Many couples interested in divorce mediation ask us, “Is it better to separate first, then start mediation? Or should we mediate before we separate?” As with most complicated questions about the divorce process, the answer can depend on the couple.

Some divorcing couples prefer to begin divorce mediation before they separate. This way, they have their parenting and financial plans laid out before they take the big step of setting up different households. For these families, the focus is on creating as much certainty as possible before they make a big change. Such an approach works well for couples who need time to get their finances in order, as well as those who need a mediator’s help to craft a workable plan to begin living apart. Of course, the plans may need to be modified along the way, but a good divorce mediation agreement allows for review and change as needed.

Other divorcing couples prefer to separate before they begin mediation. In this scenario, the couple can start to see what works best for them – and what does not work -- in their new two household lives before committing their plans to paper.   One advantage of this approach is that the divorce mediation process may be less stressful because the parties are not living in the same space as they hammer out a plan for their future.

In divorce mediation, we recognize that different families have different needs. The mediation process allows each couple to create an agreement that works well for their particular family, and determining when in the process to separate is one of the key questions each couple needs to decide for themselves.

For questions about Divorce Mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT at Westfield Mediation, LLC, by phone at 908-913-0373, or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. You can also visit our website www.westfieldnjmediation.com.

An important area to learn about, that many people overlook during a divorce, is how divorce may effect your Social Security benefits. Most people who are going through a divorce have so much to think about, that retiring is the last thing on their minds.  They think they will have to work forever.  At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we are able to take the long view and help people plan for their future, including their retirement. 

Here is some helpful information to consider, especially if you are close to age 62 when you get divorced.  When you are divorced, if your marriage lasted 10 years or longer you can receive benefits based on your ex-spouse’s work history record (even if he/she has remarried) if you meet the following criteria:

• you are 62 years old or above
• -you are unmarried at the time (never remarried or remarried but currently divorced/annulled/widowed)
• -your ex-spouse is entitled to Social Security
• -your ex-spouse’s benefit is higher than your own

The amount of benefits you get has no effect on monies your ex-spouse or his/her current or ex-spouse may receive.  So, even if your ex-spouse remarries and that marriage lasts for more than 10 years, two spouses (one current and one ex or two exes) benefit will be based off of the same person.  If you have been divorced for at least two years and you reach age 62, you can elect to start receiving Social Security benefits based on your ex-spouse’s record, even if your ex-spouse is eligible for benefits but has not yet elected to receive them.  You can start collecting even if your ex-spouse has not. 

There can be a lot of “government speak” about the rules, so it is always a good idea to talk to someone at Social Security or check out their website http://www.ssa.gov/retire2/yourdivspouse.htm to make sure you understand all the ins and outs of this benefit.  Sometimes it makes more financial sense to not start collecting Social Security at age 62, even though you are eligible.  The amount you receive may be higher when you have a later start date. 

During a divorce you have to plan for your future, a future different than you had previously imagined.  It is important that you take into consideration all the financial factors, including Social Security.  At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we can help you do just that.

For more information about Divorce Mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com