Finding A Good Fit

Finding a good fit applies to most things in life.  You have a favorite pair of jeans because they fit just so.  You have a best friend because he/she fits with your personality.  You thought you had a good fit with your spouse.  Well, if you are reading this then that might not be the case anymore, and it is time to find another good fit in your life- a divorce mediator. 

While all divorce mediators can address the issues to help you end your marriage, not all divorce mediators are a good fit for you.  It is okay to shop around.  Make some calls or take some meetings to ensure you find a good match.  We mediators have thick skin and are not offended if the relationship does not click and you choose to go elsewhere.  But don't give up on mediation.  You just need more time and effort to find the right fit for you.  

A good mediator can be understanding, challenging and thought-provoking when the situation warrants it.  Some people prefer a specific gender.  Some people want a mediator with humor to help ease the tension; others want a serious one because divorce is no joking matter.  While one client may want a mediator who has a legal background, others do not want to touch a lawyer with a ten foot pole.  One of the great benefits of Westfield Mediation, LLC, is that our mediators come from a background in law and mental health.  We make sure to keep each other in balance, so you are getting the best of both worlds. 

Divorce is a very stressful time in your life.  If you are trying to work with a divorce mediator who you feel is not the right fit, then you are adding to the stress. You do not have to make a square peg fit with a round hole. Keep on looking until it feels right. 

Taking the Embarrassment Out of Divorce 

When I asked the leader of a community organization about bringing a workshop on divorce mediation to his group, he said, “No one will go.  No one wants to admit publicly that he or she is getting divorced.” Is that true? And if so, why?

People go to de-cluttering workshops -- admitting publicly that they need help keeping their house from getting too messy; they go to parenting workshops, and everyone then knows that they don’t have all the answers about raising kids; they go to disease prevention workshops – for all sorts of diseases – just to keep informed and healthy.  So why is it embarrassing to seek help ending a serious relationship?

With statistics showing that almost half of all marriages end in divorce, it is puzzling that people view it as a personal failure that cannot be discussed among others.  Instead, couples should be praised for seeking information on making the process less painful for themselves and their family.  At divorce mediation workshops, experts explain the divorce process, how mediation works, and how people can best prepare for their new lives – both financially and emotionally.  All valuable information. Moreover, seeing other people with similar issues can be very comforting. Couples who go through mediation often have the least acrimonious, least devastating divorces And there is nothing embarrassing about that.