A lot of people come to divorce mediation thinking that they want a 50/50 parenting plan.  It sounds like a great idea – fair, even, and good for the children. And it is all these things. However, it is also hard to make it work unless both parents are both flexible and committed to the plan.

Under a 50/50 parenting plan, the children spend half of their time with each parent. That means that the parents will have to live near each other and near to the children’s schools. We often recommend that parents split the week – for example, one parent gets Monday and Tuesday, while the other gets Wednesday and Thursday; and then they have alternating weekends. This way the kids know which house they will be at each day; and neither parent goes too long without seeing their children. This consistency is good for children who generally thrive with routine. It is also good for the parents – they know which days they can work late or socialize after work. 

To make the 50/50 parenting plan possible, the kids will need to have clothes and school supplies at each home.  In addition, the parents will have to be flexible because the children’s school and after-school activities may require changes on short-notice.  Also, the parents must have the kind of jobs that allow them to be home in the evenings for a set number of days.  Changes to the parents’ jobs can quickly make the 50/50 plan difficult to do.

In divorce mediation, we help parents create a plan that meets the needs of their particular family. A 50/50 parenting plan is one good option. With a certain amount of commitment and flexibility, these plans can work successfully.

For more information about Parenting Plans or Divorce Mediation, please call Randi M. Albert, JD or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908-913-0373 or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. You can also visit our website www.westfieldnjmediation.com

Divorce mediation is a lower-cost alternative to litigation.  Mediation involves husband and wife sitting down with a neutral third party (mediator) to work out all the issues of the divorce…parenting plan, division of assets and debts, child support, alimony, etc.  The mediator meets with husband and wife together.  This helps direct communication and decision making, which results in accomplishing more in less time for a significantly lower divorce bill.  Of course, mediation is not free – a mediator is an expert who charges for her services. But, mediation is much less expensive than litigation.

A client recently told me that his brother has spent over $80,000 on his litigated, nasty divorce while he spent less than $2,000 on his relatively simple (no children or alimony involved) mediated divorce.  And that $2,000 is the total, he and his wife each paid $1,000.  Another advantage of mediation is that it is pay as you go, with payment due at the end of each meeting. No upfront retainer is required. Clients pay for time spent working on their case, both in and out of meetings. Depending on where you are in the process, the costs can ebb and flow.  At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we charge $250 per hour.  So if we meet for one hour, at the end of that hour you (husband and wife combined, not each) owe $250.  If I spend 2 hours working on your parenting plan outside of a meeting and then at the next meeting we meet for an hour, you pay $750 at the end of the meeting.  Again, parties can agree to evenly split this cost.   If I spend no time working on your case in between meetings, then at the end of that meeting, you pay only for the time in the meeting.  Meetings can also be scheduled according to your financial needs.  Sometimes clients prefer to have the next meeting after payday, if they expect a larger mediation bill.

So while mediation is not free, it is relatively low-cost.  You can expect to pay a few thousand dollars instead of tens of thousands. Many people are motivated to try mediation because of the lower cost.  They are then pleasantly surprised how well the process works in promoting a more positive post-divorce relationship for themselves and their children.  They came for the cost-savings and left with so much more.