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Sharing custody

1/19/2018

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For the most part, divorcing parents come to mediation with the idea that they will share custody of the kids. Usually, clients want to spend some time each week with their children. Still, shared custody can take many forms, and what the final parenting schedule looks like can vary depending on the needs of the family.  The key to a successful post-divorce parenting plan is combining both consistency and flexibility.

At Westfield Mediation, LLC, we work with divorcing clients to create parenting plans that will work for now and continue to make sense as their children grow. In some cases, the divorcing couple chooses a 50/50 plan.  In 50/50 arrangements, parents share parenting evenly.  These agreements can be a great choice as long as parents live near each other and are prepared to work together to juggle schedules and responsibilities.  See http://www.westfieldnjmediation.com/blog/5050-parenting-plans.  Other parents share time by having the kids live primarily with one parent during the week, while the other parent spends time with the children on some evenings and/or on weekends or over school breaks.  These plans can also be a good option for some families.

Really, the most important factor contributing to a parenting plan’s success is the divorcing parents’ commitment to making it work. That means that each parent has to uphold their part of the agreement.  It also means that when life intervenes, and a schedule needs to be modified --either temporarily or for the long-term -- the parents are willing to accommodate the changing needs of their children and their exes.

For more information on parenting plans or divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. 
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THE STATUS QUO AND DIVORCE

1/8/2018

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Life on paper is not the same as life in real time.  No divorce agreement is perfect.  It is okay if you need to readdress some issues down the road.  You and your children’s lives are not the same as they were 10 years ago.  The status quo may work for a while for your divorce agreement after you get divorced.  But sometimes you need to revisit the agreement.  Either because the issue was never addressed in the original agreement (how to pay for college, new partners), your circumstances have changed (loss of job, relocation, remarriage), or you have changed your mind about something (private versus public high school). 

The more detailed you make your original divorce agreement the less wiggle room there is down the road.  But there is always wiggle room because a life outlined on a piece of paper does not take into account every real-life circumstance.  So, you have to understand this when making your original divorce agreement.  The mediators at Westfield Mediation, LLC, always explain this to clients.  Some people choose not to address certain issues because they think it will never happen to them- relocation- or just don’t want to deal with it at the time of the divorce- paying for college.  These are the people we see most often for post-divorce mediation for the modification of their original divorce agreement. 
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For certain issues, the status quo cannot stand.  If your child is going to college then somehow it will get paid for or your child will not go to college.  If you are moving then somehow your parenting plan will be reworked.  You cannot approach post-divorce mediation thinking the current situation will stand when the circumstances demand a change. The mediators at Westfield Mediation help facilitate the conversation so you can make decisions about your new futures.  Because the status quo just won’t do anymore.   
For more information on divorce mediation, please contact Randi M. Albert, JD, or Michelle Weinberg, M. Ed., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, at Westfield Mediation, LLC at 908.913.0373.  View our website at www.westfieldnjmediation.com or email us at info@westfieldnjmediation.com. 
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    Authors

    Michelle Weinberg, M.Ed.,LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with many years of experience working with couples.

    Randi M. Albert, JD, is an attorney with experience in family law and public service.

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