Say you have already decided to get divorced, and you know you need to hire a mediator.   How do you get started?  How do you find the divorce mediator that is best for you?

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we tell people to use the REACT five factor test to find the best fit for you:  Reputation, Expertise, Approach, Cost , and Travel.  If you can find a divorce mediator who meets your needs in each of these areas, you can begin on the right foot. 

The first factor to consider is reputation.  Ask friends, neighbors, co-workers to see if they have any recommendations.  Get a few names if possible, and see if any name comes up more than once.  Look up the divorce mediators on the web.  Do they have any positive or negative reviews?    

While you are searching the web, consider the mediators’ expertise.  Do they have experience in divorce mediation?  Are they general mediators, or do they focus only on family issues? Are they general litigators, who do mediation or family law on the side or is this all they do?  Do you want someone with a legal background? Would you prefer working with someone from the mental health field?    

Once you narrow down your search, call a few divorce mediators to get a sense of their personalities and whether their approach will mesh well with yours.  Do you want someone who is very business-like, or would you prefer someone who will discuss the emotional impact of your decisions? Is the mediator receptive to your questions?  Do she call right back, or are you a lower priority for her? Divorce can be very difficult and you want a good relationship with the person who is helping you through the process.

While you are on the phone, ask them about their fees, and how much the divorce mediation process will cost in total.  Make sure that you are comfortable with their payment requirements before you begin.  It will be more expensive if you need to start and stop with different mediators because the costs are not what you expected. 

Finally, consider their location. You will have to travel to their office several times – are they located near your work or home? Are they accommodating about scheduling?

While divorce can be hard, finding the right mediator doesn’t have to be. Using the REACT five factor test – Reputation, Expertise, Approach, Cost and Travel, will help you take the right first step towards your divorce.

For more information about divorce mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. 


- Randi M. Albert

You are gung-ho to move forward with your divorce, but your spouse is dragging his/her feet. You have heard about the benefits of divorce mediation- it can save you time and money and is better for the kids.  Great, where can I sign up?  But when you call the divorce mediator you are told that mediation requires both husband and wife to attend together.  Your spouse has refused to accept that a divorce is happening and will not agree to any part of a divorce, including attending mediation sessions. Now what?

Divorce mediation requires both husband and wife to attend as opposed to litigation, where husband sees his lawyer, wife sees her lawyer, and the lawyers communicate with each other and then back to the clients.  In litigation, the spouses do not have to communicate at all.  It will cost them financially and emotionally, but conversing with one another is not required.  In mediation husband and wife are in the same room communicating directly with one another, making joint decisions about their divorce and future.  While the mediator is there to facilitate the process and help the couple reach agreements, mediation involves the couple talking openly and honestly about the issues and deciding for themselves (not a judge) how to resolve them.  If only one spouse is present, this process does not work.  So again, now what?

Here, in the United States, if you and your spouse do not agree about divorce, it doesn’t mean you have to stay married.  So if you choose to get divorced you can, even if your spouse opposes it.  At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we offer the option for one spouse to attend a single-session informational meeting that thoroughly explains the process of mediation, litigation, pro se, uncontested divorce and contested divorce in New Jersey.  We feel that knowledge is power and you will feel well informed and empowered to then return home and discuss these options with your spouse.  Your spouse may be more willing to cooperate with mediation when he/she realizes that the divorce will happen, one way or the other.  It benefits both of you, and the children, to minimize the hostility and expense of divorce.  Then you can both feel comfortable choosing divorce mediation. 

For more information about divorce mediation contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, LMFT, at Westfield Mediation, LLC, at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com.