couples create a plan for their future which, in turn, helps them to address that emotional upheaval and reach a place of resolution. 

The divorce mediation process can provide a means of going from uncertainty and worry to calm agreement and acceptance.  During mediation, we find out what each spouse wants out of the agreement and what would work well for their children.  We consider each family dynamic and the couple’s financial resources. We take a practical and methodical approach, and carefully consider how the future will play out.  Through this process, we can craft individualized agreements that are specific to each family.

In our experience, working through each of the parenting and financial issues helps divorcing couples see areas of compromise.  As a result, our process takes away some of the panic. We have worked with clients who come in confused and worried, wondering how they will ever make through the process and share parenting or make ends meet. By the end of mediation, they emerge confident and reassured, with a plan in hand. Going through divorce mediation often makes the future seem more manageable and less overwhelming.

For more information, For more information about divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at
info@westfieldnjmediation.com
 
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am I ever completely done with my divorce?

3/4/2016

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Many times a couple is not truly done with their divorce agreement, even after they are divorced.  When developing a divorce agreement it is important to understand that it is a static document and you are living an ever-changing real life.  As professional divorce mediators we do our best to reflect that the arrangements in your divorce agreements may need to change and try to anticipate a method to go about addressing those changes when they inevitably happen over time.  The needs of a 5 year old are not the same as the needs of a 15 year old.  So, the agreement you developed 10 years ago, may not work very well now. 

Sometimes it is necessary to return to mediation at some point in the future, long after you have been granted your divorce and are living out your divorce agreement.  There are many reasons people may need to return to tweak either their parenting plan and/or financial arrangements- kids get older, incomes go drastically up or down, people have new relationships, people want to retire, etc. 

At
Westfield Mediation, we explain that it is okay to make changes down the road to your divorce agreement.  It does not mean that you did not have a good divorce agreement at the time that you got divorced.  It just means that sometimes a fixed document needs to be adjusted to fit in with your current life circumstances.  We can easily see a couple again to help them adjust their alimony terms or run the child support guidelines for them.  We can help families make changes to their parenting plan due to schedule changes or living arrangements being re-evaluated.  It is cost-effective to see a mediator for one session to discuss your needed changes. 

For more information about Divorce or Post-Divorce Mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at
www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com
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    Authors

    Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

    Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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